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I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!!! (A bit of comic relief)
  • Diesel2215Diesel2215
    Posts: 105
    Firstly I would like to start by saying I love my wife with all my heart, and would never do anything to embarrass her, This is more of a dig at me.

    OK so most guys like me are pervs!! I have been married for 11 years and happily so! And since about the third year of marriage developed a fetish with Anal Sex (most guys do) you know the "forbidden fruity" thing.

    So like the devious little devil I am i started introducing my wife to anal play, mostly when we were a little tipsy. I never ever pushed the issue, if I sensed a little apprehension I would stop. I have and always will be a gentleman when it comes to things like that. Sometimes she really got into it (finger only).
    So decided if I expected her to do it, then I should first, that is how I stumbled onto the Aneros site. I purchased my first one and broke the news to her. As I mentioned in my other post, It wasn't met with much enthusiasm. So I purchased the Peridise beginners set. And introduced it to her when we both indulged in a little "Mountain Cabbage" All went well but she couldn't take double penetration as she is A tiny petite lady.

    So we went away for a dirty weekend and got really drunk and stoned. We had never used a condom in our marriage before, and she had mentioned she would like to try it. In the little chalet where we stayed they had a little home made container with disposable razor, plasters, sanitary pad and a condom. So my wife says "Hay lets try use a condom" I say "Cool" and on it goes. We start to make love and she turns around (my favourite position) and I'm going at it like a mad man, she moaning and I think she came, well it sounded like it. Then I remember she likes it missionary. So I turn her around, she looks at me and says in a very seductive voice "So did you like ....... me in the >>>" I couldn't believe it I FUCKING MISSED IT, and she instigated it, she had it all planned out. Just then I pull out and try go THERE again, I got half my head in and came from the excitement. I couldn't go again.
    Six freaking years of devious, cunning planning....... and I freaking missed it.

    Just thought if I can laugh about it, it will stop me for crying. lol
  • thhnthhn
    Posts: 426
    now that's funny! but I am sure you will get there again, lets just hope it isn't another six years
    Like you, I have always wanted to indulge in anal play with hopes of one day actually going all the way. My wife has always been a bit squeamish about that sort of thing so I have never pushed it.
    I have been happily married for almost 30 years and several months ago I had this change of heart (must be the 50's thing) and decided no more tiptoeing around issues. I put it all out there and told her exactly what I want when it comes to sex. I don't know why it took me so long to get the balls to do it, but it has made my pleasure so much more. You would think after 30 years the excitement would be gone, but no. It's back with a vengence.
    Rather than spending my life creeping ever so close to her asshole and hoping like a little school boy that I don't get shot down, we had a point blank discussion about it. Now I know exactly where I stand and what I can expect. She still isn't gung ho with the anal thing, but because she loves me and wants to please me, is willing to give it a try.
    Maybe this is a "well, duh" moment for many of you, but if you are a bit reserve or shy and want to say or ask it but was afraid to or what the answer might be.... my advise is to get drunk, smoke a little weed, or do whatever it takes you to do it. It has been a life changing time for me - all of it in a good way

    Best of luck with your future anal adventures - dirty weekend getaways are the best!
  • Diesel2215Diesel2215
    Posts: 105
    Thanks Thhn.

    I know what you mean! But also the older the ladies get the more confident they get, and admit to some fantasies themselves.

  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,304
    one comment on this...

    if i understand, you went from the rear door to the front door.

    best to remove the condom first, and/or wash carefully. you do NOT want to introduce bacteria from the rear into the female urethra. UTIs are miserable.

  • Diesel2215Diesel2215
    Posts: 105
    Thanks Darwin

    I am aware of this, but if I had known I would have removed the condom. It all happened so quickly before I realised what had happend.


    P.S. This happened a couple of weeks ago and she does not have any infections........lucky I guess.
  • newbie2009newbie2009
    Posts: 268
    This doesn't improve as time goes on. In post-menopausal gals, even those on HRT, the susceptibility to UTI gets worse with each year. And the danger of septicemia increases.

    Three years ago, we weren't yet into anal, she picked up an e-coli infection that made it all the way to her bladder before she started running a fever, her white cell count moved off the chart and her electrolytes went wild. The two best antibiotics wouldn't work. I damn near lost her when the fourth antibiotic interacted violently with other essential meds. We have no clue who the donor was or how it got into her urinary track. Probably an early morning quicky when we'd gone to bed tired and had not showered.

    Anal isn't spontaneous with us. We talk it through in advance, every time. We usually make it the last act in the play before the curtain goes down. When it isn't the last act, we are damn careful about what goes on in the finale.

    Our Uro has given me specific lube guidelines when we plan Missionary and I will be packing the Helix. Even then, she stays alert to any irritation for a week after we take that risk.

    Life is short. Eat dessert first!
  • helixbillhelixbill
    Posts: 148
    A few weeks ago I read some interesting posts on a different website that is aimed primarily at ladies and they had a discussion about anal.

    There were several enlightening posts. Most made the point that they didn't like to be 'surprised'. They felt it was only proper if the male asked first.

    Also, lots and lots of lube. And go very slow upon entry and have a couple of terms clear before anything started. One term meant slow down and another meant stop. The worst thing a man can do is force anything at any point.

    I had never considered it but there were suggestions about the female being on top so she could control the penetration which makes sense.

    And as other have already said, "front to rear, NEVER rear to front". Way too much risk of Urinary Tract Infections for the ladies. Same rule for penetration with fingers, no rear to front EVER.

    Good communication is the key to a pleasurable experience for both.

    BTW, I was surprised by how many ladies really liked anal.