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relax, relax, RELAX
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,193
    (this post was edited 2006-09-28 15:47:41)

    [sorry that i keep editing this post. its just that i get new ideas on what to say]

    to you guys who are trying to make it happen-

    you might be in a somewhat obsessed phase. before i got through the gate, i was. i hung on every word on the forum. i imagined the super-o. i tried every suggestion. i didn't understand why others were succeeding while i wasn't making progress over months and months. i became frustrated and determined and a bit obsessed.

    in my case, it was KSMO at www.multiples.com that helped me.

    but, that's only one way.

    what many of us who have successfully trained ourselves are telling you is: really relax about it. you may be reading the forum every night to find some insight that will push you over. let that go.

    think of the aneros as a deep relaxation device. let go of expectations of any particular experience or super-O. breath deeply and relax, relax, relax with the aneros.

    one way to get a small sense of the power of relaxation is to relax through a traditional ejaculation.

    first learn what relaxing your pelvic floor muscles feels like by noticing that when you urinate (sitting down particularly) there is a slight relaxed drop in the muscles that surround your anus, prostate and bladder. practice relaxing those a bit.

    then, masturbate lying down. get close but don't come. notice that as you approach orgasm you reach for it by tensing those muscles and holding your breath in your chest. you also might tense other muscles.

    finally, masturbate relaxed by:
    - keeping your pelvic floor relaxed and open
    - instead of jerking and tensing as you get closer, keep all your muscles relaxed. express your pleasure by having deeper relaxed breathing
    - don't hold your breath in your chest
    - perhaps let your penis relax into allowing itself to leak
    - continue to orgasm and ejaculation
    - notice how that felt. instead of tensing your way to orgasm, you relaxed and felt 'the orgasm come to you'.

    that is what you need to do with the aneros. relax and let the pleasure come to you.

    apply this to the aneros:
    - have no-goals practice sessions.
    - make them a time of 'relaxation for me'
    - notice your relaxation and any feelings you have
    - try different positions. give them time. don't judge them.
    - don't overthink contracting. perhaps contract a little, perhaps keep your floor relaxed. its not that important.
    - gently follow the flow of any even slightly good feelings
    - give it only a half hour or hour.
    - end before you feel frustrated or desperate. (important)
    - don't end your session with traditional stimulation or ejaculation. wait till the next day. let the feelings of the aneros, however slight, linger for a day.
    - wait a bunch of days till the next session.
    - be guided to your next session by a natural feeling of desire for your 'me time' (not by a goal)
    - let your body integrate slowly.

    about 'no-goals' sessions. there is one goal that i suspect many have: 'this session will finally be the one in which i make big progress or break through to orgasm.' that is a good goal to not bring to your session.

    yes, it might take days and days, or weeks and weeks, or months and months to learn. you are training your body to do something really new... dry orgasms. it may be a slow process. it's ok for you to take a long time. let go of comparing yourself to others.

    enjoy each slight pleasure with the aneros for what it is. that relaxed enjoyment will improve when you least expect it, perhaps when you have given up.

    do not have expectations. do not have a schedule. pretend you have not read the hype on the forum. accept your time with the aneros for what it is.

    give the aneros a place next to the other things in your life, not in front of them. this will help you relax about it.

    these suggestions may strike some of you as 'touchy-feely.' if you've seen my other posts, i think you'll find that i have no interest in touchy-feely. my interest is in pushing the envelope with my sexuality, and to help you with what i learned along the way. for those of you who like it rough, you can't bully your body into re-wiring. re-wire first, get rough second.

    darwin


  • TripperTripper
    Posts: 250
    Darwin,

    Thanks for your excellent advice! Knowing the forum is a vehicle for mutual learning, I have always wanted to know more about the connection between KSMO and the Aneros. Last week I downloaded Johnston's MP3 audio tapes and alas!...even looked at their forum a bit. I saw a few of your postings there as well. And, I know Mayfield has recommended a number of times the use of KSMO.

    Could you take some time and map out by post in this thread or a new one your personal take on the connection between the Aneros, KSMO, and relaxation? I would be appreciative of any effort you made.

    Already from the KSMO forum I see that for those that are envolved with the Aneros, the recommendation is not to use the Aneros and the KSMO technique at the same time but on alternate/different days....if I understood the KSMO forum correctly. It does look like the end objective is the same.....MMO, "echoes", etc.

    Anyway, for learning purposes and for everyone's mutual goal, if you are able to provide inputs to us Newbies ....that would be great.

    Many thanks,

    Tripper
  • charliecharlie
    Posts: 124
    Great post Darwin!
    I hope that those of you who may be frustrated read and reread Darwin's advice. Remember that this is a journey of self exploration and that it will take time and experimentation. Good Luck to all,
    Charlie
  • Edit
    Posts: 0

    Originally Posted By: darwin
    (this post was edited 2006-09-28 15:47:41)

    [sorry that i keep editing this post. its just that i get new ideas on what to say]

    to you guys who are trying to make it happen-

    you might be in a somewhat obsessed phase. before i got through the gate, i was. i hung on every word on the forum. i imagined the super-o. i tried every suggestion. i didn't understand why others were succeeding while i wasn't making progress over months and months. i became frustrated and determined and a bit obsessed.

    in my case, it was KSMO at www.multiples.com that helped me.

    but, that's only one way.

    what many of us who have successfully trained ourselves are telling you is: really relax about it. you may be reading the forum every night to find some insight that will push you over. let that go.

    think of the aneros as a deep relaxation device. let go of expectations of any particular experience or super-O. breath deeply and relax, relax, relax with the aneros.

    one way to get a small sense of the power of relaxation is to relax through a traditional ejaculation.

    first learn what relaxing your pelvic floor muscles feels like by noticing that when you urinate (sitting down particularly) there is a slight relaxed drop in the muscles that surround your anus, prostate and bladder. practice relaxing those a bit.

    then, masturbate lying down. get close but don't come. notice that as you approach orgasm you reach for it by tensing those muscles and holding your breath in your chest. you also might tense other muscles.

    finally, masturbate relaxed by:
    - keeping your pelvic floor relaxed and open
    - instead of jerking and tensing as you get closer, keep all your muscles relaxed. express your pleasure by having deeper relaxed breathing
    - don't hold your breath in your chest
    - perhaps let your penis relax into allowing itself to leak
    - continue to orgasm and ejaculation
    - notice how that felt. instead of tensing your way to orgasm, you relaxed and felt 'the orgasm come to you'.

    that is what you need to do with the aneros. relax and let the pleasure come to you.

    apply this to the aneros:
    - have no-goals practice sessions.
    - make them a time of 'relaxation for me'
    - notice your relaxation and any feelings you have
    - try different positions. give them time. don't judge them.
    - don't overthink contracting. perhaps contract a little, perhaps keep your floor relaxed. its not that important.
    - gently follow the flow of any even slightly good feelings
    - give it only a half hour or hour.
    - end before you feel frustrated or desperate. (important)
    - don't end your session with traditional stimulation or ejaculation. wait till the next day. let the feelings of the aneros, however slight, linger for a day.
    - wait a bunch of days till the next session.
    - be guided to your next session by a natural feeling of desire for your 'me time' (not by a goal)
    - let your body integrate slowly.

    about 'no-goals' sessions. there is one goal that i suspect many have: 'this session will finally be the one in which i make big progress or break through to orgasm.' that is a good goal to not bring to your session.

    yes, it might take days and days, or weeks and weeks, or months and months to learn. you are training your body to do something really new... dry orgasms. it may be a slow process. it's ok for you to take a long time. let go of comparing yourself to others.

    enjoy each slight pleasure with the aneros for what it is. that relaxed enjoyment will improve when you least expect it, perhaps when you have given up.

    do not have expectations. do not have a schedule. pretend you have not read the hype on the forum. accept your time with the aneros for what it is.

    give the aneros a place next to the other things in your life, not in front of them. this will help you relax about it.

    these suggestions may strike some of you as 'touchy-feely.' if you've seen my other posts, i think you'll find that i have no interest in touchy-feely. my interest is in pushing the envelope with my sexuality, and to help you with what i learned along the way. for those of you who like it rough, you can't bully your body into re-wiring. re-wire first, get rough second.

    darwin



    Hi Darwin,

    This is one of the most sane and encouraging posts I've ever read - either here, or on Jack's KSMO site. It's spot on, and it works: makes everything available. Like your nursing trick, it's gentle.

    TANTROS