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Aneros, Arousal & Abstinence
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    Hi Guys,Ciao!

    First let me preface this post with the statement that most published discussions on the web treat male "orgasm" and ejaculation as the same thing. Unfortunately this is an erroneous interpretation but needs to be kept in mind when reading material away from this Forum. Some recent threads and my ongoing search for understanding prompted me to start this discussion.

    A key facet of the Super-Ozone gem is maintaining high mental arousal levels (erectile state is immaterial, see Are you "aroused"?). One frequently cited method of raising arousal levels is viewing pornography, however, there may be some drawbacks to this approach. Another (less frequently cited) method is temporal abstinence.

    The pornography topic has frequently been discussed here and its direct effect on Anerosessions was broached in a Community Poll question. As I recall, there seemed to be a minority belief such viewing during an Anerosession was counterproductive to achieving a Super-O. This was primarily due to the distractive nature of active viewing taking mental focus away from the internal sensations being generated. There may be an even more insidious aspect to use of pornography, namely addiction and desensitization.

    Some recent research has revealed a physiological basis for porn addiction which is equally applicable to potential Aneros addiction. Some psychological studies have pointed to the rise of internet porn addiction as a contributory factor in incidences of ED, decreasing libido, relationship problems, etc. Whether you have a porn addiction or not, the process of desensitization is nonetheless occurring with repeated viewing. Likewise, too frequent use of your Aneros massagers could lead to desensitization as well.

    The lesson to be learned here is that moderating/limiting your porn viewing may actually help your Anerosessions. Another one of those Aneros use paradoxes.

    So what of the temporal abstinence path to arousal? Ejaculatory control has been a part of Taoist philosophy and Tantric practice for hundreds of years. While the practice is primarily aimed at heightening spiritual energy, there is a physiological basis to support this as an arousal elevator as well. In western culture, practitioners of male chastity have been using this phenomenon as a basis for maintaining high arousal for quite sometime. Please read Kelmag's blog entry Male Chastity - Pleasure and Devotion, the Science Behind It for a well researched blog entry on this phenomena.

    The key aspect of maximizing pleasure and arousal is to recognize your own cycle of neurotransmitter responses. The dopamine, oxytocin and prolactin components are intertwined and an ejaculation is a bodily "reset button" taking the body back to a sub normal state of being. There is a necessary recovery time extending beyond the penile refractory period for the neurotransmitters to return to a homeostatic condition. This time period seems to average around 7-10 days for the average healthy male. So what does this mean for Aneros users?

    Reducing the frequency of your ejaculations will heighten your arousal levels and heighten your pleasure levels as well. If you avoid ejaculations entirely, after a certain period of time you will be in a continual high arousal state, primed and ready for Aneros use. You may enjoy as many Super-O's as you can handle and they will likely be more frequent and intense as well.

    However, there are some drawbacks to this :
    1.) You are going to be "hornier than hell" once you reach your homeostatic 'normal'.
    2.) The 'blue balls' syndrome is likely to kick in and the temptation to obtain ejaculatory relief may be impossible to resist.
    3.) The hormonal/neurotransmitter induced mood change after an ejaculation is magnified.
    4.) The prospect of building back up to the previous high level may seem too frustrating to pursue.

    For some of us older Aneros users, with the biological imperative minimized and naturally diminished testosterone levels, temporal abstinence is a very viable path. However, for the younger members, this may prove problematic.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • This is genius stuff Rumel - thank you for being such a dedicated detective in drawing these themes together, your post here has allowed me to make a real shift in gaining a more pragmatic background to the whole Aneros usage phenomenon.

    A thought on pornography - if as some evidence suggests part of the reason it is stimulating is because in looking at it - it fires off mirror neurons and thus the brain not only observes but also evokes an acting out (so what you see feels like you are doing it too) - given the depiction of males experiencing super-os is hardly mainstream, over exposure is not going to be conducive to learning an appropriate Aneros response.

    With regard to your final 4 drawbacks - the clear stating of these makes them some how feel less insurmountable, as I near 50 I feel maturity and aging give you a very positive benefit - the surrender to acceptance of greater ecstatic experience that they offer in working through them and the patience to do that.
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    Rumel - thanks very much for your thoughts on this.  Only a few weeks ago, I might have been tempted to skim-read this post, BUT since having read Chia and Avara's book "The Multi-Orgasmic Man", I was struck by how much of it already accorded with my own experiences, and how much of what you say also does the same.

    I realised for example, that before I always enjoyed my horniness/arousal, and hated it at the same time.  I could be elated or I could be grumpy - it was very much in control of me, and the traditional way to indulge one's self when this is the case, is to masturbate and then ejaculate.  I have been "edging" for years, but there always came a point where I would just have to cum.  Either it was because Blue ball syndrome would be the inevitable conclusion if I didn't ejaculate, or my muscles would give up the fight of holding me close to the edge for so long. I think I would be right in saying that I rarely went 2 days without wanking, and mostly I'd masturbate every day, often for 2 or even 3 hours, and often to internet porn.  The ejaculatory orgasms were great after edging, but short as always, and then you are left with NOTHING.

    Then came my aneros experiences.  I have had so much pleasure since starting, although my progress is what I would call "slow but steady".  I have gained a clear understanding of how important arousal is for the maximum pleasure from my helix, and then my eupho.  I have also now discovered how much my arousal is feeding my arousal. So now I had found that my horniness had "fringe benefits", but even though I appreciated this, I did still feel the urge to ejaculate frequently.  I believe now, that the loss of arousal when one ejaculates does make it harder to make progress with the aneros, but it is the lack of knowledge of how to deal with your horniness if you don't ejaculate that keeps one on ejaculatory path.

    I do still masturbate occasionally, but I only ejaculate say once every 8 to 10 days, and if I get better at the control, I may go longer than that.  Already, when I do masturbate, my senses are greatly heightened.  Every part of my body almost instantly feels like an erogenous zone.  My arousal feeds my arousal, whereas before it seemed like I had to work hard to keep my arousal levels up whilst using the aneros for example.  Already with my eupho, I am recognising so many more sensations, and am able to amplify them much more than I did before.  I even had aneros-less mini-orgasms whilst effectively doing some kegels this morning.  So much pleasure - the 6 to 10 seconds of a traditional ejaculatory orgasm seems less attractive somehow.  Then there is the effect on health and sense of well being if you don't ejaculate so often.

    Of the drawbacks to the non-ejaculatory path you rightly describe, the Taoist approach offers methods of controlling these so that you just don't just explode, as some might think, and when you do ejaculate it is likely to be the best wet orgasm you ever had.  Blue ball syndrome is awful, but there are methods to help deal with that too. During my first 10 day - non-ejaculatory period, I got a lot of blue balls, and I used the techniques described by Chia and Avara to alleviate this, which worked!  This time around, I haven't found it so much of a problem yet (5 days in), and I am wondering if we can educate our bodies to respond differently, so that blue balls becomes less of a problem? The hormone/mood change is great when you do ejaculate, but I haven't found this difficult to deal with.  The loss of arousal is the terrible pay-off.  I have noticed that my arousal returns to my new "normal" after 3 days, and that is slightly depressing when you grow to love your horniness, but it has to be accepted as an occasional part of your sexual existence, unless you decide to not ejaculate at all, and have the psychological and physical means to do this.

    On a side note, I don't need porn any more to get me highly aroused.  Hurray!  Most of it was terrible anyhow. Spending hours trawling through images of mechanical sex, just to find the ones where it SEEMED like the participants actually liked each other, was getting to be frustrating.  I still look at it occasionally, but if nothing grabs my attention, then it is no big deal.  The aneros and these Taoist techniques together have given me a greater fulfilment sexually than I could ever have imagined, but also I have found them to be unexpectedly liberating - and yet there seems so much more to discover.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    @ 'hapticbear,

    I agree with your statement "...maturity and aging give you a very positive benefit - the surrender to acceptance of greater ecstatic experience that they offer in working through them and the patience to do that." I also think one can develop the same skill at a younger age through mental discipline acquired from Taoist/Tantric practices as pointed out by 'Linum" in his post.

    @ 'Linum',

    I agree with your statement "The aneros and these Taoist techniques together have given me a greater fulfillment sexually than I could ever have imagined, but also I have found them to be unexpectedly liberating - and yet there seems so much more to discover."
    I also agree Chia's book will resonate for most men reading it. As my own Aneros journey has evolved, I've come to a better awareness of the dynamic synergy which exists in the physical body, the psychological body and the spiritual body. Having an awareness and understanding of the physical processes associated with sexual arousal enables you to use your mental discipline to harness those energies not only for better Anerosessions but for better sex in general and a more enriching life overall.

    It pleases me to know your Aneros journey is rewarding you both in ways which transcend the pure physical pleasure evoked by your Aneros use. This new awareness, which you now carry 24/7, will continue to bring new insights and joys into your life as long as you remain open minded and open hearted.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • I find your honesty inspiring Linum, I've been there with the pornography so know where you are coming from and the thought to wanting and hating the horniness is really insightful for me too - in my case more fearful than hate, but then hate and fear are different sides of the same emotional coin.

    I'm feeling that if you have found any interest towards the Aneros then it may be appropriate for this to be taken up as a wake up call, some part of you is seeking personal growth at many levels - open / surrender to the call :)

    And I agree Rumel that growth can start at any time in one's life, if you can tap into a body of human knowledge which is supportive - bravo Aneros Forum!

    Curiosity the Mars rover landed successfully today - if you watch the animation - you will think bonkers! But as the video ends - "dare mighty things" - look what happens when a group of humanity set themselves a problem - sum greater than the parts and all that.

  • WebboWebbo
    Posts: 6
    Great post , Linum and hapticbear sum me up to a tee . As a "total wanker" until recently (probably still called that though ) :)) the need has gone but the satisfaction is ten fold . I am learning that arousal is often not visible it's from within . Excuse my newbie posts but this is so massive for me , the beginning of a journey . Thanks
  • yr99yr99
    Posts: 20
    I am going down this path as well. I've found that when I keep my sexual energies instead of releasing it, i feel a stronger sensation of pleasure throughout my day.

    What is the cure for blue balls, though? That's my main problem. i don't even mind the horniness anymore, it's kind of fun.
  • Some members say the only or at least possible way to get rid of blue balls is to masturbate to ejaculation.  i dunno, don't have that problem, but it makes sense to me, as that is the nature of blue balls i think, arousal w/o release.  if u get them every time you have an aneros session and don't wet cum, i wud think that is not pleasant, butt wud depend on how often u do session seems to me.  i agree that wet cumming tends to sorta drain one, altho i haven't done it often enuf to say too much from experience.  how long does it take to go away w/o doing anything about it?  u might do a search on blue balls in the search box at right to of page.  i know it has been mentioned since i have been reading forum.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492

    The most frequently cited 'cure' for epididymal hypertension or vasocongestion ("blue balls") is to masturbate until ejaculation occurs, this is your RESET switch and you are set back, having to go through the arousal buildup cycle again.

    Simply lying down and relaxing may be effective. In most cases the discomfort is only temporary and usually goes away in a few hours, though it is likely to return and become cyclic. If there is no real pain, but instead just the intense urge to ejaculate, engaging in other activities allows time for the urgency to subside as your mind is distracted from thinking about/dwelling upon the temporary discomfort.

    Cold compresses applied to the testicles/perineum area will also ease the discomfort. Of course there's also the time tested procedure of taking a cold shower to reduce overall arousal levels.

    Finally, there's prostate milking which will provide temporary physical relief without completely resetting your arousal cycle. You can do this yourself or have an intimate partner perform it on you.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • KeokeKeoke
    Posts: 67
    Rumel, excellent advice! I agree with everything you wrote. The cold shower, followed by other activities, is usually the quick, easy way to go. I haven't tried prostate milking, but that sounds even better!!   
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    My blue ball problem seems to be diminishing of its own accord, even though non-ejaculatory sex and masturbation has become more common for me than ejaculatory.  I find that sometimes I get a pressure release of masses of precum and even cum, without ejaculation, and this is a guarantee that blue balls will not occur.  Even when this doesn't occur, a bit of massage after the "session" makes sure that any discomfort is very minimal.  I think my physiology has adapted to this new occasionally ejaculatory state, and I have been rewarded with multiple prostate orgasms as well.  Would I go back to always ejaculating at the end of masturbation - definitely not.  I am enjoying the route I am now on too much, and my aneros sessions are even more intense too.
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    Proof positive! I'm now on day 8 of abstinence and for the first time in several weeks have had a series of dry Os that climbed to a minutes-long big O.  :D

    I endorse this product and/or service. ;)
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    I am pleased for you twlltin - that is certainly my experience too.
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    Three really good sessions (Eupho in evening, Classic at dawn, Progasm for lunch) in the last 24 hours and I'm still buzzing. This makes up for the weeks of duds. I'm still planning to abstain for another week, assuming my sanity holds.  8-}
  • KeokeKeoke
    Posts: 67
    Good going, twiltin! I share your excitement: Syn at 11:00 p.m. last night; MGX at 5:00 a.m. today; changed to Maxi from 6:00-7:00 a.m. Still enjoying a semi-hardon and a full body arousal.   :-)
  • I've tried refraining from masturbation and didn't feel it made a difference in my Aneros success one way or the other.  The first two times I tried it I felt like it was better.  But then I tried it multiple times during a 12 day abstinence and had dud sessions.  Go figure.

  • KeokeKeoke
    Posts: 67
    Hampton, I don't regularly deny myself orgasms, either; just doesn't seem healthy to me. I hadn't cum for about four days until a "relief" session Tuesday, so the sessions overnight I let the pressure build; don't know yet if I'll hold out tonight or "reward" myself with a wet conclusion to another aneros session.  :-) 
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    Eek! I had a lie down an hour ago and after about 20 minutes had a chain of a dozen dry Os spaced about two minutes apart. That was without any Aneros inserted. I feel blessed.
  • KeokeKeoke
    Posts: 67
    Truly!   :-)
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    twlltin - when you say "abstinence",  does that mean in your case, no ejaculation, or no masturbation, or both?  I know that Rumel headed this thread with the word "abstinence" but in his brilliant opening post, mentioned Taoist techniques which are non-ejaculatory, but definitely orgasmic.  I am wondering if this difference is fully understood by those who say they don't like the idea of it?

    I masturbate or have sex quite a bit, except when I intend use the aneros.  When I masturbate, I dry orgasm loads (which I understand it is the gist of the Multiple Male Orgasm  (MMO) techniques described by Chia in "The Multi-Orgasmic Man"), but at the moment I don't ejaculate more than once every 8 days, since this is the key to getting all those lovely orgasms.  I added up the time I dry orgasmed the other day for example (for about half an hour in one session) and realised that to accumulate the same amount of orgasm-time with ejaculatory orgasms,  I would have to have sex, or wank 180 times - which is clearly not going to happen in one day - lol.

    Hamptonbdsm - before reading and practising the techniques described by Chia,  I too found that "abstinence" was good for aneros use in the first couple of days, but bad thereafter.  Chia describes several ways of controlling your sexual energy, so that you don't get sexually frustrated, whilst maintaining a high level of horniness, or arousal.  I believe that the bad sessions after abstinence were as a result of sexual frustration, which I don't seem to have any more.  I am pretty glad about that - because sexual frustration is almost entirely negative.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    'hamptonbdsm's post led me to thinking perhaps his neurotransmitter replenishment period is longer than average, as such it may require a longer period of temporal abstinence to reach an optimal level. This led me to ask, what is the time frame to reach an optimal level? How long between presses of the RESET Button (ejaculations)? This is a much discussed topic (most recently discussed in the Continence??? thread.)

    Did our ancient male ancestors practice ejaculatory control? If so why would that be? I think they did... but not consciously. The males opportunity for copulation was largely influenced by the receptivity of the female. Her receptivity was influenced by her menstrual cycle. Her menstrual cycle (along with other female members of the tribe) may have been synchronized to the Lunar cycle (see Lunaception).

    The males who were most successful in passing on their genes, probably, were also the most aroused, sexually excited ones, capable of impregnating numerous female tribe members during the fertile period of their menstrual cycle. Thus men may have evolved their neurotransmitter/hormonal system in a similar manner to optimize their reproductive odds.

    My theory is that men evolved a hormonal cycle to synchronize with a woman's, albeit it's influence is not nearly as evident as it is in women. If that is true then there is no biological advantage to actually ejaculating before a fertile time period in the cycle. Nature tied orgasmic pleasure to ejaculation to assure that the male would take advantage of the female's fertile period as often as possible. Thus a male's optimum time period between ejaculations may also be the 28 day lunar cycle.

    For a period of time we had a light hearted Full Moon Club here on the Forum. There is much anecdotal evidence for and folk lore about unconventional behavior (Lunacy) during the Full Moon. I think these unconventional behaviors could partially be due to subtle hormonal cycles.

    So what does all this mean for the Aneros user? Your odds of achieving a Super-O are increased by high arousal levels. Arousal level is influenced by hormone and neurotransmitter levels. Those levels are reset down to a base level due to ejaculation. The build to a homeostatic hormone/neurotransmitter level averages 7-10 days following ejaculation (I suspect it's longer as we age). I think after this period arousal still builds until it peaks in the 28 day lunar cycle and then plateaus with minor up and down variations in arousal thereafter.

    The good news in all this is that you can effectively use your Aneros at any time during your personal hormone cycle but practicing temporal abstinence may help boost your arousal level to the Super-O threshold. Once you're at your optimum levels from your temporal abstinence you can ride that high arousal level for many orgasms. You always get to choose when to hit the reset button.
    For those who argue on behalf of more frequent ejaculations for health purposes, I think the 28 day period is probably a reasonably healthy frequency, but the news gets even better. Your regular use of an Aneros massager (every 3-4 days?) may allow you to extend the healthy period between ejaculations much longer. Ancient man didn't have such a sophisticated device at his disposal so the ejaculatory release for health purposes was his best way to release sequestered seminal fluids.
    Aneros use does allow for that release without triggering the ejaculatory reflex and resetting of the arousal cycle, thus keeping you at an optimal arousal level much longer, which could then lead to more frequent Super-O's
    Anyway, that's my current theory.

    For some of you this heightened arousal and/or Super-O during Aneros use may push you into orgasm with an unintentional ejaculation, resetting your cycle. I don't have a good answer for preventing that but if it happens... you might as well enjoy it!

    @ 'Linum'

    You said "... I added up the time I dry orgasmed the other day for example (for about half an hour in one session) and realised that to accumulate the same amount of orgasm-time with ejaculatory orgasms, I would have to have sex, or wank 180 times..."
    That's great, it just reinforces the value of Aneros massagers to amplify our orgasmic potential and the value of some temporal abstinence to help that along.

    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    Interesting ideas there Rumel.

    Just to confirm - temporal abstinence, is abstinence from ejaculating, but not abstinence from masturbating?
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492

    Yes that's exactly correct, by "temporal abstinence" I am meaning no ejaculations for a certain period of time. It's up to the individual to fine tune his chosen time period length.

    The user chosen abstinence period is independent of one's masturbatory frequency as long as the masturbatory session doesn't include ejaculation. Non-ejaculatory, masturbation sessions will increase one's arousal levels for future sessions.

    Some people would consider an Anerosession as masturbation though I consider it a healthful erotic meditation. That's a semantic distinction and discussion topic for another thread.  
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    My personal abstinence this week has been abstinence from both ejaculating and masturbating. I don't have enough control yet to be able to do one without leading inevitably to the other.

    My most recent session was anerosless and ratcheted through a series of dry Os (which my body's only just worked out how to produce in the last month or so), to increasing levels of continuous orgasm, until it got to a level where the feeling was continuous and felt everywhere over my body (but not in my head) with all the muscles in a very slight state of quivering tension.

    It's almost exactly a year today since I got my first Aneros (a Helix) and thought it was a load of snake oil. How wrong could I be!
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    Don't you just love "Dr. Aneros Magic Snake Oil and Elixir" ?
    I know I do!
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • I like your theory of an underpinning biological fertility cycle  Rumel - it would perhaps explain a phenomenon I have that having ejaculated after an abstinence period (usually 14 to 21 days for me) I don't reset immediately - I actually feel incredibly horny for about the next 12 hours (24 / 48 hours later it really feels like I've reset) and in those 12 hours it feels like I could ejaculate forever, but I know if I do, do it twice, I really go down afterwards - however that would make sense in your theory Rumel - once you'd impregnated it would make biological sense to do it again soon after to ensure a better success in fertilisation. Does anyone else experience this 12 hour post-ejaculatory heightened horniness?
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,782
    @Hapticbear - Yes I do. Even though I've used ejaculation abstinence for a few years now in my Aneros practice. Lately I've found that having a weekly super-T ejaculation actually makes me more aroused and makes my Aneros sessions more pleasureful and eventful. Almost like it reminds my body that it can orgasm, even if ejaculatory, and receive great pleasure.
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    twlltin said -  "My most recent session was anerosless and ratcheted through a series of dry Os (which my body's only just worked out how to produce in the last month or so), to increasing levels of continuous orgasm, until it got to a level where the feeling was continuous and felt everywhere over my body (but not in my head) with all the muscles in a very slight state of quivering tension".

    twlltin - this is exactly what I am experiencing now - that was a wonderful description you gave there.  Unlike you, I can generally masturbate and have sex without ejaculating but now they are invariably punctuated by dry orgasms.  I practised edging for many years before I found the aneros and Taoist practices.

    My anerosless sessions have recently led to 20 minutes of continual dry orgasm, with the all-over slight muscle quivering tension that you describe, in addition to waves of other dry orgasms before and after.  They get stronger and longer as they go on, and I get get all "steamed up " as the arousal builds and builds.  I don't think I could have achieved this, without having sensitised my prostate with the aid of my trusty helix.  I still love to have aneros sessions, although these are somewhat different, but the anerosless are easier to achieve on a daily basis.  I can incorporate the anerosless sessions into making love with my partner very easily and naturally - for a start there is no need for any preparation.
  •  I have been doing this(dry Oing) at work lately, when I have extended sit down periods.  The beauty is that all I really have to do is think about the buzzing thats going on and away I go.  Get some pretty strange looks sometimes, "what are you smiling at?" type thing, you know.  I'll never tell.   :-)


  • Haha! if only they knew!
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    Teeder - that is fantastic!

    However, it just goes to show that everyone's dry orgasms are different - my whole body would be vibrating as if it were a VERY large a deep-pitched tuning fork - I don't think I could hide it with a smile - but I know exactly what you mean when you say you were smiling to yourself.  I find myself doing the same even for memories of dry orgasms.

    Whoops - the vibrations have started again from just thinking about it.  I think I should go now, or give away the plot!  I love this ejaculatory abstinence thing.  I have never been so horny in my life.
  • OMG! I have been trying this abstinence thing for 4 days now. 
    It seemed to work, last night I was scheduled for a aneros session but due to commitments the next day I re-framed from inserting. I did however listen to the new "Leak" audio file and I could not help it my body took of on a session by itself without the aneros. It was almost as good as with miss helix inserted.
    This has never happened before. WOW....
    This morrning my nuts are on fire I so want to blow my load but are trying not to.
    I am 40 and I would have to say have ejaculated on average every second day since puberty but since getting the aneros this has not changed until now.
    Trying to obstain for ejaculation is now 10 times harder than before I owned a aneros.
    Hope I can resist another few days at least but I dont know its real hard. (no pun intended)  
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492

    "Trying to obstain for ejaculation is now 10 times harder than before I owned a aneros."

    Wink While the short term temptation to resume old masturbation habits may seem daunting, it does get easier to adjust to longer periods of ejaculatory abstinence. Especially in light of the benefits one acquires.

    1.) Increased arousal level
    2.) More stable psychological and physiological energy
    3.) More interest in sensual pursuits
    4.) More intensity in enjoyment of life

    "Hope I can resist another few days at least but I dont know its real hard."

    I am quite confident that you can apply your mind to harnessing your sexual energy into a synergistic paradigm incorporating your Aneros massagers, just as your username implies.

    braveneworld - Welcome to your Brave New World
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    I second that Rumel

    Braveneworld - well done on the non-ejaculatory front - I have found all of the 4 benefits that Rumel lists, and currently my anerosless sessions are better than with the aneros.  Partly I think that this is down to not having the time for the aneros at the moment, whereas the anerosless session can happen spontaneously, even with my partner - fantastic!  I am not sure he knew what to make of it - lol  "intrigued" is the word that he used.

    I recognised the "balls on fire" statement that you made.  In a way, that is incredibly horny in its own right - there is a positive feedback loop here, so that the hornier you get the hornier it makes you.

    Have you ever read "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" by Chia and Arava (sorry to mention it AGAIN) - if not give it a whirl, because it gives some good hints about how to control your horniness so that you can build your sexual energy even higher.  I have found it useful in matters of blue ball syndrome, circulating excess sexual energy, and the value and place of internal ejaculations.

    Good luck
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,782
    @braveneworld - That's awesome! I was just like you three or four years back when I first tried ejaculation abstinence. I'm glad you've opted to try this. Do yourself a favor and try to wait a week or two before ejaculating. It will get easier, and your arousal will be quite intense for the Aneros sessions. Think of it as an experiment.
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    I got to 18 days before succumbing to temptation. I'm going to try again as it was very beneficial.
  • hmmm got to this morning! Guess I will start again..... :-)) Miss eupho arrived yesterday and she did not warm up to me as good as I had hoped last night and this morning. She moves well but is not as intense as miss helix. Mind you miss helix was not at her best either so maybe another night... Thats how it goes.
    Got frustrated in the end and had to give in. I will keep trying.
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    I have found there is an interplay between on the one hand, being horny, and on the other being sexually frustrated. HORNY is good - the helix and the eupho (SNAP!) are fantastic, and anerosless is also fantastic. FRUSTRATED is bad, and not much happens - I assume because I cannot relax enough.  How we transform frustration into yet more horniness is a good question. 

    Taoists say that you should redirect excess sexual energy - which goes back to the techniques in Chia's book.

    Love_is says (in my view, probably rightly) that after a certain number of days, the non-ejaculatory route becomes easier.

    Braveneworld, I guess you reached the point at which frustration out ways horniness, as I often have.  I too have had some dud sessions with my aneros in this phase.  I am still trying to work out the best route myself.  The day before yesterday I came (wet ejaculation) for the first time in 6 days, but in many respects if I hadn't I might have found things a lot easier from now on.  I am now back in the ultra-horny phase, but once again the frustration is now also beginning to rise once more.  These techniques are all about building arousal, but avoiding the negative effects - frustration, blue ball syndrome etc. There is so much to learn, but it is certainly fun trying to work it all out.  I guess I should reread the chapters in the book about keeping control of your sexual energy, rather than it controlling you?

    Good luck - I have enjoyed hearing about your and other posters' experiences, which seem to echo mine. I won't forget "my nuts are on fire" in a hurry - lol

    Thanks for that.
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,834
    @hapticbear...  Yes on the 12-hour urge.  I vividly remember that urge springing from my deep sub-conscious when trying to ensure that I'd 'rung the bell' for each of our planned pregnancies.   The emotions accompanying those ejaculations were markedly more profound than the more loving emotions I experience when sex is a mutually desired activity.   How much of it was consciously driven and how much was 'pure animal' is hard to say.  
    Years ago I had the pleasure of working alongside a marvelous Saudi gent (with four wives) who casually remarked that it was good to separate wives physically so as to, "have them not all fall into the same psychological mindset."  This thread helps me to understand more about what he most probably meant.

    I like Rumel's observation:"...Did our ancient male ancestors practice ejaculatory control? If so why would that be? I think they did... but not consciously. The males opportunity for copulation was largely influenced by the receptivity of the female. Her receptivity was influenced by her menstrual cycle. Her menstrual cycle (along with other female members of the tribe) may have been synchronized to the Lunar cycle...."

    Further, in a tribal or Harem-like environment there might have been mutual synchrony: -- --

    That factor might have caused males to structure their own social and tribal support activities (scouting, hunting, building etc.) around some subdivision of the lunar cycle.  Consciously dividing the lunar cycle into quarters was convenient.  And, perhaps we've evolved over the last 10,000 years into beings that gravitate into a 'reset' every eight to ten days.  A cycle that could enhance compatibility with a 28-day cycle yet include the desire to mate with fertile females who weren't in synchrony.

    -- --

    OTOH, a creator may have given man a seven-day week (complete with Sabbath) and a 28-day lunar calendar for his mate(s).

    I tend to think that the seven-day week was a natural attempt to divide the lunar cycle into four rather equal periods of time that were easily identifiable by horny males.

     ah, the French with their ten-day week !  :)

    enjoy...  rook
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    "...Did our ancient male ancestors practice ejaculatory control? If so why would that be? I think they did... but not consciously. The males opportunity for copulation was largely influenced by the receptivity of the female. Her receptivity was influenced by her menstrual cycle. Her menstrual cycle (along with other female members of the tribe) may have been synchronized to the Lunar cycle...."

    I find the above an interesting statement, but have been confused, but delighted, by evidence to the contrary presented in the book I am now reading.  I mention it here as "food for thought" and would encourage others to take a look, if indeed they haven't read it already.

    The book is called "Sex at Dawn - a Prehistory of Modern Sex", which you can download free - just need to Google it.  There is a lot of discussion about ourselves, our ancestors, modern day tribes, and bonobo chimps, with whom we are more genetically closely related than any other species (not the same as chimpanzees, by the way).  One thing that is often discussed in the book is that humans and bonobos share many characteristics, that include continual sexual receptivity, the non-advertisement (or concealment) of ovulation, and the a tendency towards simultaneous multiple sexual relationships.

    To our modern "civilised" ears the last sounds intrinsically wrong, but there is a strong case that monogamy is not at all our natural state.  They argue that sharing partners on a regular ongoing basis, encouraged intra-group cohesion and sharing of food, shelter and water.

    Not advertising ovulations (as with chimpanzees, where the entire rear end of the female swells and reddens) means that no human or bonobo male would normally know when the peak of fertility would be in a female.  Multiple partners means that in a "natural" state, there is no way of knowing who the father was. Having multiple partners encourages not only group cohesion, and sharing of food, but also includes the shared rearing of children.  They argue the basic unit for humans, is the community, and not the family.

    Males and females are more or less continually sexually receptive, and there is little in the way of a break in this, not even when the female has passed her ovulatory peak.

    There were plenty of implications that come from this, including:
    • Males could have sex with each other, as well as with females - and still do in many modern tribal communities.  Something like 47% of Males in the US felt they were bisexual (Kinsey) - and these are only those who admitted it.
    • Females would lactate for 5 or 6 years with a baby/young child, since there was no alternative feed, and this is a natural birth control.  All this time, she could be having sexual relations with other men, and there would be no sexual cycle, and no fear of pregnancy.
    • Communities where monogamy is not practised, encourage its members to respect the autonomy of other people and their decisions, which means that jealousy would be relatively rare, and ironically would be chastised by other members of the community.

    So what role did/does non-ejaculation have in these communities?  Difficult to say.  But it is likely that people would have been more in touch with their sexuality in these relatively angst free times, and non-ejaculation as with Taoists, would have been seen as a way of enhancing the experience, and possibly as a route to a more spiritual dimension, as some of us do today.

    Aliens looking down on this planet would see continual sexual receptivity is a hall mark of what it is to be human (and a bonobo chimp - our closest relative).  This feature (along with concealed ovulation, and simultaneous multiple sexual relationships), does not occur in any other species. It did not evolve perversely to frustrate human individuals, since this frustration would be counter-productive.  It seems to have evolved for very specific reasons that gave us an advantage over other species, where group cohesion and sharing of food and sex is not a major feature.

    Like I said - food for thought.

  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,834
    I'd offer that Bonobos might be more advanced than we. 

     IIRC an article in National Geographic discussed how male Bonobos use sign language to inform a female of which position to assume for sex.   Remarkable how they do that without the benefit of cell phones for Sexting!  ;-)

    No clue what the refractory might be for a Bonobo.  Perhaps though they have mastered MMO techniques.  :)

  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    LOL - Rook - well they would be more advanced than us if they DON'T mess around with mobile phones/cell phones all the time.

    I assume the refractory period is quite short for bonobos, given that they almost have sex to say hello.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    OK Guys, I'm going to try and steer this thread back toward the intended topic - temporal abstinence and Aneros usage, altering ones choice of ejaculatory frequency times in order to enhance arousal level.

    While the Bonobo's social behavior with regard to sexuality may offer clues to our (human beings) own evolutionary behaviors. The Bonobo's use of sexual intercourse as a form of "greeting" may be similar to the human gesture of hugging, it may be, for the Bonobo males, this "greeting" is a non-ejaculatory event as well. So maybe they too are practicing some temporal abstinence.

    In any event, there is substantial anecdotal and some scientific evidence to suggest that ejaculation frequency does have a significant affect on a male's arousal level. This evidence does not imply you should avoid coitus or self-stimulation to the level of dry-orgasms, it merely indicates your overall arousal level will be improved by not ejaculating too frequently.

    For those newbies who think they can force a Super-O to occur by trying harder, going longer or having more frequent Anerosessions, you are just fooling yourself into a frustrating loop. I solidly agree with 'BF Mayfield's early observation that a high arousal level is essential to getting to a Super-O and temporal abstinence is one tool for increasing your arousal level. I also agree with his statement "Of course there's only one way to know for sure how it will work for you.....experiment. (I have found it helpful myself)."
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 392
    I made it 8 days and it wasn't my balls that were on fire, it was my ass.

    I need to sit on a mountian top and think deep thoughts just to keep up. You guys are amazing.

  • Rumel, 

    I have only read your first post at this time, and will read the many more informative posts in due time.  I did want to quickly say that you have answered several questions I have had all at once in that first post.  So, thank you.  You are always a gift bring such wonderful information in a clear and captivating manner.  Thanks for all the work you do to make all of us as informed as we can be.  You hard work, if viewed and applied, can be beneficial to all of us.  
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,782
    In a few more days I'll be at a months time of abstinence. And I find it helpful, and oddly enough I don't seem to have strong urges to masturbate, or my willpower is strong. Or perhaps my body is not as sexually charged as it once was when I was younger. Either way, here's something I've noticed...

    For most of this past year I've been ejaculating about once a week. As this is what seemed helpful, and in a lot of cases I couldn't control myself to do otherwise. But once I started this most recent long round of abstinence, I realized I was wrong. After I got past the week and half point I started to notice that I had stronger more pleasurable Aneros sessions, and less desire to masturbate. So I guess I'm going to keep doing this until I have some reason to ejaculate, or something amazing happens during my Aneros sessions.
  • braveneworldbraveneworld
    Posts: 1,101
    Congratulations @Loveis You have done well to go that long.
    I am still trying up to day 3 again :) 
    Day three and I have been having p-waves all day waiting for when I go to bed and my session will start and then finish in the morning when I get out of bed fi it does not go on all morning. Just depends on when I have to getup.
    Whats different on day three than from day two. Day two is just p-waves, day three is p-waves and heart racing all day and intensifying the closer I get to my session.
    Since getting into aneros (or is that the other way around) I have not got past 3.5 days of abstinence.
    To get to a month is going to be real tough!
    Well done. 

    You know your gagging for it when you get all exited inside your body when you just doing the dishes...
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    I've revived this thread because I think it is germane to 'BigOluver's challenge thread (related to Alex Vartman's 21 Day Challenge) to avoid ejaculation. As the men in that thread and this thread have found, Avoiding ejaculation for a period of time does increase one's overall arousal factor and for some, who have made it through the that 7-10 day period, a new found sense of energy and well being.

    The question you may now be asking yourself is "How can I maintain this new level of vitality/arousal?" The simple answer is you can maintain it by no longer ejaculating but for most of us that isn't an option we want to adopt. Ejaculations are natural, probably systemically beneficial and feel great. Men in relationships may have partners who take satisfaction in seeing/feeling their man have these ejaculatory orgasms so they should continue to share these with their partners, just less frequently. Men with out partners really have the greatest flexibility here, you can choose to ejaculate with or without a partner as mood suits. Whether you are in a partnership or not, this fact remains, once you ejaculate, you have hit your reset button and will then have to go through the arousal/hormone cycle anew. For young men, this may be more difficult, but for older men, this may actually be a welcome re-enervation period. Since you've already gone through it, you know it is not so bad and the next cycle through will be easier, as will each subsequent cycle, but what about trying to actually maintain that arousal level indefinitely?

    It may be possible to maintain that vitality/arousal at a high level indefinitely by avoiding ejaculations altogether. Regular use of your Aneros massagers and periodic prostate milking will enable you to avoid the hormonal crash induced by ejaculations without sacrificing the healthful benefits of "cleaning the pipes". Regular milking (once every 7-10 days) will take the edge off the urge to ejaculate without tripping the reset button so you're still functioning at high arousal energy levels. Such a regime moves you closer to Taoist practices of semen retention to preserve 'Chi' energy as well.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    @Rumel - Thanks for the update.

    I still use temporary ejaculatory abstinence, and consider it an integral part of my multi-orgasmic practices, alongside my aneros models (of course), and aneros-less experiences - particularly light nipple stimulation.

    I now go from between 7 to 14 days without ejaculating (I am 51 years old).  An interesting point is that sex after having avoided ejaculation, is FILLED with multi-orgasmic experiences.  I almost feel the need to apologise sometimes, lest my partner thinks I am a bit of a freak, or that I am enjoying it just a little too much!

    Aneros-less experiences from just recalling the feeling, are becoming increasingly common.

    I still enjoy masturbation every-so-often, but I rarely ejaculate these days.  I have multiple orgasms from these sessions too, and since my many dry orgasms have the capacity to be far more intense than a wet orgasm, I do not hanker after the latter quite so much any more. I 
    think that qualifies these dry orgasms as "Super-Os" although I don't used that term very often.

    On the downside - I
    sometimes feel a large psychological, and energy dip after ejaculating, though not always - going from so HIGH to so LOW, is a bit of a shock to the system.  This is a small price to pay however.

    I also don't find it at all satisfying any more to have "quick sex" or that where "dashing to the finishing line" is the primary objective.  I never loved it before, but I was more tolerant of it.  I have wondered whether I am leaving many people behind in my sexual exploration, and whether this limits the opportunities for fulfilling sex?  However, I am committed to this path, and if that IS the case, then so be it.
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008

    A great deal of what you have expressed here applies to me too. I suspect this is something to do with slowing down as we age and I am so grateful for that. Sex in all its varied forms is so much more enjoyable after the age of fifty if you give it the chance and take the time to relax and enjoy it.

    Good on you Brother!
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    @Pommie - yes, I am sure that some of this is down to getting older.

    I am glad I am not alone in my feelings about this.

    Thanks, and all the best