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  • empiresempires
    Posts: 10
    I'm having trouble with the relaxation part of all this. I can't seem to do the contractions in sync with my breathing and relax my mind all at the same time. My mind is struggling to keep the breathing and contractions coordinated. I also have a hell of a time keeping interested and focused. It's hard to keep trying after an hour of nothing, especially when I don't feel turned on at all. I don't even know what my question is, i'm just lost.
  • BusterBuster
    Posts: 953
    Hi Empires,

    My initial gut reaction to your post is that you are trying too hard. I will try to explain. There are some exceptional posts here that describe the techniques that are successful for others. I have got to tell you that from personal experience, there is more than one way to get there. I believe that the relaxation part is pretty key in the journey. I would try to worry a bit less about the breathing/contraction combination. I dont know how long you have been at it, but I suggest that perhaps you spend some time with your eyes closed and do no contractions at all for a while. Have some wild fantasies go through your head and after a bit, the contractions will almost come automatically. I found that some of my best waves of pleasure come about when I am almost holding my breath. That is completely different than what has been talked about here in most postings. When you really pay attention to what others are saying about how they got to their success, you will find that there are some real differences to what people are doing and in what position. Some watch porn, I find it distracting.

    It is a seperate combination for different people. The time that you are putting into this project is your way of finding what works for you. You are saying that the breathing/contraction combination is not effective, so it could be time to try something new.

    I hope that might help. When you get frustrated, just come on back to this forum and you will find someone else who is going through the same thing. You'll get there, dont worry.

    Have a great day.

  • empiresempires
    Posts: 10
    Thank you so much for the advice Buster, I must say that this is by far the most pleasant and helpful forum I've ever been on. Everyone is so kind and communal.

    I will try again tonight, this time with a much less strict mindset. Thanks again.
  • I have found that paying any attention to breathing at all is far too distracting. I let myself breath naturally and focus on the sensations of the device poking and prodding around. You will know when it hits the spot. We are all different, but I find that totally relaxing, with a slight outward push usually gets the thing rubbing the correct area. Once you hit it, your body will take care of it on its own. You may at first not even notice any motion. Some people say they have wild contractions, and although I have had them, they never resulted in much of anything. It is the slow, subtle movements that pushed me over. Just pay attention to what feels good and keep trying.