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Paraplegic Male - Is an Orgasm possible?
  • para
    Posts: 2
    Hi

    17 years ago I smashed my Porsche and broke my back level T6, which led to paralysis from the chest down. One of the consequences, I was told, was that sex would be poor to non existent.

    In the general scheme of things, this didn't seem that important as my estranged wife divorced me and my girlfriend left me, and who's going to want a guy the wrong side of forty, broke (I lost my business at the same time) and stuck in a wheelchair. However 9 years ago I met a wonderful girl who wasn't put off by my wheelchair and was relieved by the lack of sexual capability. We got along brilliantly and got married a year later.

    I still had (and have) the desire to make love but she didn't want sex. However gentle foreplay proved we could manage very well without an erect penis. Ten fingers make a very adequate substitute to the point where I can bring her to multiple orgasms and ejaculations that are so strong that she wets the bed. (No it's definitely not wee). She has even learnt to bring herself off!!!! We've tried Viagra which brings a very adequate erection but normally not a lot more. On one or two occassions I have managed to ejaculate and have some pleasure.

    The next bit get a bit basic - paraplegics can't wee and poo normally. To wee you have to insert a catheter (14" plastic tube) to drain the bladder off. To empty the other channel, I've evolved a satisfactory method - using a warm shower, running water over my anus. Then the sphincter muscles relax and I can use my fingers (gloved) to empty the passage. I discovered that if I massaged my prostrate it felt nice in a strange way and the best bit of all I would leak a small amount of semen. By carefully gathering it up in a small syringe and deep injecting into my wife's virgina, we were able to get her pregnant and now have a lovely six year old daughter!

    The one thing that is missing is the feeling of an orgasm. My wife would love to help me have as much pleasure as she gets in bed.

    What are the general thoughts... Would using an Aneros help? Reading the descriptions of the big shattering body orgasms, they do describe the feelings I get when my penis is rubbed really hard, especially after we've brought my wife off. My back tightens, my legs start to spasm and my stomach tightens. I've tried using my thumb to press on my prostrate but it's rather difficult to do while my wife is stimulating my penis.

    Any comments gratefully received.
  • Onthepath
    Posts: 105
    Hi para,

    Sorry to hear about your situation, but it sounds like your wife is a very special lady and it’s so wonderful to hear that you have a daughter as well!

    If you are getting pleasurable feelings with prostate massage using your fingers, then I would say that the Aneros could work for you. I can’t say whether you can achieve a Super O or not. No one can predict that for anybody. I do have a few questions for you though.

    Do you have any sensation when you rub or press on your perineum? If so, then the perineum tab will provide additional stimulation. If not, then your body may not be able to set up the feedback loop that is created by the simultaneous stimulation of the prostate, perineum, and anus. This feedback loop is what helps to generate and drive orgasmic pleasure. Your body may not be able to set up this loop, but it sounds like you can still experience some pleasure from prostate stimulation.

    I’m assuming from your description that you cannot voluntarily contract your anus. If not, then the natural contractions of the anus and rectum may be enough to move the Aneros. This movement, which can be small and still be effective, is what massages and stimulates those areas that the Aneros is in contact with. Although the manufacturer recommends using anal contractions to manipulate the Aneros, some users are able to get, and prefer to get, pleasurable sensations without doing so. They just lay on their side, back, or stomach, relax, and do nothing at all. Eventually, they start feeling pleasurable sensations.

    In regards to trying to use your thumb to massage your prostrate while your wife is stimulating your penis, if you lie flat on your back, the handle of the Aneros can press into the bed which will put additional pressure on the prostate. Perhaps your wife can provide gentle (very important!) rhythmic downward pressure on your pelvis while stimulating your penis. This would simulate a non-paralyzed man pivoting his hips gently into the bed while the aneros is inserted. You may have to experiment a little here with positions and/or pillows.

    If you haven’t already, I would suggest that you also check out Jack Johnston’s Multiple Orgasm Trigger Protocol at www.multiples.com. This is a method that you and your wife can use without using a physical device such as the Aneros.

    Good luck to you and keep us informed.

    Onthepath
  • para
    Posts: 2
    Hi

    My SOH is the best thing ever to happen to me - other than the birth of our daughter (and that of her half sister). This was after £9k invested in IVF which didn't work!!

    To answer your questions - I think I do get a reaction pressing the perineum - particularily off the loo seat - The spinal chord works in two halves - very wierd at first but if I rub my erect penis my legs will spasm.

    You're right about any voluntary controls - that requires messages from the brain down the spinal chord and that stops at T6 (thorasic vertibrae 6 or 12 down from skull)

    We'll try the experiment pressing down onto my pelvis but it all gets a bit complicated when bits of you have to be moved into position by someone else.

    I'll have a look at Jack Johnston's site...

    Thanks for your help.

    Para
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    Hi Para,

    You've asked a question that I am sure many other paraplegic males would also like a positive answer for. I'm not a doctor or physical therapist but from your description of conditions you seem to have the nerve structures intact to experience some forms of sexual stimulation and gain enjoyment from them. I would view this as a hopeful situation. The Aneros would give you the opportunity to experience hands free prostate stimulation, eliminating the awkward contortions you are now forced to employ, allowing you to more freely experience the good sensations that lead to orgasm.

    I went back and re-read some of the Aneros web site literature and found the following in a paragraph on The Aneros - Description page.
    "Ordinarily when the brain is stimulated either physically (external sexual organ stimulation) or spiritually (emotionally or mentally) the brain sends trigger signals to the nerves responsible for orgasm. It is believed that the Aneros releases those nerves from control by the brain and directly stimulates those nerves resulting in a touch sensitive, pure quality orgasm. Thus, intense, prolonged, multiple orgasms can be achieved by directly stimulating those nerves, eliminating the secondary pathway. Furthermore, when this new method is combined with spiritual stimulation, the orgasm is intensified."

    This would seem to indicate that the manufacturer believes that the direct brain/genital pathway may not be required to experience orgasms. If that is the case then the Aneros may indeed be an alternate pathway for you to experience orgasms again. It would seem that purchasing and trying the Aneros would be a small price to pay for a potentially rewarding experience. You might even be able to get the manufacturer to donate some sample models for testing purposes, if cost is an issue.

    From the description of your inability to exercise control over your anal sphincter muscles, a couple of thoughts come to mind. 1.) Most of the Aneros models have a loop tailpiece that can accomodate a bullet vibrator (also sold on the Aneros site), this would help relieve a need for additional manual manipulation of the model. 2.) It may also be worth while checking out the Slightest Touch electro-stimulation device for increasing nerve stimulation in the genital area.

    If you do decide to try out the Aneros product, it may prove useful in stimulating blood supply to the nerves and tissues surrounding the prostate, possibly re-awakening muscle and nerve groups that have atrophied over the years. If it also proves successful in restoring your ability to experience orgasms that would certainly be wonderful news. That is the kind of news that can provide great hope and encouragement to others facing the same quality of life issues you have been forced to deal with.

    I certainly wish you the best in getting back the ability to achieve an orgasm. If you do go forward with the Aneros, please let us know how it goes, I'm sure others on this site will contribute all the information they can to help you on your journey.
  • hlaser99hlaser99
    Posts: 785
    Hi Para!

    I second Rumel and onthe path . . . very good advice!

    Just a note though: I have an aneros with no P-tab at all and have Dry Orgasms with it, so it isn't totally necessary to have the perineum stimulation???

    I personally would recommend both Aneros and KSMO, as they both lead to multiple, dry orgasms and don't require an erect penis for any of their functions! (as Buster has said: "when erect, the penis just sort of gets in the way during a session") KSMO uses a verbalization to bring about multiple orgasms, so shouldn't be a problem there either!

    Also, ever since I have been "re-wired" I have "chair orgasms" as I call them, which requires nothing but breathing, relaxation and a little concentration...

    IMHO, it only makes sense to me that with the usual time, patience and practice, you could very well have success with this!

    Hope this helps.

    Later, Hlaser
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Para,

    Just to add to what the previous members have said, there are a variety of methods for you to explore that are along the non-ejaculatory path. As Onthepath and Hlaser mentioned, the Key Sound Multiple Orgasm (KSMO) is one of these. I would strongly encourage you to to investigate this. Once again the site is www.multiples.com. You will find a very active forum community over there as well, with many users giving testimonials. I should tell you that I have a strong recollection of one such testimonial by an individual with a history of spinal cord injury. Many of their testimonials and training chats are archived. If you should require more specific information on KSMO you could certainly contact them directly via email.

    After KSMO, the Aneros is another method for you to check out too. It sounds like you've had some good response to prostate stimulation in the past. Although muscle control might make the Aneros more of a static device, it is possible that this stimulation used in conjunction with the proper mental focus and breathing techniques could do the trick for you. KSMO gives a great background in both breathing techniques and mental focus, for this reason, I would advise looking into it first.

    Lastly, I just wanted to say that I was inspired by your comments and if there is anything that I or anyone can do here to further you in this journey....let us know!

    All the best,

    BF Mayfield
  • hulahula
    Posts: 212
    Para, you should try an aneros. It may help. I have read of paras and quads using vibrators to have some type of sexual function. Good luck, and a second to the above posters who comment on how lucky you are to have such a wonderful wife. Good luck on our journey.