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Another "should I get this?" thread
  • somejoesomejoe
    Posts: 10
    Saw another recent "should I get this?" thread. I'm interested in the helix, but I have some concerns.

    First of all, I'm totally new to anal play. But I'm not worried about turning gay. I'm strait, but have no problem with trying out the other end. But I'm a little worried about other things:

    First, I have a personality that is prone to addiction. I read the wiki thread about the psychological effects. Just wonder what some of you have to say (especially from those of you who find a lot of other things in life addicting).

    Second, I'm married. How will this affect me when I'm having sex with her? I mentioned the aneros to my wife, and she hasn't shown positive opinion about it. Part of it is that it seems sort of gay to her and unhealthy and gross. Don't worry about me. I don't have those feelings. No need to correct my thinking in that respect. Anyways she hasn't said 'no' either. My grandfather died of prostate cancer, so the prostate health argument carries weight.

    Anyways, my concern is... how will this affect normal penis in vagina sex? Will I like normal sex less? Making normal sex any worse with her would definitely not be good. However, if the aneros indirectly made me better with penis in vagina sex (without using the aneros) then that would be good for her.

    Her opinion of things could change, especially if I become better with her. But it could also backfire if things don't turn out so well in bed.

    Unless she has a change of opinion, I obviously wouldn't be using it when with her. I'm sure both aneros and normal sex is really good, but I won't expect that to happen. So that option is ruled out for now.

    Also, I read the "Women Too" chapter and the "wife's perspective," but it doesn't seem to apply much to someone who doesn't expect to enjoy it with his wife. (though hopefully that could change in my case).
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,435
    (Note : Underlined Text is a Hyper-Link)

    Welcome to the Aneros General Discussion Forum,

    The fact you have no homophobic myths floating around in your head is a good base to begin with. The fact you are aware of your own personality's susceptibility to addictive behavior is definitely a plus as well because you can then plan and prepare for possible problem influences. You've already demonstrated your willingness to learn and adapt by taking the initiative to perform some due diligence research by reading some of the Aneros WIKI and the Sticky : A Wife's Perpective thread. These are all very good attributes to help smooth the way for your journey.

    IMHO, sexual pleasure is more than 90% determined by your mental state, not the functioning of your physical equipment. If your mind is preoccupied with other thoughts you probably won't enjoy much any sensual/sexual experience. With that being said, here's my thoughts in response to your questions :

    ”How will this affect me when I'm having sex with her? This is impossible to predict, only you can foresee that. My guess is that in respect to the physical act, initially and sans Aneros, very little will be affected but as you become more in tune with and knowledgeable about your own body as a result of the 'rewiring' process you will become more sensitive to, aware of, and responsive to the body language of your wife during lovemaking. Whole books have been written about the effects of sex and orgasm on peoples lives. It is part of the great mystery of our existence.

    ”How will this affect normal penis in vagina sex?” Probably not at all initially, although use of the Aneros may lead to a flaccid penis, additional manual stimulation may be necessary to accomplish sufficient erection for normal intercourse. As you develop further experience from solo Anerosessions and learn relaxation techniques, you may find that your ability to relax during normal coitus will allow you to last longer and enjoy more the sensations of your union before experiencing an ejaculatory orgasm. This time extension may or may not please your partner, it depends upon what you both want at the time.

    ”Will I like normal sex less?” I doubt you will lose any interest in normal sex if you find your current sexual activities fun and exciting. Aneros use only expands the possibilities for varied sensual experiences. This expansion can definitely include a partner (though in early learning, I recommend solo sessions). Obviously, your wife's attitude will have an impact on your approach and use of these wonderful little devices, as such her emotions, actions and reactions will affect your sexual relationship. Your Aneros massager can never replace or act as a substitute for a warm, loving physical relationship between two people and a piece of plastic will never return love or provide the emotional support of another human being.

    As regards to enlisting your wife's support for your use of an Aneros for prostate health reasons, I think that is a good approach. While there is no proof that prostate massage will decrease your odds of developing prostate cancer, there is anecdotal evidence. Asian men have a statistically lower incidence of prostate cancer and traditional oriental medicine does include practice of prostate massage. Common sense would also agree with the argument that increased blood flow due to massage is healthful for a number of reasons. You could perhaps get your wife to visit the High Island Health website.

    High Island Health LLC is the parent company & manufacturer of the Aneros® brand of prostate massagers. This patented device was originally and is currently offered for sale as the Pro-State® line of massagers on the High Island Health website. The HIH website is primarily oriented toward the health aspects and benefits of prostate massage in accord with Oriental medicine for prostate related issues. A forum for users to discuss practice with these devices also exists on that website, I encourage you to check out that site to learn more about the health benefits, the ongoing Columbia University study using the Pro-State massagers and testimonials from users regarding their experiences. The Aneros® website, by contrast, is oriented toward the sensual pleasure aspects of prostate massage.

    Finally, getting back to your original concern about model selection, I recommend that you first read the following : Selection Guide from the Aneros HOME page, "Choosing a Model" from the WIKI and “Which model is best for new users?” from the Community Polls Forum. For additional information and reviews, you may wish to read the Sticky: ANEROS THE NEXT GEN, PROGASM, & PERIDISE REVIEWED.
    Typically, I recommend either the Helix or MGX models for beginners. Incidentally, if you purchase the MGX through the Aneros website you can get a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied.

  • Anyways, my concern is... how will this affect normal penis in vagina sex? Will I like normal sex less? Making normal sex any worse with her would definitely not be good. However, if the aneros indirectly made me better with penis in vagina sex (without using the aneros) then that would be good for her.

    It had a positive effect for me. Things were getting a little paint-by-the-numbers. Aneros opened my eyes to see new possibilities. I am much more willing to explore new ideas. This forum is great too, the collective knowledge of the members is incredible. I have learned so many new things to get creative with, it's been a great time!

    P.S. Yes, get the Helix! :D
  • Hello Some Joe,

    My wife has the same general feeling toward the aneros as yours does. She thinks that it is somewhat gay and while she has some issues about the topic I do not. She would rather not know about my sessions or be a part of them but she does not completely dissaprove. The best thing I have found is o not let your journey interfere with sex with your wife and everything will be fine. There are days where I will have a great aneros session and later in the day when my wife is around we have some of the best sex we have ever had. I am not saying it will improve your sex life but it can help to fuel your desire for sex and as long as you make sure your wife's needs are satisfied you should have no problem exploring new realms.
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,759
    Here's a parallel thread on the same topic:

    What worked... we first bought some new g-spot tools for her. Then, went (together) to our local leather store and bought a Helix for me. She put it on her credit card.
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,488
    Perfect rook!! :D :D

    Hi and welcome somejoe!! :D

    One of the possible effects of this practice is awakening one's sense of the bio-electric energies moving through your body, and your wife's body. This is a usually a later more advanced effect of having learned to separate your orgasmic response from your ejaculatory response and entering the wonderful world of dry multiple orgasms and their many many manifestations.

    Your wife may also develop that sense of these energies passing between you during slower gentler intercourse. See my blog on developing this and some references for books on techniques. There are many things here that could open up and expand your spousal sexual adventures too! :D :D

    keep up the good research and practices as your journey unfolds for you both