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just had first experience
  • hoodleehoo
    Posts: 18
    Very disappointed! I just had a good 45 minute session with my helix which arrived today. I was feeling sexual so I lubed it up and stuck it in. It hurt a bit and never really felt "comfortable". I did the breathing exercises and started slow. Nothing. I wasn't expecting any kind of large orgasm or anything, but I was hoping to feel SOMETHING that felt good. Instead it just felt like something pushing up against my prostate. I made sure the tab was right in the center and everything, it wasn't moving.

    I completely lost whatever arousal there was and I never even had anything close to an erection! :( At the end I even masturbated and it was a pathetic orgasm. What's the deal? I'm a very sensual person and was paying close attention to every little sensation, to which there was never anything good or even remotely pleasant.

    I'm very disappointed. It even burned a little inside. Is my anatomy just not right for this or something?
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    hoodleehoo,
    First time experiences for almost any new and unfamiliar activity are likely to be affected by our expectations, judging from your pre-usage posts to this Forum, I have a feeling that you were in fact expecting "...SOMETHING...", thus your disappointment when your expectations were not met. You stated that you did feel "...something pushing...", "...never anything good or even remotely pleasant." Was there pain? You mentioned that insertion "...hurt a bit...", could this have colored the session negatively? You also mentioned that it "...burned...inside." this is a bit troublesome, I'm not a doctor, but it seems to me burning sensations are typically indicative of irritated nerve endings, perhaps due to a mild infection, aggravation of an injured area, allergic reaction or any number of other causes. You didn't mention what type of lube you were using, but I would first suspect that you were experiencing some sort of reaction to the lube, you might want to try an alternate lube. If you still experience burning sensations maybe a trip to the doctor's office is in order.

    As far as the erection situation goes, many posts indicate that users are not experiencing erections, myself included, you referenced "...erection!" (exclamation point yours), which reinforces my suspicion that you did have expectations, if not consciously, then subliminally.

    Getting comfortable with the P-tab make take some time, I am still not "comforrtable" (i.e. experience any pleasure) with it but I no longer find the pressure it applies as distracting to the experience, and I do see how it provides sensory feedback to reinforce nerve impulses. There are other threads on this Forum which address this issue, I suggest you read them.

    I'm sorry that your first experience with the Aneros was a non-event, to stumble on ones first step upon a longer journey is unfortunate but need not cancel the entire trip. Take heart, there are many users who have endeavored for a long time to get to the Super-O (e.g. follow 'darwins' posts), try to be patient with youself, relax, this is your unique trip, take as long as you need, the learning process can't be forced, especially since you are simultaneously teacher and student. The Forum can provide a lot of advice and information, but YOU will need to assemble that information into a formula that works for YOU.
    Good Vibes to You, 8)
  • hoodleehoo
    Posts: 18
    I wasn't expecting a super o or any specific kind of orgasm. I was ready to relax and enjoy whatever new experiences I felt. But there was no experience at all. It just felt like something was sticking in my bum. When I say burn, I don't mean a bad burn, just the feeling of something in there creating a discomfort.

    Is it really possible to feel absolutely nothing postitive (just felt like getting an exam) at all and eventually to feel something great after doing it enough? Or am I wasting my time because it just doesn't work for me?

    Now there wasn't all THAT much movement. There was some, definitely. But not much. I covered the entire thing (except the tabs) in thick lube before sticking it in.

    All I got was a slightly sore bum. Not a pleasureable thing about it.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    hoodleehoo,
    Of course it's possible to feel "...nothing positive...", your feeling of "...a discomfort." is certainly not positive.
    Did you feel the discomfort as if were the need for a bowel movement? The "sore bum" you experienced, was it from fatigued P.C., anal sphincter or rectal muscles, irritated skin or rectal membranes, perineum pressure?
    Did you try flushing out your rectum with warm water prior to useage? Did you lube internally prior to Aneros insertion?
    As a sensual person you know there is a fine line between pain and pleasure, between pleasant stimulation and irritating stimulation. You are also aware that that line can vary with your physical and psychological states of being. How do you feel about anal play? Your comment about "...exam" suggests some negative feelings about this type of activity, that would certainly impair your ability to enjoy it.
    As far as movement of the Aneros goes, you're right in that it doesn't move very much (remember this is a gentle massager!), the effects are mostly quite delicate and subtle in the beginning until you get further along in the re-wiring process.
    As your own poll shows most men are NOT successful immediately, it can take some time to come to terms with these new experiences. I hope you won't give up too easily, it is worth the effort. I believe that you must first reach some of 'darwin's milestones to get some good feelings first and thence forward to some great feelings.
    Good Vibes to You, 8)
  • hoodleehoo
    Posts: 18
    How do you flush with warm water? No I didn't lube internally, just covered the aneros.

    As far as the soreness, pretty much all the above. I actually like being fingered while fooling around so I'm not opposed to anal play. I've even inserted some toothbrush handles and stuff before.

    It's just hard for me to understand how the feeling could ever change and become something that feels good.
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,195
    hoodleehoo-

    the question you are asking "how could it ever change from nothing to something" is the main mystery of the "rewiring" process.

    but, it does. you are nowhere near alone in having this first experience. (see the milestones in the glossary).

    what i don't know is how predictive a "complete dud" first experience is of how long it will take for you to get to superO. regardless, you need to see each step as interesting, and, while perhaps short of O, very pleasurable.

    at this point your objective is to simply relax with it in there (do some deep breathing) and listen very carefully to your body. you are looking for the first faint hint of something that feels good. then you are going to train your body to grow that hint.

    this is the process of arousal amplification. some guys are lucky and there initial signal is very strong, and grows real quick. others, like me, have to nurture it. we don't know yet where you'll fall on the spectrum.

    darwin
  • hoodleehoo
    Posts: 18
    Thanks Darwin. Where are these milestons? I'd like to read them.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    hoodleehoo,
    Check out the sticky post titled GLOSSARY, by 'darwin', go down the list to read the 'milestones'.