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So confused and disapointed, what's happened here?
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    Ok so having an aneros less session (my first pretty much) and watching some nice porn etc, pics, I then after a time feel a build up, different to normal and think I'm about to have a dry o (finally) Then.... I ejaculate everywhere! :-( I was on my side and legs together, tensing muscles in my prostate gently, soft contractions etc.

    Normally this gets nice sensations (with aneros and less so without one) but this time it made me have an average, traditional, dulled and boring orgasm. My legs were very, very midly tensed. (They always are no matter what?) I think I've wired myself badly because this has been what's happening to me for months, I used to have to tense my legs with an aneros (quite hard mind you) in and I would ejaculate (a dull poor orgasm), the same way and now my body is trained so that when I do a-less and sessions with aneros I cum the boring way! Even if doing mild things.

    I was worried my impatience on my journey had damaged my progress permanently, seems my fears were justified! (I haven't done hard tensing of legs in months). The built up was SO different to normal as well, and this happens! It's like a cruel joke! All you guys posted about your 3 super o's and how you can reach them in 10 mins!!! It's such a harsh blow this.

    It's my fault and I've ruined things! This isnt normal, it CANT BE NORMAL. it always seems no matter how my legs are, lying down etc, they are always in some way, tensed. This means I can't ever have p-waves, mini os, dry o,s or super o's, I'm so confused and upset
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,172
    @inhope, so basically these are hands free ejaculation orgasms?  No penile stimuation at all?  Not even incidental rubbing on your leg?  If thats the case then I think you just need to relax more.  Something is tensing up inside way too much to cause ejaculation.  Also when I do a-less sessions I usually do nothing, no contractions, maybe try that way next time.  Your not ruined.  If you have inadvertantly trained your body this way you can unlearn it, it just takes time and effort, and lots of practice.  Have you ever tried the position where you lay on the floor flat on your back and rest your legs on a chair seat or sofa?  Give that a try  ;)
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    I've tried it all mate, no penis touching or stimulation at all, hence why i thought dry o from prostate. i could f**king cry. I WAS relaxed.

    Penis wasn't even thought about (though erect and I'm sure creating tension between my contractions when being held and its erect state, hence the orgasm) i just don't understand, i feel further way than ever before. Imagine the scene: thinking about about to do it and get what I've worked so hard for over a 4 year period and then ejaculating it all away! gutted is not the word.

    I have been making such progress, though I've not had those all day mini o's or random feeling during a session during aneros less stuff. How hell can you have orgasms without contracting muscles WITHOUT an aneros!? sorry thats not possible!
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,172
    @inhope, all i can say is practice more.  Usually during my sessions in the beginning or when things get feeling really good i get extremely hard and my dick will bounce from my muscle pulsing (i assume the pc muscle causes this) which is extremely distracting me from my prostate pleasure.  But just recently I realized i could stop this bouncing/pulsing from happening by just concentrating harder and harder on my prostate and not my dick.  It takes time and concentration but it can be done.
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    I must admit my penis was very hard and i was very turned on, but i didn't feel anything in my penis at all, just in my prostate? the fluid when it came out was defiantly more 'clear' as well, i thought it may have been milking the prostate in some way? i just don't know anymore, its so complicated and i don't understand anymore i feel.

    I can try what you say but its hard (lol pun!) when you need to be turned on and yet NOT have an erection. The hell? So porn is obviously bad for me....
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,172
    @inhope, its possible that your prostate was being milked.  I'm not saying you cant be hard, but the point is just dont focus on your dick, forget you even have one.
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    thats the thing dude, i wasn't! i wasn't thinking of having sex with anyone or anything just that the pleasure was building! (and that the pics were erotic) also if using sexy pics or whatever to focus on, how can your dick not be hard? that makes no sense.


  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,172
    @inhope, its usually hard, really hard, but by not focusing on it, the pumping/pulsing stops.  
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 776
    @inhope --- Wait a friggen minute...in the course of a few days, you've gone from elation over some significant sensations to a total 180 degree turn to complete despondency! I realize that this has been a long road for you, but the extreme swings from good to bad are just not productive toward your long term success!

    You heard from someone else whose journey has also taken a long time, but he stuck with it...and you stated, earlier last week I believe, that you were pleased with what you had that day...but now you've thrown all that out the window because you had a hands free wet orgasm that you brought on while practicing some new techniques?

    If you want to make progress, I would encourage you to take the bad with the good and keep moving!

    While I have had many successes, I have my share of bad days, but the good days come back!

    We are ALL rooting for you and behind you and want to see you succeed, but a self-defeatist attitude and negative dialogue will ensure you continue to be frustrated!

    Stay positive my friend!

    TG
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    Well, I'm devastated because i was finally getting somewhere,  this is what i was going through during the session:

    - no pulsing in penis
    - no focus on penis
    - no thoughts of sex or cuming through penis (or cumming at all)
    - prostate swelling
    - feelings building in prostate
    - super positive and not expecting an orgasm or to even feel anything, just to see what feelings i could sense

    That all resulted in a crap ejaculaiton! i am still going to keep going but this has knocked me for six! truly weird!, i don't mind a dud session but this is... worse? its re-wiring me... badly? (I'm sure this is my own doing though with the whole leg tensing thing i was doing, god only knows what i was thinking, probably out of desperation)  

    @Theme_Gasm: you have more good days than bad yes? its the other way round for me, even my good days are just 'some nice feelings' if i had got those when i first had the aneros i would have been angry! I'm not angry these days when i do have those semi-pleasant feelings (RARE by the way)
     because of the 4 years of trying I finally feeling 'something'! i thought it would build on that progress, not go backwards like its done here...?

    Anyway I think i need to:

    - not watch anything erotic even if it does mean sessions last 10 mins cus i get bored and the feelings stop
    - focus on not getting an erection, even though the visualisations i need to have will mean invariably getting one (even when i don't when i get that 'heat' in my prostate that gives me a huge boner, aroused or not!)
    - Contract muscles inside in combination with 'doing nothing' and trying out different muscle groups etc
    - Somehow stop my legs feeling tense, even when they're relaxed, they're tense. Don't know why, don't know how to stop it. Surely thats normal in some way?

    Im not looking to moan I'm looking for things to try, but once again here i am once again asking questions where there is nobody else experiencing the same issues I'm having, thus making it difficult for anyone to give advice or even to comfort me in any way or to help shape my progress.

    This is the story of EVERYTHING I've ever done in my life, I'm sick to death of it!
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 922
    @inhope, you are not being very helpful to me at least! You are having better experiences than I am, I would give my 'eye teeth' for a hands free Ej that you describe. That would be a huge step for me. I would continue to enjoy it UNTIL I move on from that level. When you implode it really buggers me up. But I continue to enjoy the step I am on. I believe it is cumulative, like a ladder. You can't get to the third rung if you have smashed up rungs two and one. If you were 85 I would worry because you would be running out of time but you are young and if you can get yourself together there is a great journey ahead.
    If you really are 'sick to death of it' then walk away from Aneros, give it a break. To become obsessed with expectations are you are becoming will really mess things up for you.
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    Wait, you WANT to ejaculate hands free and when doing so have an orgasm so stifled that it just feels like you're peeing? And you want that OVER a super o? Wow ok...

    I guess nobody gives a toss about answering my previous post, I also guess you're sick of my moaning (don't blame any of you on either point), well I am sick of it too! You try being where I've been for 4 years, see how much moaning you end up doing.

    Ive identified 3 things that work for me (THIS is why I got stuck for 4 years of nothing because nobody told me how to try each session):

    - a session of doing nothing, yields hard erection and plateau of pleasure that is fairly ok, some echo effects after session

    - a session of micro movements/tensing which generates prostate heat and then stops after a few mins

    - a session of tensing for 10-20 secs each time, same as above but recently found out it makes me cum traditionally

    If youre all rooting for me then please tell me what you do in your sessions, what works? A combo of the above yields confusion for my body. I've had 4 sessions since I had a good one and so far had nothing but duds, total inconsistency as well (what worked previous session no longer works in subsequent ones)

    Please for the love of god, tell me what you do in your sessions!
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 776
    @inhope --- I'm going to leave you to your own decisions, but with one last thought...or two...

    Appreciate any and all good sensations...forget about the undesirable results...just try something different. I honestly doubt that there is something wrong with you, only that your self-talk that's causing you grief!

    Best of luck.

    TG
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    @theme_gasm no I need the help, and will try what you are suggesting, I just needed to vent and I'm SO puzzled me why I'm so unique in this? What makes my body different? Use of the aneros has made me like this, or perhaps people sharing their amazing stories has me thirsting after the same.

    I have learned to appreciate all good sensations, but... They are so fleeting it's hard to tell when I get them, except once!

    Anyway, I don't know what to try now, I've done it all? I've made a post asking for how others have their sessions to get ideas but I am OUT of them as it stands. But once again I ask you to take a look at what works for me above, can you explain why you think they worked, very well, then not work again?

    Again, why am I so unique?
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 776
    Quite candidly...you've received all the advice you need. You have access to all the archives, all the same wiki pages...etc...

    At this point it's not up to anybody else to analyze what you're doing, or not doing, except yourself! You've been given many great suggestions, which are all up for personal interpretation and revision to suit you and your tastes and it's your decision about how, or if, to proceed further!

    You may need to take an extended timeout and try again in several months, but I personally wouldn't continue if I felt as frustrated as you describe. But, I would fall back and regroup and consider evaluating other parts of my life in case there may be other stresses causing me frustration. Just my two cents!

    Best of luck buddy! You will persevere eventually!

    TG
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    Ok just one thing I want to say here.

    In 4 years I've not even had a dry o, let alone a super o.

    That is funny now I say it out loud!

    I've had pain from using the aneros, jealousy, rage, fear and now puzzlement? (I'm scared now that each time I get a build up,it's just another crappy ejaculation on it's way, seriously has nobody else had this happen? It was so unexpected!)


    However.


    I won't give up, not ever.

    Help me to do this and I will be the biggest advocate of aneros in the universe.

    @Theme_gasm. What advice do you refer to? The aneros wiki advice does not work for me, you mean the threads by b mayfield? I ask you kindly to share the archives that have guides in if not those (would really appreciate that)

    Just an example re the wiki: it mentions anal and rectal contractions, I cannot understand the difference, they both mean the same thing! Is anal stronger? Like when you can feel your whole 'bum' move? Is anal the sphincter 'hole'? Needs explaining better IMO, later on it states anal as being pushing out? What? That means pushing the device out of you?

    Same goes for the 'low level contraction for the entire session 'part, does that mean a contraction you hold for 100% of the session?
  • ThrusterThruster
    Posts: 52
    inhope, you wrote, "This is the story of EVERYTHING I've ever done in my life, I'm sick to death of it!"

    To add to all the other good suggestions here, I suggest that you explore and address the underlying issues behind such a sweeping negative self-assessment, then return to your Aneros activities later with renewed vitality.  If I'm right (though it ain't necessarily so), the key to your puzzle might not have anything to do at all with the Aneros experience.  Reach out to those who love you, and sincerely listen to what they have to say.  The good news is that you might actually be a lot closer to a breakthrough than it may seem to you at the moment.
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    Just made a new thread which states a few points. One of which is that my life other wise is good, but it is because of my aneros strangeness that I'm as frustrated and depressed as I am. Nothing else. But giving up would be even worse.

    Today for example I was happy, expecting nothing and focusing on my prostate, getting somewhere and feeling great, then I ejaculate and it goes against everything the wiki says, or what others here say.

    If I could find ONE other person that has been through what I've had today, or any of the other odd and unheard of issues I've experienced (precum when pooing, when I need to poo I get better prostate feelings than when using aneros, ejaculating when not possible to, defying the laws of psychics etc) I would actually consider that enough to keep moving forward with positivity. Like I said I've had to fight my whole life, now I would like not to have to and to have something just work without unbelievable struggle and obscure oddness that I'm alone in experiencing! It makes it hard to figure what just happened and what to do next, or what to avoid as well.
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,172
    @inhope, setbacks are going to happen, just deal with it.  Move forward.  Not everyone on here has great sessions everyday, duds and mishaps happen to all of us.  So your unique in the sense that you have HFWO, deal with it and move on.  You said you've been fighting for what you have your whole life, keep fighting.  This is a journey, not a destination.  Not all of us on here have the same path to pleasure.  Different things work for different people, your path is the one YOU find.  All we can do is guide you on what has worked for others, we cant show you "your" path.
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 776
    @ ineverknew --- Well stated.

    TG
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,410
    @Theme_Gasm, @ineverknew & @Thruster I think you guys are spot on!

    @inhope, I've read and followed your posts from the very beginning of your participation here on the Forum. It seems to me your problem is not technique or lube or Aneros model. It is attitude and thought processes! You are saying essentially the same things you said in your very first post here more than a year ago. You received more than 50 responses in that thread, 5 of them from me alone. I think everything I said in those posts is still applicable now. It is your choice to keep thinking the same way and achieving the same results or change your thinking and change your results. I sincerely hope you can make the paradigm shift in thinking necessary to turn your path around.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    Rumel: thanks dude, my problem really only is thus: knowing what to do, each session one thing usually kills it, but it changes every session I have, it's inconsistent. It's hard to savour each session when I feel nothing though, literally zero, which is 70% of my sessions.

    Last night i decided to try an old technique, I tensed hard and held it. I got increased heart rate, a build up and shakes etc. but this killed it in the end, this is what damaged things last time I'm sure... It's confusing! What I lack is consistency of reaction,unlike all of you whom seem to find what works, I have lots of things that work in a small way but ultimately kill the feelings after a time.

    Eg: the day I did a session on my side, did lots of small micro movements and got mini o or pwaves all day. Repeated that session since many times, never even got 1% of that day again. Why such a vast difference?

    For now I need to know one thing, tensing hard: will this effect my progress in the do nothing approach? Or numb my prostate?

    Once I have this answer I'm going to stop posting on the forums and spend some months exploring (I just want to make sure I don't damage my progress or actually damage my prostate, like I did in the early days because of a lack of restraint/understanding)
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008
    @inhope,

    In response to your last question, the answers to both parts are "probably not"!

    Please read my response to your latest post in your thread "Aneros device use and how you do your sessions". That response might be more appropriate in this thread!

    Good Luck!