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Aneros Blogs > Realizations of a Skeptic Self (by spyeg)

Product Review: Progasm Jr

So as I promised so many people in chat, this is going to be a personal review of the Progasm Jr. I say personal, as I understand that everyone is unique, and each person reacts to particular models differently. As such, I'm starting with the disclaimer that these experiences may or may not apply to anyone else. This was purely my impressions, my feelings, and my sensations from using this devices.

First, a material description of the Pro Jr. It is made of the same material as the Progasm Black Ice, so those familiar with the "soft" plastic should know it's a bit more comfortable than the classic plastic. The almost glass-like feel enhances the slickness when coated in lube, which promotes movement in the rectum. Overall, has a very polished look, while still being surprisingly soft.

Next will be a discussion on design. While many are wondering about the differences between the Pro Jr and the regular sized Progasm models, I don't feel I can give a fair or accurate comparison since I don't have any other Pro models. Instead, I will compare to features of the Helix and MGX, as those are the models I have and am most familiar with.

The usual difference between the Pro line and other models is the P and K tabs. Instead of the usual curly tail, we have the Kundalini tab, which "taps" the coccyx (tail-bone) during involuntary spasms. The nice thing about this is that it actually makes it comfortable to sit in a chair without any sort of required modifications. The P-tab also differs from the other models in that it's more rounded, with less sharp edges so it doesn't dig in to the p-spot like the standard or dime sized tabs. While the tabs are rounded, they do differ from the other Progasm models in that they are not spheres. However, since they are smoothly rounded, there is absolutely no discomfort from the p-tab during extended use.

Next is the actual body and head of the Pro Jr. The head is much more bulbous and "direct" on the prostate, meaning you get a stronger, fuller massage. Also, since the head is more prominent, it creates a larger groove (between the body and head) for the prostate to sit in when relaxed, almost cradling the prostate. The body is thicker than the MGX/Helix, and it definitely makes its presence known when inserted, but not in a bad way. Whereas the MGX/Helix focus primarily on sphincter and prostate pleasure, the Pro Jr adds to the stimulation of the rectal walls, giving yet another dimension of pleasure while inserted.

In terms of the pleasure, this was the first time I was able to get pleasurable sensations from prostate contact/pressure itself. By focusing on the feeling of different parts of the device, I was able to enhance pleasure in just about every area. Focused on the prostate, could feel it swell and the Pro Jr would rub it more, causing it to swell further. Focusing on the full feeling, muscles would spasm all around it and move it ever so slightly (causing intense p-waves). Focusing on the sphincters convulsing around the tool, actually fell into a series of anal Os (one lasting almost 2 minutes). Not entirely sure whether it's just due to the device being new or it's just so beautifully engineered (or both), but I loved riding it for the first time.

In terms of session length, I wore it for 3 hours when I first got it, followed by a 3 hour rest, and then another pre-bedtime session (lasted 3 hours, then I fell asleep). While it CAN be worn to bed, I don't believe I will do that again, as it left my prostate a little sore from such prolonged direct contact. Definitely one I need to give myself plenty of time to use and take out before sleep. Can't wait until I can be fully awake and in a position to fully enjoy the sensations instead of being distracted with day-to-day business.

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Final Thoughts of Peridise

For those that have been following my progress, I apologize for not taking care of this sooner. I had finished up my Peridise training about a month ago, and haven't really used it much since then. However, I figured now might be the best time to go over my usual training sessions with these wonderful little training tools.

For the most part, I would insert anywhere from the moment I get home (between 6-7pm) to about an hour before bedtime. On the days I insert upon getting home, I'll give myself a short half-hour to an hour session in bed or on the couch, just to get the blood flowing. This is always the same regimen, with 5-10 minutes of relaxation, followed by 20 minutes light exercise (inhale and contract, exhale and relax). If it goes to an hour, then I'll try and maintain medium contractions (minimum 50%) for as long as possible (usually between 1-3 minutes per) while keeping the rest of my body relaxed. These are straight PC contractions, mind you, as I don't involve any other muscles until I can really focus on not only the sensations, but also the muscular fatigue.

Once I'm in bed is when I really push my muscles as hard as I can. This is when I will try to maintain strong contractions for as long as possible (up to 5 minutes at times), alternating between PC, anal (sphincter), and rectal/abdominal contractions. This tones the muscles, and at the same time helps to develop the difference between the major muscle groups. Once I feel the heat expand from my core during relaxation is when I start combining contractions of different muscle groups (possibly rolling between them). This will usually get involuntaries going, and a few times I've had full body quaking going, though trying hard to subdue them as I'm lying next to a sleeping wife...

So for those worried about "timing" or "privacy", these can definitely be worn to bed and used prior to falling asleep. Some days I'll even keep them in throughout the work day, and only take them out after getting home (this is also after sleeping with it in, mind you). These really are incredibly comfortable, and are designed for extended wear. The sensations never get overwhelming, but if they do I make sure to bring a sandwich baggy with me to put it away for a while. Either way, I firmly believe that I would not have gotten so far in my progress without these amazing devices. While the Helix and MGX definitely started me on this journey, the Peridise was the perfect training apparatus to tone my anorectal musculature, which greatly improved the prostate (and anal) pleasure during sessions.

Honestly, there really wasn't much of a difference between the 18mm and 16mm. Sensations are more intense, involuntaries are more prominent when they happen, and the contact with the prostate is minimal to the point of teasing. Other than that, nothing else is different. Still only use a thin Vasoline coating, with 1-2ml of lube (lately synthetic, though water works just as well for overnight), and the exercises are the same as above. I guess the only new thing is that I'll go back to the 16mm after several MGX sessions and feel like I'm getting near a super O.

Now I'm just waiting until the Progasm Jr comes in and I can give a thorough review of that bad boy. Until next time, here's to a happy and healthy prostate!

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Reminiscing About 18(mm)

I've been a bit out of sorts with posting any updates recently due to some personal issues I've been having (health and lifestyle related). To be perfectly honesty, I was not planning on finishing my updates with the Peridise set because I felt like I missed the "deadlines" and the experiences weren't quite fresh in my mind. That changed when I noticed that there was genuine interest in my first two posts, which made me remember these posts are as much a benefit to the community as they are a historical log of my progress and thoughts. This post will go over the 18mm Peridise, which I probably spent an additional week on due to lack of availability during the holidays. From the Friday before Christmas until the Friday after, I was away from the Peridise set (and lube/syringe) so didn't even have them physically available to me. That being said, I'm going to go over the differences between the Peridise and the other Aneros products. First, the other products that I'm familiar with (MGX, Helix).

With these guys, there's a more direct contact with the prostate, and based on contractions there's even pressure against the prostate. Couple that with the P-tab, and you get sensations in the three areas necessary for a feedback loop (didn't include the sphincters, but they're there). Now with these, there's definitely more than one way to really make use of these. Different positions, contractions, even mindset, can completely change the sensations, which makes every session a unique experience. Your ano-rectal muscles get a workout, but it's secondary to the prostate massage (and pleasure) unless there's a concerted effort to Kegel while getting a massage. However, because of their dominant presence, it's easier to develop the awareness of subtle sensations in the area, which is necessary to get the maximum amount of pleasure from these devices. The larger tools might be a bit different (Maximus, Progasm), but from what I've read they force you to train/develop the muscles just to keep them from ejecting due to peristalsis. The "problem" is that the subtle movements/sensations are lost.

For me, the Peridise is the best of both worlds. Using the "do nothing" technique, I listen to my body respond to the tiniest of movements, causing the subtlest of pleasure that I can either build upon with greater focus, or just let wash over me in waves by relaxing. Through concerted contractions (Kegels), I can strengthen the muscles and learn to start the involuntaries when I want them. By starting with a long relaxation period, I get the best of both worlds. I'll insert and relax for 30 minutes, just enjoying the pleasure that I get through the slightest of contact. Then I'll start intense Kegels for another 30 minutes, trying to wear my muscles out as much as I can. Finally, if I'm still up for it, I'll just play around with different contractions to see if I can kick start the involuntaries. The one thing to keep in mind is that the contact/pressure does not compare to the other Aneros models, but it's really not supposed to. The movements are smaller, less intense, and for me are usually more like tiny vibrations against the prostate. Since it has a smaller head, there's less pressure on the prostate, which puts a greater emphasis on the feel of the Peridise against your throbbing prostate and rectum. When the involuntaries kick in, it's very similar to an Aneroless session, in that your muscles are doing all the work and the Peridise is just there for your muscles to contract against. Overall, I find that it's the best training tool, that gets me incredibly worked up and ready for a proper session with one of my other Aneros products.

As for what I've learned in the week that I was using the 18mm Peridise, is that these tools move around more than I realize. One of my first sessions after Christmas break, I was getting intense pleasure but wasn't noticing any movement. This was odd, because I was feeling the pleasure in many places at different times, but there was no "physical" movement. So I placed a finger very lightly on the tip of the Peridise, and it was dancing around like I couldn't believe. By focusing on this movement, it actually increased my arousal, which caused even more movement, which took me to new levels of pleasure (several anal O's). This made me realize that I was not in tune with my body as much as I would have liked, and I just needed to develop my sense of "awareness" of my anorectal area. Since then, I feel I've made significant progress, but I don't think I could have made that connection if I hadn't been training with the Peridise.

PS: I've already finished my "training" with the Peridise, and I'll go over what I learned with the 16mm in my next blog post, which will be sometime next week.

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Second Week of Training, or "What 20mm has done for me"

Going to try and keep this short and sweet, since I'm rather busy this week, which is why I missed my Wednesday update.

Second week of Peridise "training" down, and I must say I'm really enjoying the stimulation and toning of these little devices. I find myself really pushing myself with Kegels, and am motivated to try holding for longer and longer periods. My contractions are no longer a consistent strength/pressure, and I find myself testing out different levels to determine how my muscles are reacting. The most pleasing aspect of this training is that I'm really getting in tune with all the sensations in the area, and can distinguish between the different stimulated areas and contractions, though sometimes it's still hard to separate them when I'm getting hit with P-waves.

I caved with regular sessions. However, I don't feel bummed or guilty about it, because I feel like my muscles are definitely learning to work to greater ends. The only reason I wanted to abstain was to experience how different my sessions would be after training my muscles, but I can already tell there's a difference. My regular sessions during this period are more active, and during one of my sessions I was having the most intense body thrashing, with my hips bucking, legs quaking, and arms flailing. It was highly erotic, but I felt like the movement was drowning out the sensations. Despite the fact that this diminished the feelings, it was so arousing that it just wouldn't stop. My prostate hums more frequently/constantly, and my 'less sessions are much "deeper" than usual. I can feel it grow from deep in my belly, rather than my prostate or anus. Sometimes it'll even start in the most unexpected places, like my shoulders.

Ultimately, the Peridise is teaching me to relax into the sensations, learn when to intervene, know how/when/why to contract (the "why" is a big part that I constantly overlooked), and appreciate all the subtleties that I overlook due to "searching" for pleasure. My involuntaries are much easier to bring on now, I notice all sensations on my sphincters/prostate/rectal walls, and I am just more conscious of the physical sensations of the devices. Makes for a very pleasurable session when I feel each tiny movement, and can usually enhance the session by languidly changing my focus from each of the different sensations.

Started using the 18mm on Wednesday. Couldn't help but ride the whole day (from the moment I woke up to later on that night, when I had a regular session), and was actively Kegelling almost the whole time. Had to take a little break yesterday, as it left my muscles a little sore from overuse, but was still up for sleeping with it last night. Didn't bother taking it out this morning, and honestly, I rarely even feel it as a foreign object anymore. It's incredibly comfortable, and produces amazing sensations throughout the day. Dripping with anticipation for next week.

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Week One, or 22mm of Pleasure

First week of my training regimen is complete, and I must say I'm enjoying the sensations and overall well-being that I've gotten from it. The first day caused a LOT of pleasure )similar to a regular Aneros session(, then it sort of fizzled out for the rest of the week while I was toning my muscles. Although this decreased my desire for using the Peridise, I stuck with it and continued my nightly sessions )only one missed day, couldn't help it(. Before I talk about my last session with the largest Peridise, just want to discuss what it feels like for those who are interested.

While specifically designed for exercising and toning the pelvic floor muscles, there is still pleasurable sensations. During the best times, it felt like I was having a regular Aneros session, in which I was getting anal orgasms almost regularly with the right contractions. The little ball that sits between the inner and outer sphincter just milks my anal desire in a way the regular Aneros models just don't )or can't, not quite sure(. Since I've had prior experience with Kegels, I managed to start with 15 second long contractions, but am currently up to 30 seconds before I'm too fatigued to keep holding any more. I've never been one to maintain these contraction cycles, as I usually get bored and just let my body relax into it, but with the Peridise I feel like I HAVE to participate in order to get the most from it. And believe me, last night I got the most out of it, probably more than I have with the MGX or Helix in the past year.

So yesterday was my last day with the 22mm, so I decided to make it count. I started with a quick session, with 10 minutes of relaxation followed by 10 minutes of active participation )contractions(. The pleasure during the relaxation phase was insane, with the strongest p-waves I've ever experienced and my dick bouncing around like a fish out of water. This session showed me that while I might have experienced involuntaries before, I never really knew what true involuntaries were like. As soon as I started the Kegels, I had a continuous episode )about 10 minutes long( of invols that caused about 5 anal orgasms and built up to a near dry-O. I'm convinced that with enough practice, the Peridise can easily take me to the O land, especially since I almost got there during such a short session.

The fun didn't stop there, though. After this session, I had to go to a dancing lesson with the wife, and found that my ass was clenching onto it for dear life throughout the lesson. During the rest periods, I would forcefully relax my anorectal muscles, and could feel the Peridise dancing inside my anal canal. I had the biggest shit-eating grin during the lesson, and noone would have guessed why. Afterwards, came home and went straight to "bed" )not to sleep( to enjoy another few hours of the Peridise's unstable movement in my anus. No more orgasms, but still plenty of pleasure until I passed out with it in.

Average length of sessions for this week, not counting sleeping, is about 3 hours. Some were shorter, clocking in at 1.5 hours, while others were significantly longer )8 hours for my first session(. Seems I'm getting much more comfortable having it in for longer periods of time with the proper lube. Just a little Vaseline on the tool, about 1-2ml of water based lube injected into the rectum, a little bit on the toy, and away I go! I've not had any problems with discomfort from sleeping with it in with this setup, which is more than I can say for the MGX or Helix. Who knows, maybe I'll start sleeping with one every night from now on? They really are THAT comfortable, and I can get my day started by waking at least 15-20 minutes earlier and just having a quick "exercise" session in the comfort of my bed.

I have high hopes for what's to come in the next 3 weeks, which has been fueling the desire for a regular session so much. It's been really hard not to switch over from the Peridise to the MGX during the best parts of these sessions, but my resolve )and laziness( will not let me cheat into succumbing to pure pleasure.

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Training Regimen

As many of you know, I recently purchased the complete Peridise set. As soon as I got the package, I decided to give it a try for a full day, and I must say I'm pleased with the results )both in terms of pleasure and toning(. However, I feel like my "lube" of choice was not a good fit, as by the end of the day I had a slight stinging sensation between my inner and outer sphincters (using a knock-off travel-size petrolatum). Either that, or there was just some contaminant that was irritating the tissue throughout the day.

Still, after a "fun" evening with the wife (which I was actually able to last a whole lot longer than usual, even after one session), I feel like it's definitely giving some positive results. As such, I'm starting a strict nightly regimen of Peridise use, focusing on each size for a week before stepping down in size (starting with the largest). After the first session, I didn't notice any sore muscles, and it could have been because I didn't give it a proper workout through the day (sitting on my ass all day).

The one thing I noticed that I wasn't quite expecting was how similar to a regular Aneros session the Peridise was. In chat, rook had mentioned that the prostate gets lonely because of a lack of direct pressure/contact, but I didn't find that to be the case. On the contrary, I was getting some great pleasurable sensations, intense p-waves (stronger than I've ever had), and the vibrations of involuntaries that I've grown to look forward to during my sessions. The biggest enjoyment I got out of it was an itch that's been growing for several days, the itch of wanting something inserted (even if not necessarily pleasurable). This itch was centered in the anus, not the prostate, and giving it something to "suck" on for most of the day quelled this desire for now. I'm almost looking forward to my first true session after this strict regimen to see just how far my muscles have developed after a month.

Admittedly, I might be going about this the wrong way, in that I'm abstaining from regular inserted sessions during this time (might cause withdrawal symptoms). Since my session yesterday was so fulfilling in terms of the itch, I feel like it probably won't be a big deal, but it's still a bit disheartening to know I won't be having a proper session for a whole month. Especially considering how prostate hungry I've been the past month, I might just have to give in and have an early morning session to take the edge off.

The problem with this is that my morning sessions have always been riddled with problems. Between not being a morning person (always being too tired), overly active bowels upon waking, and just too much mind noise when waking, I can't seem to have a beneficial session in the morning. Even with adequate sleep, I just can't seem to get myself "in the mood" to enjoy it properly, and I feel like I'd be wasting time, energy, and lube. Unfortunately, nights/mornings are my only consistent opportunities, so it might just be a matter of training my body to accept the pleasure in the morning by starting a routine and sticking with it during this time. Not sure how consistent this would be though, as I try to space out my sessions with at least a day in between, so I don't think I'll be able to get a consistent schedule going. Maybe I should just do it, but not dedicate my usual 60-90 minutes on it, and just use it for about 15-30 minutes to get my day going.

I guess I shouldn't be looking at it as a bad thing. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I'm sure abstaining from Aneros use for strictly recreational purposes will just make the next session that much sweeter when I pick it back up. Here's to a happy and healthy prostate!

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Dangerous Over-Indulgence

Last week was a wild ride. Had 5 session days in a row )been several months since I've done that(. At the end of it all, I felt overworked and couldn't fathom anymore sessions. Thank god I didn't try for another session, as on Saturday )3 days after my last session( I felt my perineum and noticed some rawness to the area. It seems that my indulgence in the pleasure was a bit much for the tender skin, and rubbed it raw with the MGX's p-tab. Looks like I'm going to be waiting several more days before having another session to give the area time to heal. In the meantime though, going to keep the area well maintained to let it heal as fast as possible, as I've been itching for a session for a few days now and it's gotten almost unbearable today.

In the meantime, I've purchased the complete Peridise set and am looking forward to when they arrive so I can start toning the area even more )and at half-off the regular retail price due to the Black Friday sale, how could I go wrong(. My Kegel practices have been a little non-existent lately, and I feel like I'm falling back to pre-Aneros levels in terms of ejaculation control. Not exactly a bad thing, but it is the biggest reason for getting the Aneros in the first place. Either way, my body is writhing in anticipation, and I can't remember the last time I was this anxious for a package to arrive.

Luckily, there's plenty on my plate to keep me occupied until then, and my 'less sessions have been eventful enough that I'm not worried about caving in before the lovely devices come in the mail. The most intense ones have been hitting as I lay my body down to sleep for the night. I'm almost into dreamland when all of a sudden my stomach feels like it's rolling around and kicks off some intense p-waves that take me to new heights. Focusing on the sensations in my stomach instead of my prostate seems to fuel the sensations further, and takes me to the pleasure plateau that leaves me begging for more. Thankfully, there's a position that knocks me out cold )whether I have anything inserted or not(, so I've been able to get to sleep within a reasonable amount of time even with these sensations rocking my body.

Still, it's incredible just how much pleasure my body is giving )and receiving( on its own. It's opened up my eyes to the amount of pleasure possible by the human body. It's made me more attentive to my wife during love-making, and I've enjoyed the foreplay more than ever. If my wife would let me, I'd enjoy nothing more than to worship her body for hours on end and give her non-stop pleasure until she could take no more. As time-pressure has prevented us from prolonged love-making, I haven't been able to devote nearly as much attention to her pleasure as I would like, but I get the job done and definitely take her to bigger heights than she's had in years. It just amazes me at how in-tune the Aneros has made me not only with my own body, but my wife's as well. Hopefully, when I bring her in on this little secret, she will see that it's not a replacement )or even a masturbatory aid(, but a device that improves my overall health, desire, and frankly, my devotion to her. I've made a resolution to tell her by the end of the year, but I'm still incredibly nervous that she will take it poorly. We've been through so many hardships in the past and I'm afraid of disappointing and hurting her any further.

Any advice on how to break the news? Any and all insights will be thoroughly considered, as I really would love for her to understand what it's about )even if she doesn't want to actively participate in it(.

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Abstinence and Diminishing Arousal

It's been a while since I've posted up a blog, figure I should keep my progress as current as possible. I've felt that since I've been abstaining from Aneros use )and sex with the wife( for a few weeks, the desire has been lacking and there hasn't really been any reason to post )though I do get urges and 'less sessions in the interim(. Looking back on it though, I probably should have done this a few times last week to help re-center my "self". Between numerous headaches, excessive driving )traffic( and the gas crisis in NY, stress has taken a strong hold on my life, meaning sessions have taken a back seat. I still try for 'less sessions as much as possible, but these have been few and far inbetween. The closest to a session I'll have at night )in bed, before going to sleep( is an energy meditation session to combat the headaches and stress, but have had no mindgasms like in the prior weeks.

Due to the hurricane, been spending a lot of time with the wife and family. These have helped with the stress, and improved my rather sullen moods recently )as well as remind me why I fell in love with my wife(. Still, I've been snappy, quick to anger and irritation, and generally had very little desire to do anything other than stay home and try to stay warm. Thankfully, my wife would not let me sulk, and forced me out of my shell to open up to the love of those around me. That helped significantly in combatting the stress, but it just wasn't enough.

Once power came back last week, things finally started returning to normal. My 'less sessions have been very energy fulfilling, leaving me bubbly, happy, and in general pleasant to be around )and I enjoy people's company, which is somewhat rare for me(. I find a good 'less session, whether I have any waves or Os, to be so self invigorating. It's not mental, or attitude related, but truly I feel content with my inner-being, and I'm usually flowing with energy in all my interactions. I've definitely grown more centered spiritually in these past few weeks. My wife has noticed a change in me, but she sees it as being a bit "disconnected" compared to my usual self. We spoke in depth about it, and I made her realize that it's just that I'm more relaxed about everything due to my deep breathing and meditation exercises. Stress just isn't affecting me in the same way it usually does, and I'm more care-free than before. She was just worried that I had started some mind-altering substances, but I assured her those worries are unfounded. To be honest, I wish I could start her on these deep breathing exercises and energy sharing with me, just so she could understand exactly what's going on with me at this point in my life )our lives(.

In regards to the Aneros use and my prostate pleasures, there isn't really much to report. Since the hurricane, my desire for prostate play just hasn't been a priority and the "itches" that I have are throughout the day when I can't start a session. By the time I've been getting home, I'm too tired )physically and mentally( to really want to start a session. A few times I've woken up in the early AM craving it, but I'm not a morning person and usually just go back to sleep. However, one day it was so strong that I literally could not go back to bed after an hour, so I started a session up at 5AM. Cleared myself out, pre-lubed with just some ID Glide )couldn't find Vaseline for the Aneros itself(, inserted and climbed back into bed.

Amazing sensations. MGX was dancing on the prostate like never before. I was able to notice the subtlest movements, the smallest twitches that normally go unnoticed were at the forefront of attention. These weren't pleasurable, in the usual sense, but the entire time I was inserted I could feel every little nudge, move, twitch, jump. It was incredible. Coupled with the growing feeling of my heartbeat in my pelvic region, I plateaued several times and could feel something more beginning to build. However, the time was ticking, and before I knew it, it was time to wake up and prepare for the day. Fortunately, I was working from home, but anxiously awaited a free moment to myself to start another session.

When I finally got a moment, I prepped myself in the bathroom with some ID Millenium )synthetic based lube( and some Vaseline )found it, finally( and started my session on the bed. Again, amazing sensations, but pleasure was just a bit too much of a tease, and I was horny for something more. After about an hour, decided to try my luck with the Helix in front of the PC )no erotic material(. After about another hour, couldn't hold back the horniness anymore, and had to finish myself off traditionally. Overall, the session was good, but was a little lackluster in the prostate sensations department. Still, this session opened up my eyes to the subtle sensations that I could be experiencing if I just relax into it a little more.

Fast forward another 4 days, and I'm driving home late at night taking the back roads. Getting some pleasurable sensations in my perineum, so decide to slow down and focus entirely on this growing pleasure. It began to spread into my scrotum, and I could feel my prostate swelling. The feeling was absolutely delicious, and got me rock hard almost instantly. The pleasure in my perineum just kept growing though, and before long I was having a mini-O, but the pleasure didn't stop there. After a few more mini-Os, the pleasure became too much to handle, and began to radiate into my cock, swelling it )and my prostate( even more. My prostate was fully engorged, and my anal canal was dancing all around, eventually causing my cock to twitch and spasm into a full-blown dry-O. It felt like I was ejaculating so hard, and yet nothing came out. It was amazing! When I got home )around 11:30PM(, I was still itching for that sensation, so I lubed up and had another ride.

This was like one of my first MGX sessions. Semi-voluntary contractions )my body was doing it's own dance, and I was just letting it( were all over the place, involuntaries were making the MGX dance like no other, and the contractions were bouncing around in waves. Breathing turned into gasping, contractions turned to twitches, and something was building in my belly that just begged to be released. After about an hour of this, the belly tension eased up, and I was just in a constant state of pleasure for the remainder of my session. No waves, no twitching )though muscles were still "rolling" in waves(, and quite a bit of pre-cum. I eventually fell asleep, and woke up in the morning with a raging erection that I kinda snuggled into my wife. Nothing resulted from it, but the erotic thoughts were making the Aneros dance inside me until we both got out of bed in the morning. In all, an excellent night, one I won't soon forget.

Anyway, the title of this post makes it seem like I haven't had any sessions in the past two weeks. This is only partly true, in that this is the first time since about 6 months into my journey that I've been able to abstain for longer than 3 days at a time )from either traditional masturbation or prostate massage(. In the past 2 weeks, I've only had 2 sessions )with a week off before the first one(, and I find that I'm just not aroused very much anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't GET aroused. I used to be a walking horn-dog, one of the statistic claiming that every 10 seconds a man thinks about sex. For me, that is no longer the case, as I rarely think about sex other than when I'm near my wife )and get a good grope of her various assets(. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, I've discovered, as I've become more productive with my time as a result )able to stay focused for longer periods of time(. Having borderline ADD )mental trainwreck(, the Aneros has trained me to organize my mind in a way that's helped me outside of the pleasure/spiritual realm.

Despite the lack of desire during these abstaining sessions, I'm really curious to see at what point my prostate beckons me to play. I don't think I've ever "waited for the whisper", but I have had strong sexual desire for sessions. I'm going to continue on this path and see how long it will take before it gets unbearable to the point that I NEED a session. Maybe it won't come, maybe it will. Either way, I've been able to focus on the important things in life recently, and even if I never get that call from my prostate I'll still feel like I've accomplished something.

Until you hear from me again, good vibes to you all.

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Dan Tien and the Perverted Gremlin

So this week I've been focusing on deep belly breathing (as I'm sure you all know from my last post), and that hasn't changed since yesterday. The one thing that's different is that I discovered that uncontrollable smiling and euphoric feeling are also caused by amygdala clicking (concept brought to my attention by chat here last night), and I'm convinced that this is the explanation. Just thought I'd preface my progress with some additional discoveries.

So the title of this pretty much explains the last 24 hours of my journey. My drive home was another deep breathing exercise, but this time I focused more on the energies exchanging. Visualizing the energy flow into my stomach and travel to all corners of my body, pushing the negative energies into my lungs to be exhaled. As I expel these negative energies, relaxation washes over me, and I'm left with a feeling of serenity and a stillness throughout my body and mind. As I got closer to home, I became aware of these energies collecting in my stomach and as I got home, began to focus on them. This kicked off a quick 'less session for about 5 minutes, and as I pulled up to the house started bouncing between my prostate and stomach. As my focus on these energies grew, my mind slipped into nothingness and I became these energies. I could feel (and see) the pulsing and shifting of these energies flow throughout my body, even though my conscious mind was only aware of the energy in my stomach. Since I was home, I couldn't stay out there long, so I opened my eyes and found myself completely rejuvinated, like my day was just beginning.

Later that night, as we were getting ready for bed, the call of the prostate was strong and I couldn't ignore it for long. I went to the bathroom and prepped myself for the ride. This wasn't my usual "in, clean, ready" prep session, this was a full on pleasure session before the main event. I relished the feeling of cleaning myself out, of washing the area, lubing up both inside and out (playing with the anus and prostate more than I usually do). I enjoyed this experience for the first time in a long time, and found it to be the most exciting foreplay. I had not inserted yet, and as I returned to bed, decided to play with some contractions and some deep breathing first, to get everything nice and ready. After numerous toe-curling p-waves, I felt READY for the sensations, for the pleasure that I was about to receive.

And pleasure was what I got. Not Earth shattering, not breath-taking, but still pleasure. Pleasure... I was getting the pleasure that I wanted, that I craved, but something was different. Something was wrong. This was the first session that I was able to utilize deep breathing to aid the session (both in terms of relaxation and moving the MGX), and it certainly took me to a new level. But for what I was feeling, something was still holding me back. A quick mental check on my physical self verified that I was listening to all the different sensations throughout my body, and my mind was relaxed, calm, empty of distractions. So what was holding me back? I dove a little deeper into my mind, and I found it. Him. Pleasure. Except this wasn't the pleasure I was feeling, this was the pleasure I was demanding. A little perverted gremlin, off in a corner trying to get himself off.

This is the reason my regular sessions were never as intense or productive as my 'less sessions. Regular sessions were always about pleasure, whether I admitted to it or not. At times I've felt that I was addicted to pleasure (before the Aneros) and masturbation/ejaculation was always the easiest (and greatest) form of pleasure for me. Getting the Helix trained me to understand that pleasure isn't everything, and that to forgo the immediate release would bring greater pleasure in the long run (delayed gratification). However, it is still this desire, this addiction that fuels my regular sessions, and to detrimental affect it seems. So, having discovered an obstacle that has been with me more than half my life (since I was a teenager), I decided to end the session. As I said in my last post, the first step is recognizing the problem exists. The next step? I honestly don't know, but I'm willing to tackle it head on in the coming months.

Which leads me to today. Nothing new to report on the drive to work, other than relaxation and redirecting of energies through breathing (getting better at it, enjoying the results every time). In a chat with rook and rumel, a 'less session started to kick in. I tried to suppress it, as I had a lot of work to accomplish and didn't need the distraction. Rumel scolded me, warning that trying to suppress these urges could have a significant effect on my subconscious in regards to these sessions. So instead of suppressing these sensations, I just let the butt buzz occur and put my focus elsewhere. The sensations were manageable, and I was using some deep breathing to try and focus my energies on work. As I was inhaling though, something new happened, something oh so unexpected.

During deep breathing, I can only inhale so much into my belly (normally), but this time was different. I would inhale as much as I could and hold for a few seconds. While I'm holding my breath, I could feel my pulse deep in my belly, and every time I felt it, my lungs would draw in more air. I couldn't believe how much I was taking in! That's not the kicker though. The best part is that as I'm taking more breaths (while I'm already full), a buzzing began to grow in the pit of my stomach, just below the belly button. Rook informs me that I have just stumbled upon my lower dan tien, and to cultivate those sensations by rippling the abs and lats as I'm inhaling. I followed his advice, and felt this buzzing, this energy, move into my chest (just below the heart). I kept up this breathing and rippling pattern for several minutes (it looks a bit odd at work), and when I was finished I just basked in the energies radiating from my core in waves.

While this had opened up a new channel of energies for me, this also fueled the 'less session into something I've never experienced before. Instead of being prostate/anal driven, this was centered in my stomach, chest and legs. It began as a slight buzzing, but grew into so much more. I could feel my prostate swell, but there was no movement in the anal canal. Instead, the individual muscles of my legs began to squirm, my ribs were buzzing with energy, and my stomach was quivering uncontrollably. After a few minutes of this, the p-waves began. They didn't just begin, they slammed me HARD. My legs were trembling, my stomach and chest were constantly clenching, nipples became incredibly sensitive to everything (even the fabric of my shirt rubbing against them), my breasts began clenching. This was full body. This was pleasure.

This was release. The release of all the energies I've been absorbing into my body with no regard for where they were being stored. Release of all the subconscious expectations of pleasure that I've been holding onto during this journey. Release. Such a simple word, and yet that's what it was. Once things finally calmed down, I took a break and stepped outside. The cool air felt crisp on my face, and the world smelled delicious. I basked in the afterglow of this experience, not wanting to label it or analyze it. It happened, and I relished every Earth-shattering second of it. I was happy. Real happy. Not just because of the pleasure, but because I realize just how much this journey has to offer me. Where to go from here? Only time will tell, and I'm sure you'll all be there every step of the way. Of that I'm sure, and it brings me great joy knowing I can share in my journey with you all.



**Apparently the title is an unintentional reference to "Dan Dare and the Mekon", which was brought to my attention by twlltin today.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mekon

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Directing Energies

Alright, so there's been some significant progress these past two weeks, and just want to document what's happened so far.

Getting positive feedback loops on a regular basis now. None have been quite runaway like the first week, but they are still pleasant. My 'less sessions have been taking off and are becoming more eventful than regular sessions. The reason is because I'm able to put more focus onto all of the sensations being generated as opposed to just the prostate and anal area. This should change with time as I learn to relax more and am able to have regular sessions that focus on the full body experience. Thankfully, my 'less sessions are a good practice to getting to that state.

Anyway, this week I've been focusing on deep breathing and the effects on my mental state. My feelings towards deep breathing were somewhat downplayed, as it's always just been about air and nothing else (you don't breathe, you die). Obviously, there's more to it, but I never quite made that connection outside of the physical need. By focusing on deep belly breathing, I instead imagined what the air was doing for my body. Inhaling provides more than just oxygen, it provides the body with energy. Exhaling, also provides the means for expelling the negative energies collected in the body (for whatever mental/physical reasons).

In visualizing that each breath was not necessarily just for "survival" but for exchanging of energies, I've discovered a whole new aspect to my being. I feel more in tune with what my body is feeling, how it's running, and in general just more in tune with all the various energies running through my self. This first realization came during a drive to work. I found myself getting rather frustrated due to traffic, and decided to try to redirect these feelings to a more desirable mental state. After only 5 minutes of deep breathing, I came back to the present and found myself grinning uncontrollably. This pleased me even further, because I was able to successfully put into practice the discoveries I mentioned in my last post. What was unexpected, however, were these happy feelings to cascade into full body euphoria that settled on my head for a whole minute. This was all before I even got to work in the morning, and there was still so much more that happened!

I had hit my reset switch the previous night by ejaculating, as my arousal was getting a bit out of hand during sessions. As such, I resolved to try and maintain focus on my life and work for several days to let my mind and body have a break from the Aneros. Needless to say, I wouldn't be writing anymore if I was able to maintain my resolution, but I'm glad I didn't. On chat, a user was describing a rather productive session he was in the process of having, which fueled another user to having a 'less session (and a subsequent chairgasm). Well, this got my engine going as I was reading what was happening, and we had an energy sharing session (me and twlltin having a 'less session, cyrez having a regular session). It was so intense! I could feel the energy coming from both of them, and it fueled my session further than it's been before, which fueled the other guys even further in their sessions. After the most amazing p-waves, several mini-O's, and the biggest stretch of my life, I was in a state of bliss for an hour afterwards. I've heard others mention this sort of energy sharing before, but this was the first time I was present to witness it (let alone be part of it). This left me with quite a bit of sexual energy that fueled a 'less session for the rest of my work day, but the fun didn't stop there.

I do a lot of introspection on my drives, as I have about 30-45 minutes that I can usually relax and enjoy the drive. My commute is so routine that I literally drive on auto-pilot for most of the time and can be completely elsewhere in my thoughts or focus (still maintain enough focus on what's happening around me to avoid dangers). As I've been focusing on breathing this week, and had amazing results with it in the morning, decided to see what sort of results I could get with more than 5 minutes. The entire drive was spent doing deep belly breathing until I got home. I did a quick mental check on my physical state to see how this deep relaxation affected my body, and found all the muscles from my anus to my chest quiverring. Didn't notice this as I was driving, but just decided to relax into it and see what would happen. What transpired next all happened within the span of 2 minutes.

An incredible p-wave came over me, stronger than anything I've ever experienced, and washed over my whole body (from toes to chest and back down again). The sensations wouldn't stop growing, and a dull throb began to build in my stomach. At this point, it was incredibly difficult to stay relaxed, but I was just letting myself fall into the sensations and stopped trying force the relaxation. This caused the sensation in my stomach to grow in intensity so quickly, that it started to spread upwards into my chest. This caused the "terror at the gates" sensation that others mention, and frightened me so much because of how quickly it overcame me, that it brought the session back down. Again, this all happened in the span of 2 minutes, which is part of why it scared me so much. After that, I relaxed into the p-waves for several more minutes, and felt physically spent as they grew smaller in intensity. Once I felt I could walk straight was when I finally left my car, but this left me drained both physically and mentally.

The fun didn't end there, though. On this particular day of the week, I go to the gym for an hour (a dance class with the wife). When we get home, we decide to turn in a bit earlier than usual, and I helped her get to sleep with a nice leg massage. The physical exercise perked me up just enough to make it difficult to sleep, and I was still feeling some of the afterglow of my numerous 'less sessions this day. So I decided to have a session with my MGX, and was feeling quite anxious about what the session would be like. I felt a pull to the chat room used my phone to go on the site. After sharing my experiences of the day with everyone present, I decided to cut out to focus on relaxing into my session. Got a few feedback loops, some nice prostate stim, and a lot of p-waves. At some point, I was so relaxed that the sensation in my stomach came back, but it wasn't growing. Instead, what happened next caught me by surprise (for more reasons than one). Nothing changed sensation wise, but my eyes suddenly shot open, and my vision just started going white. My eyes were completely open the entire time, but all I saw was white. A warmth spread over my entire body, and my head was bathed in euphoria. This lasted about 30 seconds, and after it passed I was so excited that I couldn't quiet my mind. The mental noise was too intense, and the session seemed to have been coming to a close sensation wise, that I just decided to call it a night and fell asleep.

On my drive to work this morning, performed some deep breathing again. After about 20 minutes of this, I started feeling the euphoria wash over me again (didn't stop breathing like I did yesterday). I decided to relax into these energies instead of focusing on them (as I usually do to build on the sensations) and was able to just let them flow throughout my body for the remainder of my drive. It was such an amazing feeling to have these energies travel across my body, making stops along the way and focusing on a single area momentarily. Finally got to work, and again, had the biggest grin on my face and could feel all the positive energies flowing through me. I can't remember the last time I've been this happy coming to work in the mornings!

To be honest, I never truly believed that this sort of energy existed or that it can be guided. The concept of chakras, qi/chi, etc. all seemed like a purely mental phenomenon, all in the eye of the beholder. Having experienced the same premise behind these concepts, I can now understand that it's more metaphysical than mental. For me, it was a matter of finding my center, my being, and externalizing it to my conscious awareness. It truly is an amazing realization, that my inner self is more than just my physical being, that it's a part of the universe as a whole. It's a humbling thought, and makes all my problems seem less significant in the grand scheme of things.

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