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Identifying Facilitators to Progress
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    Hi Guys,

    A couple of years ago I wrote a post titled Identifying Obstacles to Progress. This post and thread, will hopefully present ideas for the flip side of that older post. Namely, how and what techniques can facilitate one's progress toward achieving Super-O's. Obviously, due to the uniqueness of the Aneros journey, every man will not find each item of the following list a facilitator. For those of you who haven't yet crossed over, but don't quite know why, here is a list of some of the facilitators identified by your fellow travelers in this personal journey. This list is by no means exhaustive or in any particular order, nor does it imply everyone will find these ideas useful, it is meant to help you enhance progress along your path. Once you have resolved your previous blockage(s), you are in a position to take positive action toward heightened pleasure states and Super-O's.

    In Identifying Obstacles to Progress, I listed a dozen general categories of obstacles - 1.) Relaxation 2.) Expectations 3.) Fears 4.) Mind Noise 4.) Impatience 6.) Arousal 7.) Attitude & Beliefs 8.) Health Issues 9.) Erroneous Knowledge 10.) Pain 11.) Obsessive Thinking & 12.) Non-Acceptance. As one can see two thirds of those categories (items #2,3,4,5,7,9, 11 & 12) were directly related to mental aspects of the journey and the remaining one third (items #1, 6, 8 & 10) are quasi-related to mental processes. For most men, it is overcoming the mental obstacles which opens the doors to the Super-O experience. For the purposes of this discussion I am going to assume you've already largely resolved those identified obstacles and they are no longer holding you back. When you've accomplished that you can "Just Let Go !" and enter zoneros.

    1.) Arousal is a key component leading to Super-O sessions. Most men learn at any early age that they can force an ejaculatory orgasm to occur through intense physical stimulation of their penis despite low levels of physical/mental arousal. This learning becomes deeply ingrained and reinforced through years of repeated conditioning, unfortunately this technique/approach will NOT work to generate Super-O's and a man needs to learn alternative methods to get into the Super-O zoneros. The old mental scripts need to be set aside and a new script written.

    The new script requires you to develop and build your body's arousal levels, this is more than acknowledging your ego's desire to experience pleasure, it is about tuning into your body and listening to its subtle language of desire. Your body is simply NOT going to be ready to release its sensual orgasmic energy (perform) based on egotistical demands, this is about nurturing your libido and having your body (and sub conscious mind) as desirous of pleasure as your conscious mind. While physical stimulation is certainly a part of this process, it is not the dominant part and your Aneros massager is only a part of the physical stimulation aspect. I believe it was 'BF Mayfield' who originally said that the Aneros was a better arousal amplifier than an arousal generator, this is very true. Your Aneros acts like a catalyst to facilitate a much more complex chain of events leading to the Super-O but in and of itself plays a rather minor part.

    So how does one go about building this arousal? In this internet connected world, the ready availability of video pornography is frequently cited as a generative source and indeed you can find pornography depicting nearly any type of sexual practice or fetish you can imagine. This may be the most popular form of arousal generation though it may not be the best. Reading erotic literature is another form of arousal generation that can spark one's imagination and fantasy to enhance the physical/emotional buildup. Taoist practices of refraining from ejaculation are also cited as arousal generation methods (see Aneros, Arousal & Abstinence & Are you "aroused"? for related discussion).

    Merely being in the presence of a lover or desirable partner can generate arousal as you subconsciously pick up pheromones, you clue into the unspoken body language of flirtation, even minor physical contact can take on erotic implications leading to arousal generation. The planning and preparation for an upcoming Anerosession can contribute to your arousal as well, the anticipation and care you put into setting up your environment and preparing your body should add to your excitement. If these seem to be tedious tasks then you are not sufficiently aroused to have a good session.

    The point I am trying to make here is that you are far more likely to reach a Super-O by starting your session highly aroused than you will by thinking that you can simply insert your Aneros, perform some contractions and cross into orgasmic bliss. That may happen for a rare few but it is not the norm. Whatever means you use to increase arousal can only help improve your chances of obtaining a Super-O. Providing yourself with an environment of privacy and sufficient time will allow this heightened arousal to work its best magic.

    2.) Sensuality - Developing and using all of your senses before and during an Anerosession will facilitate your journey. Your arousal level and mood are greatly affected by your sensual states. Setting up your personal environment to optimize your Anerosession is another important factor. Employing measures to engage all your senses in the sensual pampering of your body will prove worthwhile, you need to learn how to seduce your own body to unlock the Super-O therein.
    a.) Touch - Obviously the stimulating effects of physical touch play an important part of the excitement leading to orgasmic states. In addition to the normal erogenous hot spots, you should explore your entire body to find your other particularly sensitive areas for stimulation. Mapping all these areas of your body will give you multiple options for stimulation and will help to avoid desensitizing any one particular area. Practice varying the intensity (pressure) and frequency of your hand caresses. Consider employing other tactile media in you caress such as a fur mitt, a silk scarf, a feather, an artists paint brush, etc. you can be as creative and imaginative as you like.
    b.) Sight - Viewing pornography or erotic image slide shows is often used but it can be distractive, there are other mediums where sight is engaged in a different manner for stimulating effect. One such medium is simply viewing abstract images such as video screen savers or video (often combined with audio) entrainment devices/media such as this VIDEO. One can even use a special form of visual stimulation to create an altered state of consciousness.
    c.) Sound - Music and sexy sounds have long been associated with erotic activities as well as being used for their relaxing/healing qualities. The Aneros Audio Experiment offers a sampling of sounds and some user suggested musical accompaniments for your next Anerosession.
    d.) Taste - While foods are rarely referenced in use with Aneros devices, there is a long history of the use foods as erotic accompaniment to couples play. There has been mention of the auto-erotic act of ingesting Cowper's gland emissions and the equally erotic effect of ingesting Skene's gland emissions. Obviously the use of one's tongue for erotic stimulation is going to cause the concurrent effect of being exposed to a wide variety of unique flavors, most of which are pleasurably stimulating as well.
    e.) Smell - The olfactory sense is unique in that information delivered from these nerve sensors go directly to the brain and into one's subconscious before being processed by our conscious mind for interpretation. Aromatherapy has been used for centuries for relaxation and healing purposes, Lavender, Jasmine, Chamomile and Peppermint are used for anti-stress, anti-anxiety and as an anti-depressants. The use of various incense scents can help create the illusion/mood of an exotic/erotic locale. Women have long used perfumes (acting similar to potent pheromones) to help them attract potential mates. If you are single, you may be interested in acquiring an extra special scent to provide a boost into erotica.

    3.) Relaxation - The traditional build-up toward orgasm usually creates a build-up of tension in the muscles of the body as well. At the onset of orgasm, muscles go into involuntary spasms, if a man also ejaculates at this time certain hormones are released that rapidly dissipate this tension and cause the muscles to relax and leads into the typical refractory period and termination of the pleasure waves. Multiple orgasms are possible when men learn to avoid the ejaculatory reflex and instead ride the waves of the subtler orgasmic spasms, one of the ways of accomplishing this is learning to relax your muscles even while they are being stimulated during orgasm. The onset of pleasure waves begins before orgasm and continues through and beyond the orgasmic peak, extending the duration or number of orgasms obviously also extends the pleasure waves.

    The attainment of the Super-O (multi-orgasmic, non-ejaculatory experiences) for most men is dependent on learning to relax, not only your muscles but your mind as well. This may be much more difficult than one might think. The deep relaxation needed here is what one might experience after a deep tissue, full body massage or the state of relaxation which one might experience in a hypnotic trance state. So how do we get into this deep relaxed state?

    There are all manner of relaxation techniques offered on the internet, so what I am suggesting here is by no means the only or best approach, just one approach you can use to set up your session to your advantage. Getting your environment prepared to provide a nice, comfortable atmosphere is one starting point. Making sure your space is warm enough you can play in the nude is a good idea, Prepare your bed, chair(s), bench, floor or whatever furniture you like to use. Some of the same sensory elements listed above which contribute to your arousal can also contribute to your relaxation. Dim the lights to darken the room, this will reduce visual distractions, perhaps light some incense or use some essential oils, play some erotic music or soothing sounds as ambient background. Have everything ready for your Anerosession beforehand. Be sure your environment is private and secured so you won't be disturbed and make sure you are not time constrained.

    Get yourself prepared (see Preparation), if you have a hot tub, sauna, etc. make use of that beforehand, if you have a partner who can provide a massage, so much the better as well. If having a glass of wine or other spirits helps you to relax and get in the mood make use of that too. If it is legal for you, perhaps a little marijuana (particularly cannabis 'indica' varieties with a high CBD {cannabidiol} content) as an alternative to alcohol will help. Practicing a little self-hypnosis or a short meditation may further relax you. Do some simple stretching exercises to get yourself limbered up and the blood flowing freely.

    OK, now you are ready to begin your Anerosession, you've got yourself lubed up and your Aneros in place. There are a variety of breathing techniques you can employ but the most effective and frequently mentioned method is deep belly breathing. This technique has repeatedly shown itself to be effective at reducing stress and inducing the relaxation response in the body, Let yourself spend 10 minutes dropping into the relaxation zone, deeper and deeper before you even start any contraction techniques. Your body will enjoy the healthful side effects of stress reduction as much as you will enjoy the enhanced pleasure from your Aneros device usage.

    Whether you follow the contraction exercise guidelines found in the WIKI, the Quick and Dirty Path..., the Aneros Learning Center contraction exercises or any desired combination that is effective for you, even if you're using the "Do Nothing" method; relaxation is important. Learning to relax your muscles as you build the orgasmic energy does a number of good things for you. It will reduce the frequency and intensity of involuntary large muscle spasms, which in and of themselves are not particularly pleasurable. It will reduce the likelihood of triggering the ejaculatory response, which will effectively terminate your Anerosession and stop the rise to the Super-O. It will allow even the subtlest of pleasure waves to be easily perceived as the cloak of muscular tension is removed. It enables an easy transition into the blissful "Calm Seas of Orgasm" state of being.

    OK, fellow Anerosians, I hope you'll add some more facilitatory ideas to this list and expand upon what I've started here.

    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,210
    As always, great write-up @rumel!  Its nice to be reminded of the basics once in a while especially when things are not going the way we would like it to.  I've been in dud city lately and I think I've taken a few of these steps for granted.  Back to the basics for me! 
  • WiredWired
    Posts: 83
    Great post rumel. I'd like to add a little bit of info about the meditating that people might find helpful. I used to sit in easy pose (the standard sitting position) and try to not think of anything. I would try to force my brain into not thinking about anything. Although still relaxing its fairly impossible to achieve. A thought would enter in my mind and I would consciously drop the thought as fast as I could to return to not thinking. Although I still left my meditation session relaxed, what I learnt next was considerably more effective (and if you are meditating for spiritual reasons this is somewhat your first hurdle). I'll use a metaphor I read in a book that I found particularly useful. Trying to stop the conscious mind from thinking is like standing in a river and trying to stop the flow of water with your hands. For relaxation purposes it's much more effective to step outside of the river and let the water (your thoughts) flow right by you. It's a little hard to understand fully without trying it yourself, but once you can let your brain think without consciously reacting(I'm not really happy with choice of wording but I've got nothing better at the moment. I'll think more closely about this and come back to change it once I've got a more clear explanation) only a few seconds of this will take you into a Much more relaxed state. For me I can fairly easily enter this state but cannot yet hold it for long periods, however I have had a small glimpse of the next step to the spiritual side of this which is to lose yourself in your mind and lose all sense of your body. For me personally, when I enter the first state (I can do this within seconds of beginning a meditation session due to practise) I find that I have a reaction that makes me lift my head and neck back so that I begin looking upwards at a 45 degree angle. I also lose about 50 percent control of my neck muscles and find my head sways around a bit. This is distracting and should be worked upon to be avoided (when sitting in easy pose you should keep your shoulders relaxed and your chin tucked in, not down to your chest, but at the level so that your looking directly in front of yourself). Personally I don't think there's a more effective way to relax than this (atleast I don't know of any) and once you achieve the first state (it's not hard really and shouldn't take you to long to achieve) I think you will be able to not only enter your sessions more relaxed but perhaps with practise you will be able to use this technique in combination with breathing techniques to excel your aneros sessions (I'm yet to use this in my aneros sessions because I haven't been using my aneros since I've become much more practised in the first meditative state. Also I'll point out that trying to enter this state whilst doing breathing exercises is Very hard and will take Alot of practise to do properly). If anybody is going to try meditation out for relaxation into there sessions, I recommend trying/researching this and hope that my post may have helped.
  • JspadJspad
    Posts: 183
    I find that when i have sessions, I will often find myself getting kind of sleepy, but it's hard for me to actually fall asleep. So I end up "almost asleep." Could this be considered a sort of meditation?
  • WiredWired
    Posts: 83
    Jspad, very much so. In fact that state your talking about can be used to enter lucid dreams (stepping into a dream state without falling asleep). It takes a fair bit of practice to be able to do this. There's a lot to be said about this and If interested I would suggest googling lucid dreaming meditation. Also learning to disengage vision (from your eyes) will be strongly beneficial. Although I'm not sure, but I don't think this state is the same as what I called the "first state" in my previous post. I would ask if when in this state do you still have conscious thought? If so I believe that if you can achieve letting your thoughts come and go without conscious reaction (it's like your brain keeps thinking about stuff but you don't pay attention, after 5 minutes of this you should have no idea about anything you thought of) you should quickly enter the next state and lose the sense of boundaries (you will start to feel expansive and very large without boundaries.) However considering the threads intention it should be noted that this type of meditation isn't exactly your goal and I don't think particularly beneficial to achieving a super-o (I don't know so I am reluctant to say that it's detrimental to the process). Not trying to take over this thread with a meditation topic (it is indeed a topic all of its own) so I will likely make a meditation thread later tonight. I'm by no means experienced in meditation, and welcome anybody that wants to set me straight to do so in that thread. Or you could make things easier for me and make the thread yourself! :)
  • JspadJspad
    Posts: 183
    I can still think when I'm half asleep, but I think if anything in particular is felt, it will grab my attention. I've been having sessions for two months so far, and haven't felt anything pleasurable from them yet, but things are somewhat interesting and I think I'm slowly making progress. I guess I'll work on this during my sessions. It is relaxing, like taking a nap, but not really. Maybe I'll have my next session before I go to bed, so I'll be a little more sleepy
  • legacelegace
    Posts: 129
    Also imagining the smell is quite effective and more practical. Imagine smelling your mates favorite perfume. I find that when you imagine a pleasant fragrance on the inhale you WANT to breathe , its not just air anymore.

  • WiredWired
    Posts: 83
    Jspad I think your better off not being sleepy as you will much more likely doze off quickly. However it warrants investigating.
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 750
    Bump for super great thread.
  • I was in a training session at work today about becoming more patient and learning how to relax!

    I wanted so badly to say something about how..."when I relax, I have orgasms"...but I decided to keep that to myself!

  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,210
    @Theme_Gasm, If you did mention it I'm sure you would've recieved alot of gasps!!!  Then a bunch of questions lol