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I would like to apologize to all the women out there...
  • ...who have been so damn frustratingly close to orgasm but just couldn't quite reach it!!! I'll never leave you hanging ever again!
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492

    Clap Good On You! Clap

    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,782
    LMAO!  Yeah, this journey does open your eyes in ways you never expected.
  • i had to read it twice.

    got me hard.

  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,035
    I would add my voice to this. I think what is advocated as the 'money shot' in porn videos (where most young people get their sex instruction) is really bad news. It implies the male is not fully satisfied with the vaginal stimulation, with his partner, so he has to take it out and finish by hand. (Why stick it in in the first place!) What about her!
    I do not have the reference but several years ago an article in the New Scientist journal referred to a study where students who came/were cum inside were more confident in themselves the next day than those who weren't, the indication being that in the absorption of 'juices' by both parties had a positive effect with both. My post has nothing to do with self pleasure but with presenting 'pull out' and jerking off as the norm. What impression does this leave the girl with regarding her value and her need for pleasure. Who cares if she is left hanging out for completion!
    So cum-inside creampies really are the ultimate, unless of course the girl really does not want him in her at all. Oh dear, what have I said!!
  • You have said one of the most important thing I can imagine. I too hate the porn trend of taking it out to finish. It suggests that the woman is just a toy. A woman's orgasm with the penis in and pumping is the ultimate joy for her. Let her have this pleasure every time. She deserves it.
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,140
    The old expression walk a mile in my shoes seems apropos here.  Interesting how having a true understanding of the struggles opens our eyes....and our hearts!

    BF Mayfield
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    As with the videos you see of Aneros in action, when you're doing it right all the action is internal and there's very little to see except a little shaking, changes in body position and facial expressions. Such a video would be boring to watch.

    Similarly, a "take it out to finish" shot is spectacle.
  • Cuming inside is the best part. It is a moment of truth where both trully do become one! After all it is the ultimate goal!
    In porn there is always a double standard.
    How is it said? Bros before hoes! typical male crap! IMHO. 
  • I think the reason they take it out in porn is to prove that the guy really came, I think.  I love to watch cream pies where the guy is really into it and sinks it deep and takes a few more deep afterthrusts at the end of his ejaculation. 
  • I agree that cumming inside is the ultimate turn on from personal experience. it's hard to describe and I imagine straight men probably don't want to hear about it so I'll leave it at that. But don't all the porn players that you watch use condoms in the AIDS era? So even if they did cum inside her, she wouldn't feel much and the body fluids wouldn't mingle. I agree that she would miss the ecstatic thrusting which is part of the turn on. I used to volunteer for support for people with AIDS so I know how horrible it is first hand. So I'm glad that sex workers are finally required to wear condoms.

    That being said the original point as I read it is one of the man being aware of and sensitive to his partners arousal and being understanding and patient. Prostate massage is a great introduction to understanding others level of arousal and learning to hold back longer with climaxing. This brings up the problem that Electrified talked about recently, no matter how long you hold out, your partner may continue to have orgasms. I think it's important to stay close with the partner after it seems to be over to share the joy if only vicariously.

    I'm not entirely guessing about heterosexual sexual practices here, I'm speaking from the bottom where I like to be and getting f@@ked. I think bottoms have a different experience from the tops, (correct me if I'm wrong) but it can be very hot while it's going on but not in a penis/ejaculation/climax way, more in a prostate calm seas trance way. So I know it's important for my partner to stay with me after he's finished and finish me off. Of course if both partners are switching positions, it makes things easier.

    I had the experience of actually breaking through the barrier between myself and women on an emotional level using the emotional discharge technique. it's a powerful transpersonal opening to be immersed in a woman's experience. This was not a sexual experience but again, I can sort of empathize with women there too.
  • Although that's a noble goal it has as much or more to do with what's going on b/t her ears as anything your doing. If she's uncomfortable or preoccupied you could grind away indefinitely and not hit pay dirt.

    But a guy's gotta put in an honest effort.
  • Variety is the spice of life though...  I love to come all over my girlfriend sometimes.  When I'm sitting over her, she's looking at my penis, touching it, licking it a bit... When i climax like this, it's always strong... And I'm kinda proud of it!

    A while back we were doing 69 with her on top, she pulled my legs up and started to lick my perineum and do analingus.  That sensation together with our bodies rubbing together was enough to make me come.  Showering together afterwards was great. :D

  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 170
    I wonder if what @Emancipation was trying to say was lost in the foray.  I agree with the money shot topic, it is just for show, to prove he came, and people like to see things squirting out of people (just like women squirting), etc...however what I think he meant many times men are having sex with a woman and forget all about (or are so caught up in their own pleasure) making sure she is taken care of.  Then once its all over she lies there frustrated thinking she's a tool while he is snoring.  Most of the men I have been with have been that way, for the most part they were selfish, only seeking their ejaculation, and not really caring what i felt as long as i seemed to be enjoying myself.  The sad part is thats not just young guys...I've had men that were way past 50 do the same thing.  It gets even worse when i talk to female friends of mine and the story is the same for them as well.  So to @Emancipation, thank you I think you got the lesson.  However lets not get lost in what was being pointed out, sex is give and take not just take.  

    @ctusser you couldnt be more right, she has to be there with you or else it wont work.  At least she can give you an A for effort though lol

    So now my advice is to all those guys who have friends, sons, nephews, cousins, brothers, fathers, uncles, and any other male associations encourage them to number one not learn from porn.  Second pass on the word that people are not just holes to be gotten off in, if you dont plan on pleasing the person you are with and are in it just for yourself...go jerk off instead.  Third this trend will NEVER be rectified unless people (especially parents) pass on accurate knowledge and information to future generations that dispel current myths about the differences between men and women, what sex is and isnt, and how fake pornography really is, and that it is not a learning tool its really an example of what NOT to do in most cases.
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    @devajones, i agree completely.  Very well said.   :)
  • My GF and I take turns just seeing just how long we can pleasure the other before we cry uncle. She wins everytime. Last night she was literally cumming for almost 2 hours straight. She is a machine! I would not have understood this prior to my aneros experiences.
  • Yes Deva, that is precisely what I was referring to. I still don't know if I've even climaxed yet, because my sessions are in a constant state of improvement. So much so, that I've had to back off a bit, because the pleasure was so intense that it was becoming seriously addicting... almost to the point of being a little scary at times. Our minds can only handle so much pleasure/pain and I believe the Aneros is a device that stretches that limit. Much in the same way that stretching the body will allow you to become more limber, such it is with the Aneros line. 

    Ever onward.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 170
    @Emancipation I'm just glad I was able to capture that true moment of open honesty and understanding with a bit of humor thrown in, and interpret it accurately.  I think it will make lots of people stop and think for a second...thought provocation is everything.
  • I do appreciate sex when my partner cums inside me. It's fulfilling and complete. A moment of "oneness" that is the ultimate intimacy. But, I do think some men enjoy watching themself come. I am sure it is a need fulfilled by actually viewing it. I have to say, watching his all out show whether he's in me or not - is wondrous.
  • Nurselady, having been a male and around males my entire life. I have never heard of a guy enjoying watching themselves come. I'm sure that's not an absolute, it's just never something that has been discussed to my knowledge in over 40 years of being around. Most guys just view it as a minor inconvenience that needs to be cleaned up afterward. Although, I will confess, when those ejaculations occur where one is actually spent and nothing comes out, there is a slight feel of disappointment... of course that could just be from one of those weak orgasms those tend to follow. ;)
  • @Emancipation : Let me be the first then. ;-)
    It might be my exhibitionist streak, I don't know.   I just enjoy coming over my gf's body, and watching her watching me.  A strong ejaculation makes me proud, and feels different than coming inside.

    I agree with @nurselady as well, that coming inside is a very good feeling.  I'd even call it necessary in a healthy relationship.
  • @Emancipation- I suppose that surprises me about males. Men sit around since the time they first ejaculate and do this behavior for years. I believe males probably enjoy seeing their ejaculation. I do know the cleanup effect is there. Ha! Well, it's there for women when it's inside us.
    @HermitKatwan - are your ejaculations stronger when masturbating than when you would come inside? I've never thought about that in regards to males. Any opinions?
    But, yes... In a relationship, I'd be concerned if my partner didn't want to come inside me. Personally, I want to feel that moment with him. I'm all girl here, but it's giving. Emotional. I do enjoy watching at times. But, hey-I'm STILL watching even if you are inside me.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 170
    @nurselady I'll second the first post above i agree totally with that idea of oneness and completeness.  Nice to see you posting again btw =D>
  • @devajones Thank you. There's been a lot going on over the last year. I've missed you. Life has been very busy.
  • @Emancipation I don't think it's rare at all. Getting positively surprised by the intensity of your ejaculation while enjoying deep and intense sensations compliments the experience. Even better with a partner, enjoying the sensations and seeing the excitement in her eyes that she has turned you into a fountain. :D

  • @nurselady : My solo ejaculations are several intensities below any ejaculation involving my girlfriend.
    I can't really compare ejaculations that involve her though.  They all feel differently.  Missionary feels different from having her on top.  It also depends on build-up a lot, and anal play or not.

    I haven't yet had a solo ejaculation with the aneros inserted, so I can't compare those orgasms.

  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,782
    @Emancipation -  Like others have said, it's not an absolute and quite common. I'm one of those guys that likes to watch myself ejaculate on my women partners. It's one of many pleasurable and enjoyable  ways for me to finish with them. And as with any coupled sexual act, even hotter when she enjoys it as much as I do. I'd highly recommend you do some reading over at:

    In my own experience with spending time reading and commenting there, I've found that there is a much wider variety of sexual experiences, stimulation preferences, ways of orgasming, fetishes, and also unfortunately sexual dysfunction, more than I ever knew or expected existed. It's really broadened my mind about sex in general.

  • AneRicoAneRico
    Posts: 308
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