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I need help getting over the edge...
  • First time poster, have skimmed this forum here and there in the past. Have done some basic searches, but I'm hoping you guys might have some ideas for my personal situation. I just need help getting over the edge and finally hitting that super-o I keep reading about!

    So a bit about my background... 27 year old Caucasian male, straight, I've been dabbling with anal play for a few years, and have been using actual prostate toys for just over a year now. I've tried multiple different toys, some vibes some not. The most notable toys I have used are a cheap "classix" toy that seems to be a knock off of the Helix. I bought a regular Progasm around 6 months ago. Both toys have gotten me super close in their own ways, in multiple different positions. Overall I think my cheap knockoff toy has gotten me the closest consistently, the Progasm also had me super happy one day, but overall the Progasm ends up getting slightly uncomfortable after too much use. My normal lube is "Slippery Stuff" which I inject with a syringe (sans needle of course!) I also have some natural Shae butter which I have experimented with. I get some great feelings and contractions on my back, on my left side in the proper form, and even on all 4's in a sort of doggy style position. Tried legs apart, together, pillow under lower back, every different position Ive read about and found to work myself, still nothing has pushed me over the edge. Ive tried slight pleasure to the front of the penis head when contractions were powerful to try and coax it over, still nothing. Hands off for hours, lots of somewhat enjoyable fun but never a real orgasm until I masturbate as usual. I've modified both toys by removing the back tail piece which has helped the feeling and usability in both quite a lot. Ive tried using while watching porn, while watching nothing, in the dark, in the tub, etc...

    So at this point, I need any pointers you guys have to help me cross the finish line. My actual interaction will usually entail me heavily lubing, sometimes using a douche beforehand, then laying back and watching some hot porn while just letting it sit and start feeling good on its own. Ive tried literally doing nothing for 30+ minutes, until I feel the minor sparks stop and get the urge to start slowly contracting my muscle. The involuntary contractions usually come on pretty quickly, and like many people I can now getting those nice feeling contractions anytime without the toy in. Just sitting at work at mantrap (security at a casino) while leaning forward and slightly contracting my anal / pc muscles brings on some nice feeling contractions. I do get some decent precum going on, varies on the day / arousal. My frustrations lies with what feels like the end being so close, but never happening... I clear my mind, get my patience at full strength, then start my session. The part where I need help is when the contractions start getting more intense and pleasure filled, usually giving me a rock hard erection because it feels good and my body starts "feeling" like something awesome is about to happen. But it doesnt, and after 10+ minutes of this state of powerful contractions and rock hard erection, it just slows down and my body gets tired of it. I don't know how to coax it to finish! Ive tried multiple different tempos at this point, contracting different muscle groups at different speeds / strengths, experimented with so many different things when I reach this point, and nothing seems to work. I just end up giving myself a very nice regular wet orgasm and move on from there...

    So help me veterans! I've been at this a while and consider myself to be fairly experienced with the anal play and aneros use, I just need to finally feel that ecstasy of a super-o! Any help is appreciated, thanks for reading... :)
  • Clarification: I meant *right* side, not left. Tried both, but on my right side with the left leg pulled up and right leg somewhat extended seems pretty good. I still feel most comfortable right on my back with my legs spread, though the ass muscle near my hips start to cramp up bad after too much use, usually once the contractions start feeling good. =/

    Also I forgot to mention, the abutment tab that hits my perineum seems to be very hit or miss. Ive tried pulling different amounts of skin into that area varying the "tightness" and where it hits. I usually notice that when my erection becomes very strong that it will no longer stay in the middle where it should, as my urethra and lower penis pushes it to one side of the other. Thinking about trying to add something to it to increase the area of the tab, perhaps half of a 25cent bouncy ball or something like that. I have wondered if that tab not staying solid might really be a huge part of why I cant get over the edge... But even during sessions where I do not have an erection or lose it but keep going, the tab will stay in the right spot as it is no longer being pushes aside by the erect urethra... Same solid contractions and awesome feeling in my prostate, proper placement but no super-o.

    Hopefully Ive been pretty descriptive for you guys, this is about all I can think of! :D
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    Hi ViciousEMT,

    Welcome to the Aneros Forums. I congratulate you for having the wisdom to to do some reading on this Forum and as you have no doubt found, you are not alone in what you are experiencing. From your description you have done good prepatory work on the physical aspects of Aneros use but it seems you are still holding on to some old thought paradigms as to what constitutes an orgasm and specifically what constitutes a Super-O[QUOTE=ViciousEMT;100361]I just need help getting over the edge and finally hitting that super-o I keep reading about! ...Tried legs apart, together, pillow under lower back, every different position Ive read about and found to work myself, still nothing has pushed me over the edge. Ive tried slight pleasure to the front of the penis head when contractions were powerful to try and coax it over, still nothing. Hands off for hours, lots of somewhat enjoyable fun but never a real orgasm until I masturbate as usual. ... So at this point, I need any pointers you guys have to help me cross the finish line. My frustrations lies with what feels like the end being so close, but never happening...What if I told you there is NO EDGE to fall over, what if there is NO FINISH LINE to cross? What if you were already experiencing a "...real orgasm..." ? It seems to me you are expecting a Super-O to be like an enhanced traditional penile based ejaculatory orgasm. The trouble with that expectation is that is not what a Super-O is. I hope you will take the time to read the Penis, NOT! thread by 'Cockadoodle' and 'rook's thread Whole Body/Whole Mind - the mental side for a little insight into the mental side of this practice.

    From the description of your experiences, your body is ready to make the transition to the other side of the veil. I clear my mind, get my patience at full strength, then start my session. The part where I need help is when the contractions start getting more intense and pleasure filled, usually giving me a rock hard erection because it feels good and my body starts "feeling" like something awesome is about to happen. But it doesn't, and after 10+ minutes of this state of powerful contractions and rock hard erection, it just slows down and my body gets tired of it. I don't know how to coax it to finish! Ive tried multiple different tempos at this point, contracting different muscle groups at different speeds / strengths, experimented with so many different things when I reach this point, and nothing seems to work. I just end up giving myself a very nice regular wet orgasm and move on from there...You have let your impatience win out here and dropped back into the tradfitional thought paradigm of an ejaculatory orgasm, you are 'pushing' the situation and over thinking about a way to force your way forward here, IT WON'T WORK. This is the point in your Anerosession when relaxing and 'just letting go' will yield the most benefit. Let go of your expectation for any kind of orgasm, let go of consciously directing your body, let go of your association to penile orgasm, let go of your ego's need to have any particular outcome from the session. This is the point in your Anerosession when you just need to let your body direct the action and allow the "...something awesome..." to occur.
  • hydrogen
    Posts: 115
    You're barking at the wrong tree.

    Forget the mechanism. If a guy has a flaccid penis with ED problem, do you think different jerk off method will get him hard on?

    You don't a particular problem. You should read the wiki section to get a basic idea before wasting more of your time and ours.

    Forget the porn, listen to some music recommended by rumel.
  • To me it sounds like you are doing everything right already EMT. Man, what's wrong with just playing around with it and enjoying the anticipation of something happening even if it doesnt. It still feels awesome right? I know something is happening and "see" the results... in other words I have noticed my volume of ejaculate double and sometimes tripple depending on how long I use the Helix. I like playing around with it till I can't stand it anymore and have to finish if you know what I mean. Have fun.
  • Thanks for the replies. As you guys hinted at, I most definitely have dropped the whole "expectations" at least during the session. Of course afterward while I'm back in the real world, one cant help but wish he could feel the real thing after investing so much time and effort over the past few years.

    After re-reading the long post which CaveofMystery started, I did try to touch more on his "tug of war" theory today, and I definitely started feeling something different. It wasn't much of a serious session as I just lifted weights a few hours ago and had a long night at work (graveyard shift is no good) but I could tell that I should have been working on this alternating of the muscle groups more by now. I'll try this more next time, I hope to get a nice session on my weekend coming up. :)

    For the record, I have exhaustively read the Wiki and most of the major FAQ topics, such as B's thread and many others. I was really just hoping someone might have any other tips I may have missed, or have been in my same position. Try to see what their X factor was to finally moving past this "writers block" of sorts. And as I mentioned before, I usually just use the porn as a method of arousal, once I'm in the mood I either turn the volume down and close my eyes, or just turn it off. I know I'm doing most everything right compared to the average newbie user, I guess it really is the mental aspect I need to work on most.

    And aneros_user50009, very valid point my friend. That is another reason why I have been able to move beyond the expectations while I am using the aneros. On top of the contractions and minor P-waves that I have learned to produce at any time while even just sitting in a chair, I've learned and mastered different forms of regular ejaculation. Not necessarily helpful, but interesting. Such as, ever since I've started using the Aneros regularly, Ive learned that I can masturbate until right up to that point of no return and stop, get those regular orgasmic feelings but a decent amount of semen comes out, as if half of a normal ejaculation. With no refractory phase, so I can keep doing this until I'm pretty much empty inside. I've also made some steps toward multiple orgasm and being able to control ejaculation by clamping down the PC muscle as ejaculation occurs. Ive managed to get 2 orgasms before the refractory phase set in, though the second one was close, I was barely half mast by the time it finished. But its some progress! :D
  • hydrogen
    Posts: 115
    [QUOTE=ViciousEMT;100374]

    It wasn't much of a serious session as I just lifted weights a few hours ago and had a long night at work.

    :D

    It's not important. Lack of sleep may help you achieve super-O.

    Those binaural beats CD really helps. You should give it a try. Kelly Howell - Ecstacy, Binaural beats meditation Part 1 of 3 - YouTube

    Weed definitely help me big way. Due to your job, you might not be able to take it.

    Let me tell you one of my mini-o experience. I was in the preparation for my session. I hadn't finished my smoke yet. My sick gf wanted me to talk to her. Reluctantly I moved into the bedroom to sit beside her. While talking to her, I started my contraction without my Aneros inside.

    Usually she's hard to talk to. She's sarcastic and likes to argue. She's surprisingly mellow and agreeable on her sick bed. We talked various topics. I told her that I was practicing a form of Chi Kong without telling her Aneros. She talked about her struggle with lfe, I felt sorry for her. I promised her that I'd learn Chi Hong and I'd transfer my energy to her once I knew how. She started crying. I hugged her to comfort her. I had REAL sympathy for her. Suddenly a wave of emotion washed my body. I felt I was in different state.

    I lay down beside her and held her hand. We just relaxed and did some small talk once in a while. My p-wave turned into a mini-O in a short time.

    To sum it up, I had a mini-O without Aneros, CD or porn of any form. Your hurdle is your mind. The right thinking is the key. Only real feeling can get you over. That's why porn is preferred method. I guess lots of guys truly LOVE porn.


    Disclaimer: I only got to mini-o stage, not super-o yet.
  • Thanks for the more constructive reply this time hydrogen. Im going to prep soon and try the music you recommended along with a different approach to the different muscle interaction. ^_^
  • hydrogen
    Posts: 115
    [QUOTE=ViciousEMT;100452]Thanks for the more constructive reply this time hydrogen. Im going to prep soon and try the music you recommended along with a different approach to the different muscle interaction. ^_^

    I think there are three ways to move Aneros to massage your prostate: muscle, air and music(mind).

    1. Muscle. You can contract the sphincter and PC to move aneros. It's the foundation or the manual kick start of the pleasure engine.

    I think you've reached plateau with your direct muscle manipulation.

    2. breath move Aneros. When you move your lung diaphragm up and down, you move the Aneros.

    You have to do belly breath to feel this. If you breath via your chest, it's hard for you to move Aneros with your breath.
    When you get P-wave, do a "ocean breath" (look up online) with your pc muscle lifted up just a little. You should move the vibration down there.

    3. Music/mind move Aneros.

    When I listen to music and look in the mirror, I can see my Aneros literally dancing with the music.
    I'm sure the music didn't move my Aneros directly. But somehow I feel the music direct my aneros like the baton in a conductor's hand. However it's the music direct Aneros, not another way around.

    If you can get this stage, you might get mini-O. I haven't figure out how to get to super-O yet. I think genuine emotion might be one of the factor: love, sympathy, lust, fear, desperation or submissiveness. However I want to get there via good emotion. Otherwise, a perpetual nightmare might occur.

    I'm not worried. I'll dedicate my life to get there and beyond. I truly believe there is a better state of mind above super-O. Aneros is one of tools helps me to get there.
  • Clenchy
    Posts: 100
    [QUOTE=rumel;100368]What if I told you there is NO EDGE to fall over, what if there is NO FINISH LINE to cross? What if you were already experiencing a "...real orgasm..." ?
    I was reading the forum last night and brought this thought with me into my session. This thought and the advice on it all being a paradigm shift. Probably my best session yet.

    I realized I have mental involuntaries that make me grab the controls and try to steer the sensations when they start to pick up.
    What I'm slowly getting through my head is that I shouldn't try to steer because I truly don't know where I'm going.
    Every second I'm experiencing some pleasure, I'm focusing on what the next level up should be. Trying to build the pleasure.
    Maybe this is what got me through the initial "I don't feel anything" stages, but is something that I need to abandon now that my prostate is more awakened and my muscles are able to work on their own.
    Typically we can push over the edge with traditional masturbation and it's hard to let that go of that enough.
    If the aneros is able to do its thing without coercion, then get your head into a fantasy instead of worrying about the movement.

    I've broken through to a place now where physical control of the aneros seems really abstracted, it's as if I'm not directly using muscles, but using something else very subtle and intangible that uses the muscles for me. It's like (the rare occasions) when I have the aneros moving back and forth like a tiny windscreen-wiper over my prostate, I have no idea how I'm doing it, but I feel like I'm making it happen. So weird.