No announcement yet.

First timer... Kind of hurt!

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • First timer... Kind of hurt!

    Hey guys!

    I am a first timer wen it comes to prostate massage and i just joined the forum today(after looking at it for some time). I have had a finger up there, but I dont think it actually hit my prostate. I bought a Helix Classic and last night was my first time trying to use it. My problem is that insertion kind of hurts. I tried twice last night with about 2.5 hours in between. The first time only lasted about 5 mins because i was trying it with my girlfriend. We tried to go super slow but it wasnt really a good feeling. So we stopped. Later that night i tried to use it by myself. I laid on my side with my top leg up to my chest, i put Astroglide natural on the helix and inside. I probably used 1/4 of the bottle. The feeling is kind of a dull pain, and if it hurt more, i would stop where i was and take some deep breaths. I then tried to push a little more in... About 15-20 mins later, i finally got it in. I tried to lay there on my side and the dull pain stayed. When my anus would contract it was a little more painful. I tried to not move hoping the feeling would go away... After another 10-15 mins i gave up because the dull burn feeling wouldnt cease. I dont understand why it hurts, my bowl movements are bigger then the helix granted sometimes that hurts too. Maybe i have a hemmroid or two and thats what causes the pain.... Do any of you have any experience with pain when you first started? Should I just keep trying till i am used to it? Any ideas... I really would like to experience anal play and the great feeling in have been reading about. Sorry for the terrible spelling, dang iPhone!

  • #2
    It does take a while to get to the point where this kind of thing is comfortable. I think you're experiencing more than just discomfort though, and hope someone more experienced will have more advice. I'd at least say give a day or so to let the area heal before trying again, and I'm not sure if you should if you do have a hemroid or two though. Remember to go as slow as you need, relax as much as possible, and use plenty of lube. Also, I've heard of people's insides reacting adversely sometimes to certain lubes. Might want to test if that burning feeling happens because of insertion, or because of the lube irritating something.


    • #3
      Hello NOOb117,
      A couple words of advise:
      -If you aren't getting enough fiber in your diet, it might cause some pain in your bowel movements, which in turn, would make Aneros use more painful. Make sure to eat lots of veggies and fruits, high fiber grains and beans in your diet to make sure your stools aren't hard and large coming out. You shouldn't have to force things. The ideal stool curls like a rope in the toilet and should not be hard but fairly soft.
      -The burning sensation you speak of makes me think your lube may be contributing to your discomfort. Astroglide contains glycerin and many of us feel burning and an urge to purge with glycerin in our rectum. I suggest less irritating lubes like Vasoline, Aboline, natural oils like olive oil, almond oil, shea butter or Probe (a lube sold online and at some Walgreens stores in the U.S.).
      -Be aroused and go sllllooooooowwwwwww. Sexual arousal will help make the experience less clinical (like a Dr. is sticking his finger up there) and more sexual. Also, play around the rim of your anus, teasing and slowly circling the area until you want to have something inside. Then, see the next point...
      -Inexperienced with anal play: you may want to perform some anal exercises prior to inserting. If you've teased yourself to a higher state of arousal, slowly slide a well-lubed finger just inside your anus. Press gently against one side, then the back, then the other side, then the front (toward your penis) then repeat this process over the course of several minutes, moving your finger deeper and applying increasingly more gentle pressure. After you've done this for 5-10 minutes, your anal sphincters will be more relaxed and stretched out a bit by your finger massages and the insertion of the classic should be very pleasurable and wanted.
      -Wam the Aneros. A cold toy makes for an clenched anus, which can contribute to pain. Wam your Aneros in a sink or cup of body temp water for 10 minutes so that it will feel like a warm finger when inserting
      -Engage your nipples when inserting. For most men, our nipples are big, useless bumps. But, when you begin to engage your prostate and nipples together, something magical happens. The nerves running through your nipples also connect to your prostate. So, by lubing your nipples with an oil-based lube (so it doesn't dry out and they don't get chaffed) and rubbing them sensually as you slowly insert your Aneros, you may find your anus start to quiver and crave insertion more than if you didn't do this
      -Rest and relax. If you're newer to anal play, you really need to adjust to having something poking in your ass before you start to try to contract. It's recommend you insert and do nothing but relax and breath deeply for 10 minutes but it's really whatever it takes you to relax. If having a glass of wine or taking a hot shower or bath helps you relax, then do it before the insertion.
      -Make sure you're clean. If you have any fecal matter in your rectum, it will cause a less than ideal session. Many of us find a douche with some warm, plain water helps to get rid of any junk in the trunk. Even still, experienced users may think they're clean and half-way into a session feel something uncomfortable and come to realize there's more to remove. It happens. Just deal with it and move on.

      Overall, the key thing to remember here is to take it slow. This isn't a race. You don't have anywhere you have to be. Just take your time and enjoy the ride.

      Hope this helps


      • #4
        @NOOb117, for what it is worth, I found the helix classic was difficult to insert. The Helix end is too blunt for me. I got a SGX and its shape is much more accommodating. I have since got many others but still don't use the Helix.


        • #5
          Thanks for the words of advice... Ssince my sessions were pretty short yesterday, would it be bad to try again tonight?

          The astroglide lube is called "astroglide natural" and it is glycerin and parabolin (sp?) free... I dont think it is the lube, because i pre-lubed and that felt fine... I think i just need to relax more, and take it more slow. Im gonna try to make it work! If te helix doesnt work than maybe the SGX might be better!

          I think im just gonna take my time and get it in, then just dont move...
          I am a bigger guy (tall) so laying on my side is kind of awkward. is there any other position that makes it easier to insert?

          Thanks guys!


          • #6
            Would you feel comfortable with your girl friend massaging your anus and putting her finger in? If so, start massaging it yourself along with your nips and when you're relaxed, have her start. A lot of guys' anuses (ani?) are very tight when tense, especially when something is coming at their anus. Tell her to go slow and tenderly, giving her cues when she feeling good or hurting. You can continue with the nips. I found my nips when a teen and always felt self-conscious about using them for sexual stimulation. If you're self-conscious in front of your girl, maybe she can talk sexy about your anus and your nips? You may want to be the one to actually insert the aneros because you can tell if you're ready or if it hurts right away.Bear down as if you're making a BM while doing it so your anus relaxes and opens up.

            I don't know; I'm a gay man so I'm not speaking from first hand experience. But I've got some experience with my own and other men's anuses. Gay men spend a lot of time preparing their partner's anus and do it in a sexy way so it does double duty.

            Maybe, when it in and while you're waiting to get used to it, she could hug you in a sexy way, kama sutra style, to get you hot. The key is to take as much time as you need to relax your anus. Also, pay attention to the other suggestions.


            • #7
              Yea my girl is perfectly fine playing with my area down there. I am not self conscious at all, I am not just a fan of having my nipples touched. I will have to give it a try though.

              I tried again this evening... tried to put it in for about 25 mins and gave up to go to bed... I may switch to a MGX, because its a tad smaller, and it doesnt have the two humps in in the tip like the helix. I could get it in about half way, then it would hurt a little, and I would wait for it to go away, and then start again. I tried to use my fingers to relax the muscles, but I guess I couldnt get it relaxed enough. Oh well, going to give myself a few days to recover before i try again.

              Thanks everyone! This is a stellar community they have here!


              • #8
                I've had a session where there was some discomfort, taken it out, waited and hour to two and tried again and out it back in and the second time was incredible with not pain at all. Depending on your age (you sound like a younger guy in your 20s or 30s) and your diet, you may have internal hemorrhoids, where blood vessels in the inner anal sphincter become swollen and painful (and sometimes bleed) due for sitting on the toilet too long or straining with hard bowel movements. Even younger people can get these. Don't spend a too much time on the toilet (many guys do, we love the read the paper or our iPads, etc.) because western toilet habits cause a lot of pressure on the lower bowels, forcing painful hemorrhoids to develop (they are non-existent in parts of the world where people squat to take a dump).

                I think euphemistic is right that bearing down just a little as your inserting can help open your anus and make getting the helix in much easier. All the units have somewhat of a bigger head than the end where they connect to the p-tab base.

                Regarding positions, try on your back with a folded towel or pillow under the small of your back. If you can put your legs up on the side of a tub or a stool, even better to help you relax.

                I think you have the right idea. Take your time. Try some of the techniques suggested and you'll get there.

                Have fun exploring!


                • #9
                  I find that Astroglide is not a very good lubricant. Have you thought of getting the Peridise? It's not a prostate massager, but much easier to insert, and good for priming "back there"


                  • #10
                    Might sound like a really stupid question... But what is bearing down referring to? Like pushing out a little bit? Yes @newguy, i am in my mid 20's and i think that internal hemmroids are going on. Got to up the fiber! I just want to get it all the way in! Its gonna happen!

                    I wasnt considering getting aPeridise but I may. I thinking a lube switch may he needed... Have you guys used any of the lubes that Aneros sells? I saw newguys recommendations for lube, 2 of them were vasoline and probe may be good for me to try. Are there any other really goood lubes u guys use that you can buy online or at the store (walmart, walgreens, online, etc)?


                    • #11
                      Yes, bearing down is pushing out a holding your breath and pushing when you have a bigger dump. But, don't hold your breath, just push out a little with your anus/pelvic floor muscles and push the Aneros in. Try to cut down the time you sit on the toilet for a bm to just the time you need for reading. Also, you might want to try using some wet wipes like One Wipe Charlies from Dollar Shave Club or Cottennel wipes. Much easier on sensitive and inflamed rhoids than regular toilet paper and you get much, much cleaner as more skid marks! Also, applying a bit of Vasoline or A&D Ointment just inside the opening of your anus after a bm can help sooth the area as well. I speak from experience.

                      The Peridise was actually designed to help relive hemorrhoids and many of us have seen dramatic improvement in hemorrhoids after using most Aneros models for a while. Still, for a great Aneros experience, I find it hard to beat the Helix. The MGX is a strong performer for newer guys because it's base is much thinner than the Helix and doesn't cause any discomfort.

                      Keep in mind, the Helix will be in all the way even though a bit of it protrudes from your anus. It doesn't technically go in all the way unless you contract really hard, which you probably don't want to do anyway. As your learning, you need to pay attention to the subtle sensations and not try to pile drive toward orgasm like you're used to doing with traditional jacking off or even sex.

                      Other lubes you may want to try below. Most of these are all natural because I avoid putting things with lots of chemicals in my body...although Vasoline is petroleum-based. Still, the guy that invented it ate a spoonful everyday and he lived to a ripe old age. I just don't feel comfortable with silicone in my rectum. Too many unknowns. In addition, these are all moderately priced. There's a Walgreens in a gay area of town in my city that has a whole aisle of sex lubes but I find most of them outrageously priced...Gun Oil is like $50 for a big bottle. That's just crazy.

                      Keep in mind: If you use oil-based lubes and you plan on having sex with your girl and you use condoms, the oil will destroy the latex in rubber condoms. Also, using heavy doses of oil-based lubes on your penis or inside your girl friend if you're fingering her or having sex could cause the ph balance in her vagina to get off-balance and lead to get a yeast infection so only use them sparingly and mostly on her labia.

                      Coconut oil - They sell this everywhere now. It's supposed to be a miracle drug for people suffering from irritable bowel syndrome. It has the added benefit of smelling really pleasant, like sun tan oil. It's a solid in the jar but once it touches your body, your heat melts it to a liquid.

                      Probe Thick and Rich- I'm a big fan of this and use it internally, inserting about 5 mls with a child's medicine dosing syringe. It's all natural ingredients with no chemicals. I think it's made out of flax seed, so it's plant based. I've bought this online from but it's cheaper at a local Walgreens (not all carry it) and runs about $16 for a big bottle that last months and months...depending on how often you use your Aneros.

                      Shea butter - another plant based product. Guys on the forum swear by it.

                      Alboline - This is used to remove make-up and it's available at Walgreens. It's one of the best oil-based lubes around, made of paraphen (wax), petroleum jelly (Vasoline) and mineral oil. Like coconut oil, it's a solid in the jar but begins to melt with body temp. It doesn't dry out at all so you can go a long time with this.

                      Other natural oils - Almond oil smells nice but it's kind of pricey. Don't use this if you're allergic to almonds, of course. Olive oil has been used as a sexual lubricant for thousands of years. It will leave a yellowish/greenish stain on sheets unless you use light olive oil.

                      A couple of other suggestions for you...

                      There's two good books I'd recommend, if you're interested in exploring more. One I know is available in the iTunes Book store and both are on (for Kindle as well as printed book). The first is "Anal Pleasure and Health" by Jack Morin. Great book on the basics oflearning to relax and enjoying anal sex for both men and women. The second is "The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure" by Charlie Glickman. Excellent "how to" guide for understanding how to get the most sexual enjoyment out of your prostate.

                      Hope this points you in the right direction. I wished I had discovered the secrets you're learning about in my 20's. You have lots of fun years ahead of you.


                      • #12
                        Yea i need to cut down on my BM time... Its the only time i get a break at work! Haha

                        I think I will give the Probe a try, and get those books. Its never hurts to learn as much as you can. My girlfriend and i dont use condoms, but we do use the natural astroglide (i think it is a newer product). Her lady parts are very sensitive and gets BV and yeast infections easily, the astroglide natural is really great when it comes to that. Havent had a problem since using that, and the rephresh stuff. Luckily for me, my girlfriend is super cool with me using my Aneros. Her deal with me was that, the first time I tried it, she wanted to do it with me. After that, i could use it whenever.

                        I am going to check out the peridise and the MGX once i get paid and see if they work better for me.

                        Newguy, how often shall a beginner use the aneros while in the first phase to get used to it?

                        This post is proving to get a lot of great information! I appreciate your help!



                        • #13
                          NOOb117on't try to use it every day for the first several weeks, but DO practice Kegel exercises every day. You can do that anytime and anywhere once you learn (Look up how to do them on our Wiki and on the 'net). That's how I started 10 months ago and as I've noted in other forums, I consider myself re-wired. BTW, I would not use the device at first during intercourse. You have to get used to the feeling otherwise, you'll be "bummed out" both ways. When I have used my helix-Syn during lovemaking, I have had it in for at least 30-40 minutes first and have gotten myself "going" with it, at the stage of P-waves. So far, my experience with it during lovemaking has been good to incredible, but remember, that's 9-10 months down the line. You'll have to get used to the feelings and be able to get into the groove with the device before branching out.


                          • #14
                            newguy8762, I use a silicone lubricant with the progasm jr, just to grease the device, not to inject, and it slides in even easier than the smaller eupho syn which I don't use silicone with, of course. It's the slickest lube there is. It's only a thin coating on the device so I thought it would be safe. If gay men use silicone lube before fucking, it would be the same thing but gay men's actions are not always safe! NOOb117,It might be worth the risk to use this at first until you can get it in. After all, getting the device in is a prerequisite to everything else. I think once you've got it in a few times, it will be easier and you can discontinue the silicone.

                            Do you feel you're problem is a tight sphincter muscle or something inside blocking the device? If you can put your finger past the sphincter muscle at all, does it feel tight? Can you feel it loosen up after playing with the sphincter a while? It should. If so, spend more time getting to know your anus. It's one of the erogenous places like the nips which are often overlooked by straight men so doesn't get developed. I didn't know about the erogenous qualities of my anus until sometime after I came out as gay. And even then it was too tight and not sexy feeling until I saw how much pleasure other gay men got from it. Use the tip of the device to play with your anus first and feel how good that is. Then while pretending you're making a BM and simultaneously and gradually pushing it in through the sphincter, feel it pop in to the first bump in the device.It will feel odd at first because we're used to feeling stool moving out the anus, not the other way. When you can get it past the sphincter muscle, just leave it in halfway (to the first bump) and feel it inside you for a while to get used to it gradually. When you've caught your breath and see that it's safely inside, try pushing it in all the way and stopping if you feel anything blocking. It should slide in easier now that's it's past the sphincter. If feels like something is blocking at this point, see below. Once it's in, you can relax and do nothing as long as you want.

                            On the other hand, if you feel something blocking your finger or the device on the other side of your sphincter when you try to insert it, I wouldn't even try to insert anything until I dealt with whatever is blocking, like haemorrhoids. Deal with that before you do anything more with the aneros. If it's something more than haemorrhoids, I would go to a gastroenterologist to get checked out and for your peace of mind. Just make up something like bloody stool to get in the door. Don't mention the aneros of course.

                            Another thing, get aroused first. If I'm not in the mood, I find I get no where with the device inside and it's harder to insert. Then the device just feels annoying and irritating when it's inside. Did other men here have trouble getting the device in at first? What was the cause?


                            • #15
                              NOOb117,In terms of how often to use, I would go with an every other day approach until the pleasurable feelings start to increase. I will sometimes have a couple sessions in a for about 30-45 minutes, wait a couple hours and then have another. The second one traditionally is better than the first. It's like the first becomes a warm up act.

                              I'd also recommend you try abstaining from ejaculating for a couple days to amp up your sexual arousal and increase the amount of semen in your prostate and seminal vessels (located past/above your prostate) which also get massaged the Helix and create a lot of pleasure.