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Yes, relaxing is difficult, do you know why?
  • TommyTommy
    Posts: 1
    Hi, and thanks to all who so kindly share their experiences on this forum, it sure has helped me a lot. I still haven't experienced the 'Super-O' though, but I'm confident.

    Questions first.

    When reaching this 'final phase' where ejaculation feels imminent, I most often unconsciously hold my breath, and when I suddenly realize this I try to start breathing again - but then the feeling subsides...

    So.. Should I try to maintain a rhytmic breathing all the way to and over the top or should I give in to this breath-holding? It doesn't seem to take me any further... (I am wondering if this holding of my breath simply won't bring the area enough oxygen for the 'Super-O' to take place.)

    I would appreciate some tips regarding the breathing in general.

    Secondly, when the contractions (which will feel more and more like they evolve in the rectal area) get stronger, should I still try to maintain the 25% contraction level or should I just completely try to relax all muscles? If I *completely* relax, my experience is that the aneros will eventually just stop and the feelings subside...

    And finally, is there a distinct big RELEASE when I reach the 'Super-O'? Or will I just *gradually* feel better and better? And will my body necessarily start twitching and turning, or will I be able to have this 'Super-O' with little or no twitching? I don't seem to move or twitch very much during the whole session, exept clinging on to my sheet as I reach the final stage.

    And now some comments.

    I want to mention a couple of things that has helped me on my way. Relaxation is of course the most important one, and is often mentioned here on the forums.

    However, I am not sure all people understand why relaxing is so important - and - *so difficult*! As I see it, the problem for a beginner is that with every new Aneros session new feelings may occur. There are a number of new feelings you have to be able to relax through before reaching the 'Super-O'. And although you may feel completely relaxed and determined when you start, as soon as these new feelings appear you will subconsciously stop to relax and start thinking 'Oh my god, it is working, I think I am almost there!' Then you concentrate too much on just that, and although you may think you still do you simply won't relax enough any more.

    My experience is that I will need several sessions to get used to (and be able to relax through) every new feeling. To put it very simple, if my body has to go through ten different stages/feelings to reach the 'Super-O', and I need five sessions to adapt to each feeling, I will need 50 sessions to get to the top.

    Realizing this made it easier to adopt to the new feelings as I knew the 'Super-O' might *NOT* be just around the corner, but that I had to use this (and maybe many more) session(s) to get used to this particular feeling before I would be able to move on. But the number of feelings I now 'master' is slowly but continuously increasing, and that makes room for new ones. Which in turn might need several more sessions to be able to relax through and get past.

    The good thing is that the process will speed up with every session. The feelings I have already adapted to will need no more thought, thus making me able to relax through them, and allowing my brain to quickly bring me back to 'where I was'. I have to start each session by thinking that I am going to work on some new feelings (or continue where i left) instead of thinking 'Tonight I am *really* going to relax all the way!'. I just won't be able to.

    I think one more important factor that makes relaxation difficult (as pointed out numerous times in the forum) is the fact that one is used to regular masturbation/intercourse; Here the feelings we experience on our way to ejaculation are obviously already known, but also worth noting (or maybe not!) is that in this case we *know* that we will be getting a release in the end! Although the release itself might not be ecstatic it helps us to relax and enjoy the entire session. But for beginners, with the Aneros, you are not guaranteed a release. Knowing this can make the process very very frustrating. The feelings would have been sooo good if you *knew* that they were to end up in a release. This is just how it is. This *is* difficult to cope with. So, while you of course may imagine and look forward to the 'Super-O', keep in mind that it might not show up before you are able to relax through another ten feelings or so.

    So, now I am almost there, at least I think I am... :) I might just need some more time being able to relax through this particular stage, but although I can now easily reach this stage, I have not yet been able to get past it. I have been at this stage for a while now, and every time I feel like i just need *a little* more pressure on the prostate, and *a little* more pressure on the PPP, and I would have the 'Super-O'. Frustrating, sure is, but my hope is that this is the last stage and that it just takes a little more time to adapt to than the earlier stages (which had less 'difficult' feelings).

    Wow, I was just going to write a few lines, I hope I didn't waste your time. I know most of this has already been covered in the forums, but I just wanted to emphasise that relaxation IS difficult, and why many people seem to be able to relax just up to a certain point/feeling. You will probably just need to experience that particular feeling enough times before you can relax through it and be able to move on (to the next one, and eventually, to the 'Super-O').

    Comments would be appreciated!

  • BusterBuster
    Posts: 953
    Hi Tommy,

    Even though posts similar in nature have appeared before, as new guys come into the arena, it is good for them to see posts like yours. Which, by the way, was good in its description of what you go through. I have not been able to achieve it either after 4 months. Sometimes I think it will never happen for me, then I think that because I feel that way, it just might happen. That starts the cycle over again.

    I have enjoyed reading through the thread of Zaneblue, Pan and BF and I can see how much further ahead they are in their journey than I. I look forward to the posts for 1st time Super O's achievers because it reinforces what we are trying to accomplish.

    I am about to be forced into a 3 week exile (house guests) from the process so maybe that will help as well. You never know what is going to do the trick. I will certainly be monitoring how everyone is doing.

    To The Journey.

  • KCsmoothKCsmooth
    Posts: 7
    I couldn't agree more with this post. As a new user, I have had major breakthroughs each time I've used the Helix. Part of the breakthrough is learning from each session. So many of the sensations are new, and one doesn't know how to respond to them. Relaxing is such a key and with every session and knowledge of sensations it makes for a better and better experience.

    I'm a real believer in managing expectations. I believe the higher expectation the higher the disappointment. I do believe that people purchase the Aneros with the expectation that things are going to happen and happen quickly. In unique situations, that could happen. However, for most of us it will take time and patience. Our society is so concerned with immediate gratification and results, that we don't allow ourselves time to learn and enjoy.

    This forum has been a very useful tool and I continue to learn everytime I read the other posts.

    The only piece of advice that I can offer is ....relax. Relax while using the Aneros....and your expectations. Things will happen. I hope people don't read this as pontificating, just offering a new user's perspective
  • BusterBuster
    Posts: 953