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Benefits of kegels for men / Women, Childbirth and Kegels
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    Hi,

    After having sex the last time, my girlfriend felt a little "looser" and I had to try harder to get a penile orgasm/ejaculation. In my obsessive, depressed, ongoing battle, mental state, it brought me down the next day. I started thinking about whether I'm just a poor match for my girlfriend peniswise (she has a 1yo baby, not mine), whether she needs to do Kegels (she's never been supertight although I don't know what's the tightest to expect, since she's my first) or whether I could do anything to help myself.

    My girlfriend herself said she noticed that it is looser down there since birthing her child.

    I brought up Kegels for her to have stronger orgasms, and first off she said: "they're strong already". Then lately, she said I should remind her to do the kegels. Maybe the pussyfarting sex alerted her to the extra air?

    I read that kegels can help men too. But to what extent. Some sites say it can improve male orgasm, erections, ward off PE, etc. Can kegels help Aneros sessions too, I mean, if I have stronger PC muscles, that has to help during ANeros sessions, right?

    What has your experiences been with Kegels and sex, Aneros, orgasms, erections?

    As an OCDish person, especially when it's based on an experience and not just a "what-if" thought, I have trouble getting it out my mind that childbirth ruins sex for the male but not really for the woman. My gf needs next to no foreplay to start sex.

    I heard Kegels for mothers only improves the opening and not the canal. But I've heard that's good enough. Has sex changed with you and the mother of your kids? How much of a difference and to whom?

    Can sex with Aneros re-establish the pleausre and sensations, or improve upon it?

    Most guys come from the place of "I don't care, I love pleasing my gf" - a place where women don't come from. I'm more like a women or gay guy: I want my own pleasure. I'm not interested in pleasing MORE THAN being pleased. I want it equal. That's half the reason I'm here: seeking pleasure.

    I think I read too that men SHOULDN'T do kegels, and should do..forgot the name, antikegels or something?
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    MyTurn,

    Kegel exercises are good for both men and women. Improvements in urinary control and orgasmic response in both sexes are likely benefits. Kegel exercises are especially beneficial to women in regaining some of the lost ‘tightness’ in their vaginas due to childbirth.
    The only time men should not perform Kegel exercises is during the act of urination. As ‘darwin’ has previously pointed out “…practicing kegels while you pee. that is an irresponsible and uninformed recommendation. no urologist would ever authorize that. bladder and kidney damage is a serious matter that can happen when the flow of urine is chronically stopped.
    all sex education resources suggest stopping the flow of urine --once or twice-- to learn which are your PC muscles, so you can exercise them while not peeing. i have never before seen it proposed to do it routinely while peeing.”

    Strengthening the PC muscles through Kegel exercises will also help your ability to manipulate your Aneros massager during sessions and improve the liklihood for pleasurable orgasmic responses. You may wish to read the thread Kegel Aerobics by 'darwin'.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    Thanks for the tip. I didn't know about the "non-peeing" rule.
  • zanebluezaneblue
    Posts: 224
    All women should exercise their PC muscles, especially after giving birth (once their OB gives the all clear sign). Kegels are not very effective; I recommend a device called the Gyneflex

    http://www.gyneflex.com

    As an added bonus, for women who are easily vaginally orgasmic, it works similar to the Aneros because it hits the G-spot.
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    I heard Kegels for mothers only improves the opening and not the canal. But I've heard that's good enough. Has sex changed with you and the mother of your kids? How much of a difference and to whom?

    Can sex with Aneros re-establish the pleausre and sensations, or improve upon it?

    Most guys come from the place of "I don't care, I love pleasing my gf" - a place where women don't come from. I'm more like a women or gay guy: I want my own pleasure. I'm not interested in pleasing MORE THAN being pleased. I want it equal. That's half the reason I'm here: seeking pleasure.


    Careful....not all women are like that...lol. I am a woman on this site in search of pleasure for her man. Not until yesterday did I begin my own journey (of sorts) and have my first "alone time" with a Peridise. I must say, it was also to his request. He and I always enjoyed anal play, however, I was the only one who had experience penetration.

    As far as kegels for a woman...not only am I a woman...I'm a Mother too. I have 2 kids...the oldest, 10 yrs old. I will also have to admit...I've done my fair share of kegel and to be honest, I'm extremely tight. I would be extremely, extremely wet and more than ready for sex after foreplay and he would still have to work himself in. He's not huge, but more than adequate. I'm also different in the aspect that the more times I orgasm, it seems the tighter I get. I'm not certain if it is due to the kegels, but I do them often. It's good for dealing with issues of age, (not that I'm there yet, I'm only 32), such as incotinence...something I hope to never deal with. I do kegels at my desk, in the car, during dinner...anytime, anyplace. You might mention this to your girl to give her some ideas.

    As you stated, your sexual experience is less than hers. I can understand your desire to be pleased...more/less catch up. But be careful :wink: not all women and gay men are out just for themselves. I say this sweetly, not to judge by any means at all. It sounds like you have good communication with your girl...keep it up.

    Enjoy!
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    zaneblue said:

    All women should exercise their PC muscles, especially after giving birth (once their OB gives the all clear sign). Kegels are not very effective; I recommend a device called the Gyneflex

    http://www.gyneflex.com

    As an added bonus, for women who are easily vaginally orgasmic, it works similar to the Aneros because it hits the G-spot.



    This is a great product. I wouldn't bring it up with my girlfriend just yet, until she mentions that she feels looser again, or something. Or I might gradually introduce it. thanks for the site! Bookmarked.

    So what is the diff between PC muscle excercises and kegels? Why do some swear by them and say they have helped their vaginas while you (with all your knowledge) say no. What do you/they know/do/experience that they/you don't?
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    lynn2694 said:

    I heard Kegels for mothers only improves the opening and not the canal. But I've heard that's good enough. Has sex changed with you and the mother of your kids? How much of a difference and to whom?

    Can sex with Aneros re-establish the pleausre and sensations, or improve upon it?

    Most guys come from the place of "I don't care, I love pleasing my gf" - a place where women don't come from. I'm more like a women or gay guy: I want my own pleasure. I'm not interested in pleasing MORE THAN being pleased. I want it equal. That's half the reason I'm here: seeking pleasure.


    Careful....not all women are like that...lol. I am a woman on this site in search of pleasure for her man. Not until yesterday did I begin my own journey (of sorts) and have my first "alone time" with a Peridise. I must say, it was also to his request. He and I always enjoyed anal play, however, I was the only one who had experience penetration.

    As far as kegels for a woman...not only am I a woman...I'm a Mother too. I have 2 kids...the oldest, 10 yrs old. I will also have to admit...I've done my fair share of kegel and to be honest, I'm extremely tight. I would be extremely, extremely wet and more than ready for sex after foreplay and he would still have to work himself in. He's not huge, but more than adequate. I'm also different in the aspect that the more times I orgasm, it seems the tighter I get. I'm not certain if it is due to the kegels, but I do them often. It's good for dealing with issues of age, (not that I'm there yet, I'm only 32), such as incotinence...something I hope to never deal with. I do kegels at my desk, in the car, during dinner...anytime, anyplace. You might mention this to your girl to give her some ideas.

    As you stated, your sexual experience is less than hers. I can understand your desire to be pleased...more/less catch up. But be careful :wink: not all women and gay men are out just for themselves. I say this sweetly, not to judge by any means at all. It sounds like you have good communication with your girl...keep it up.

    Enjoy!


    So Kegels have worked for you. See zaneblue's post above. Maybe it's the sheet volume of working out you've done where it begins to show??? You are great for putting in the effort!

    re: my desire to be pleased. Thanks for the understanding tone in your post.

    It's just a shame that women have multiple orgasms, no pressure to perform, their job is to be pleased and to judge, gay men have prostate orgasms, and no pressure, be pleased, judge, etc, and men with girlfriends have to resort to a lucky plastic invention and tread thin ice regarding introducing their partner to it (Aneros). Plus, we need to rewire in the first place!

    Sorry, I'm on a low at the mo. It's good that your guy has a girl like you.
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    It's just a shame that women have multiple orgasms, no pressure to perform, their job is to be pleased and to judge, gay men have prostate orgasms, and no pressure, be pleased, judge, etc, and men with girlfriends have to resort to a lucky plastic invention and tread thin ice regarding introducing their partner to it (Aneros). Plus, we need to rewire in the first place!

    Myturn,

    I can understand why you might feel this way. Sometimes it takes a moment to hear it from another point of view. Yes, some women can experience multiple orgasms. As for me...it took years to reach that point. I was in a marriage for 9 years where I did not have an orgasm unless I did it myself. The man I was married to was never able to bring me to orgasm...mostly because he was finished before I even got my clothes off. Yes....it was just that bad!!! He rarely focused on my wants, desires...needs. When he was done...WE were done. There are some woman who can never achieve orgasm at all. Now, with that said....lets face it, it's not hard to make a guy cum. A lot of guys have the attitude of "hey, I got mine" and they are not even concerned about it. Us girls might here the occasional "Did you get there baby?"...our answer....."ALMOST"!!!!!! A problem for women when it comes to pleasing their men....they don't know what to do. Most guys clam up when you ask what they like or what they would want. Most often enough....they want anal or a three-some. Being a woman...both of those are very "all about the man"! That's the most common answers we get. It's hard to please a man with that type of pressure and lack of realistic feedback.
    When we are the focus of receiving pleasure, it's not a guarantee that we'll reach orgasm. And yes, it takes more work to make a woman orgasm than it does a man.

    If there is anything I can say...COMMUNICATION. I know it sounds dumb, but we can't give you guys what we don't know you want. If you want anal play, tell her. If you want a blow job, tell her. If you want to have more time being the focus of attention...TELL HER! Don't be apprehensive of saying "hey sweetheart, why don't we play a game....tonight you take care of me and do what I want, tomorrow I'll take care of you and do what you want." HELLOOOO!!! WIN-WIN FOR EVERYONE!

    I am very open with my S.O. I honestly feel that if I can't be comfortable enough to communicate with him openly, then he has no right being in my bed. I expect the same for him as well. I would never want to get my S.O. to a point where he is as sexually frustrated as you are. (Although, right now he is, but I do the best I can from 8000 miles away :wink: ).

    I REALLY HOPE it doesn't sound like I'm going off here. I'm just throwing in the females perspective. I think so often women want to say these things but are afraid to upset their men. I'm not with you guys intimately...I'll give it to you straight. hahaha. Women almost feel the need to be taken care of first...otherwise 9 out 10 times....we never get there. We want to please our men...so you guys need to help us out. Knowing what turns a man on is great inspiration to be more creative. But you guys need to give a different answer now and then, something other than a three-some and anal. Some women just can't get into that. In the words of "Jerry McGwire"...."help me help you." :lol:

    As for gay men....I can't help ya.

    I understand your frustration...I've been there on the opposite side of the fence. I'm just lucky I'm with someone now who really shares the role of giving AND receiving!!!

    Feel free to PM me and vent anytime.

    Enjoy!
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    lynn2694 said:



    I can understand why you might feel this way. Sometimes it takes a moment to hear it from another point of view. Yes, some women can experience multiple orgasms. As for me...it took years to reach that point. I was in a marriage for 9 years where I did not have an orgasm unless I did it myself. The man I was married to was never able to bring me to orgasm...mostly because he was finished before I even got my clothes off. Yes....it was just that bad!!! He rarely focused on my wants, desires...needs. When he was done...WE were done.



    But at least that was attributable to your husband and not your own physiology. It must be "reassuring" to know the problem isn't you, right? Although 9 years of no orgasm...how did you ever get on? When you say "unless you finished yourself off" do you mean "ride on top", or actually getting yourself to orgasm without your husband... a) sexually or b) present at all? Did he not see your frustration?

    lynn2694 said:



    Most guys clam up when you ask what they like or what they would want. Most often enough....they want anal or a three-some. Being a woman...both of those are very "all about the man"! That's the most common answers we get. It's hard to please a man with that type of pressure and lack of realistic feedback.
    When we are the focus of receiving pleasure, it's not a guarantee that we'll reach orgasm. And yes, it takes more work to make a woman orgasm than it does a man.



    Yet another sphere in which I differ from most guys. Anal with a girl? Not interested, unless I'm receiving: prostate play, etc. Threesome? It could be cool but in my recently devirginized days, pleasing one woman is work enough.

    Imagine all the work a man does for one measly penile orgasm compared to laying on your back for a couple? I know which I'd pick if I could re-chromosome myself.

    lynn2694 said:



    I understand your frustration...I've been there on the opposite side of the fence. I'm just lucky I'm with someone now who really shares the role of giving AND receiving!!!

    Feel free to PM me and vent anytime.

    Enjoy!



    Thanks for the advice and I may just take you up on your offer.