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Need advice for dry-orgasm, did it almost happen?
  • KorkelzKorkelz
    Posts: 294
    I've become determined to have a dry orgasm; so for maybe a week now (?) I have not had an orgasm. I am now at a place where I am sexually hyper-sensitive and feeling stimulated and P-waves even from the subtle vibrations of driving a car, when I'm just thinking about "stuff," and last night I couldn't get to sleep because the fan was on causing the sheet to flutter on top of "a hard one" and it felt very stimulating.

    This morning my wife was touching my nipples and at one point I felt like something was going to spill out of me and I was afraid it was going to be urine (it's morning, i usually go to the bathroom at this time) but it almost doesn't make sense that it would be urine because every sensation was feeling amazing at the time and there were definitely drops of pre-cum. Also, I once read that along with a dry orgasm is the feeling of something flowing out of you like a normal orgasm even when nothing is coming out.

    I've never had a dry orgasm yet and I'm looking for anyone who can set me straight based on their experiences.

    So, I always like to ask questions and then give advice/opinions based on my personal experience to help others on their path:

    1. I've been having my wife touch me everywhere avoiding the penis. Nipples, balls, shaft, perineum, and lately everything is creating awesome sensations. However, she "grabs me" sometimes and gives the tip a touch here and there, that's all good. Do not do anything that leads to a normal orgasm or brings you close or on the edge. If you must please your wife (intercourse), try not to have an orgasm (I'm not much help here, sorry!) All this will lead to an ever-increasing state of constant arousal and sexual sensitivity.

    2. Tune in on any little pleasure wave. Experience it, engross your mind in it. Do kegel exercises while being stimulated and while not, try to feel the sexual stimulation of mere kegel excercises. Feel pleasure waves in the mere uncontrollable hardening of the penis.

    3. Use your imagination, think of the most sexually exciting thing (if you're married try not to think of other individual/specific women at least, but maybe a hoard of evil women that capture you because they need your seed and are sexually "torturing" you until you explode to harvest and unleash more evil children upon the world, YOU DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!.. that's one idea). Since you're not stimulating the penis, free yourself to just experience pleasure for an unlimited amount without worry of going through the dreaded refactory period.

    4. Be totally "out of control" with your body and sexual pleasure. You want to create situations where your wife is touching you without you saying anything (in other words be less in control of your sexual pleasure). Try not to touch yourself unless you have to (i.e. not married). You want to feel like your body is just FORCING sexual pleasure on you. You're not even doing anything and you can't go to sleep, it's hard to ignore, your body just keeps slamming you with P-waves and you're getting erections with the slightest vibration, touch, caress, or thoughts. Your erection is trying to rip out of your clothing and explode, and you can't do a damn thing about it!

    5. Lastly, don't let your body trick you into having a normal orgasm. If your body is dying to have an orgasm and dying to explode, "torture" it until it gives in to having a dry orgasm.

    -thank you,
  • slimjmslimjm
    Posts: 575
    Interesting thoughts, Korkelz. Nothing wrong with having determination to reach the stage of having dry orgasms, just don' t forget to savor all the interesting sensations along the way there. I've been working a year with the Aneros, and started having dry orgasms about four months ago. Though it's natural to assume, as I did, that they would come more readily with heightened degrees of sexual arousal, I personally have seen no clear pattern, some of the most intense dry orgasms coming the next night after having great sex with my wife, others coming 3 to 5 days following traditional ejaculation. If I've seen any pattern personally, it's that denying yourself traditional ejaculation for a extended period of time--like a week or more such as would intensify a traditional orgasm--seems to make it harder, at least in my case, for dry orgasms to come.

    Despite inviting her, my wife is uninterested in my sessions but I do experience heightened sensations by touching exactly the areas you describe, including occasional light touches to the tip of the penis, great care being given however to avoid "usual" penile stimulation that could initiate a traditional orgasmic buildup. Largely, however, it is sustained light caressing of my nipples through my sessions that is the main trigger for the dry orgasms to come. My conservative Christian background brings traditional values into our marriage as to my being responsible for pleasing my wife sexually, perhaps not unlike as in your marriage, but I too find that feeling of "loss of control" when I'm being stimulated by the Aneros really helps the dry orgasms to come.
  • KorkelzKorkelz
    Posts: 294
    Yes, I hear you. Maybe my advice isn't as good as yours, I hope no one feels like I know exactly what I'm talking about.

    Hey SlimJim, you say that the whole denying thing makes it more difficult for dry orgasm in your experience, but OH MAN I love how I feel, and I love every little sensation. I feel like I'm really close to having a dry orgasm, like my body is becoming an unstable checmical that continues to be agitated to the brink of explosion. The most intense feelings I had was the time I am inquiring about now. But that is *very* interesting that you see no pattern to your dry orgasms, that makes me even more excited to unlock that kind of potential in myself.

    I just feel like when I have a traditional orgasm, I lose all my arousal, the p-waves, the intense nipple stim feelings, etc. Yeah, I'm not *just* denying myself, I'm loving how it makes me feel way more than a traditional orgasm could make me feel. My wife loves it too actually, she likes how turned on I get toward her and she would rather me be like that than have a traditional orgasm as well.

    Yeah SlimJim, I really wish I could give my wife amazing sexual experiences, and she feels I do please her, I do my best, but sometimes I need to back off and let her desire to be pleased come from her and not me. But that's a whole other discussion!
  • TremeloTremelo
    Posts: 141
    I read some advice here last year that led to my first dry O's within about ten days.

    It suggested simply learning how to press the Aneros steadily forward against the prostate and holding it there, feeling the vibrations through the pressure, until finally the body just "caves" and gives in and dry comes. (And in my case, I was viewing striptease vids to provide the arousal.) It really did pay off for me, first with about half a dozen in one night, and then many more the next day, and then the ability to do so as much as I wanted the next night. (Didn't hurt that I was really/particularly excited by those vids at the time.). Basically learned how to virtually pummel the wind out of myself with them. (And I can't EVEN describe how exciting that was!)

    Significantly, once I learned that I could force it like that (and thereby suffer no fear of frustration), I could then relax and start just surrendering to involuntaries to see what they'd bring me, which has been the fantastic journey ever since/of the last year. In practice, I don't think I've "forced one" in all the time since that early exercise (and became abundantly super-orgasmic months ago, purely through surrender.)

    Does anyone remember whose advice that was? Would love to give them credit. And gratitude. And their own island kingdom. :-)