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My first dry O
  • ctusserctusser
    Posts: 95
    Well, a little after a month of doing this I finally had a climax. With my wife next to me working on her iPad I began a session. I started out very slow and noticed some nice sensations, I continued to ride this plateau for quite a while with very subtle movements. After about an hour of this I began some firm contractions and felt a very focused pleasure point as the device firmly contacted the prostate. A feeling of pleasure, energy and excitement began to build throughout my body. It continued to build until I had an adrenaline rush and a wave of energy wash over me, which left my entire body tingling. After which my wife looked down at me from her work and asked me if I was alright. I was breathing heavily, sweating and trembling. I explained the experience to her the best I could and she told me she was jealous that she couldn't do that for me, but admitted that she sometimes has those kinds of orgasms and that they are wonderful. I was still feeling pleasurable sensations so I continued the contractions for a while and wondered if I was going to have another one. I didn't and the intensity subsided but I can see the potential here. I got up, removed and cleaned the toy but was still feeling aroused. So I got a cum towel and sat back next to my wife in preparation to masturbate; she told me she wanted to do that for me and gave me an amazing slow and sensual hand job.

    Afterward this opened up a dialogue with my wife and I about our insecurities and anxieties about our sex life. I admitted I was sometimes jealous about her sex toys too, and am often anxious about my ability and performance. We both grew from this experience and will have a greater sense of ease and comfort within ourselves and with each other in regard to our lovemaking. Overall it was a great experience of physical pleasure, and an emotional growing experience for my wife and I. Thanks to all in this community for your understanding, patience and support to us impatient and ignorant new members. I still have a lot of growing to do and progress to make, but look forward to every minute of it.
  • MMO_RPGlolMMO_RPGlol
    Posts: 242
    That's really great. Awesome progress!
    In my experience, communication with a SO can help facilitate growth: in your relationship with your wife, and in your progress with the aneros.

    If you aren't already, I would suggest you read the book 'The multiorgasmic man' by Mantak chia. It gets mentioned on these forums quite a bit, but it really is a great book.

    Everything in that book is complementary to your aneros progress. It also might help you satisfy you and your wife's desires more by teaching you techniques to be multiorgasmic in the context of conventional sex. This might make your wife feel more valuable because she feels like she can pleasure you more:) it will also help you pleasure her better too, so its a win win!

    Just something to think about:)
  • ctusserctusser
    Posts: 95
    I do have that book and must admit I became frustrated with it because I was never able to achieve a dry orgasm through masterbation. I think most of my anxieties stem from PTSD regarding sexual abuse issues rather than poor performance, as my wife often wishes I wouldn't take as long as I do already.
  • JMay
    Posts: 113
    The thing is that it's very important to separate both sensations, orgasm and ejaculation, and recognize each excitation phase through them. There are some feelings that relate to ejaculation in each phase, the more you can separate those feelings from pleasure, the more you'll be able to hold them back when you reach orgasm. It feels like holding back on something good, but only in the beginning, later on you should have had reached much higher levels of orgasmic pleasure that will make it seem like a waste not holding back (and it is!). It becomes a natural part of you after some times and it just feels at most, like a small bump in the road when holding back ejaculation. You actually hold back a few seconds and then let go, other times when you're really inspired lol, you can reach orgasm without having to hold back on anything. Play with your breath, you'd be amazed to know how much it helps until you've really tried it. You need not only strong muscles but also a strong will at first, to not fall into ejaculation, later on it becomes a natural ability.

    By the way, start peeing while standing on your toes, if you can relax enough to pee while holding that position, you can relax enough while having orgasm as to not ejaculate. This is because both movements are connected due to a bad habit of ejaculating every time you masturbate (tensing your legs while having an orgasm and ejaculating every time, which is better held back by relaxing as though you were peeing). That excercise will help you make those movements independent of each other, which will grant you more control over what happens (that is orgasm and not ejaculation).
  • AneRico
    Posts: 214
    Congratulations, Ctusser!

    I'm happy for you.
  • ctusserctusser
    Posts: 95
    @JMay. Thanks for the tips. I'm going to keep trying. Tonight I practiced some tantric masterbation, very slow, took over an hour to climax and was practicing your suggestions. I was really relaxed and belly breathing, but when the orgasm hit the muscles involved contracted involuntarily and resulted in ejaculation. More to learn and more to practice I suppose.