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To contract.....or not to contract? That is the question

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  • To contract.....or not to contract? That is the question

    I'm lost. Every time I think I'm going in the right direction...I hit some sort of road block. I still have "some" ok sessions. But for the most part, they seem to be duds now adays. I guess I'm still not sure what the heck my prostate feels llike. Some days I think "dang thats gotta be it". Other days I wonder.
    With all that said.... Contractions or no contractions? I used to grind like everyone else in the beginning. Never got all that much out of it. So I went to the totally relaxed route. That seems to do almost nothing most times. For all of you that do the " do nothing" you actually NEVER use contractions, and just let your body do its thing? I just don't want to do nothing, and never get anywhere. I'm ok with continuing the "do nothing" approach, as long as something eventaully happens. Ya know? So do you guys hold a base contraction throughout the session and don't contract any more than that? Or do you again....actually do nothing? And if you do contract, do you use PC muscles or Sphincter muscles. Or by contracting the PC muscles, is this all you need because the sphincter muscle contracts a little along with it? I have read the WIKI's and many threads, and I think everyone describes it a little different. I just want to be clear. Who knows...maybe I should take a little break. I have probably 3-4, 2 hour sessions a week lately. I used to do it every day figuring practice makes perfect. I worked for a little while anyway. Well....if anyone can help that would be awesome.

  • #2
    Hello, Craig.

    Glad to hear you've read the Wiki and lots of threads so I won't repeat that advice. You mentioned that your impression is that "everyone describes it a little different." Well, that's because it is a little different for everybody and you will be little different, too. I know that sucks from a tutorial point of view. If everybody's different, then how can there be a "recipe? " Right, there isn't one.

    There's no harm in trying a lot of techniques and practicing every day. One trick or another may finally work for you. That said, if you aren't getting anything in a session after 30 minutes, you might want to just forget it until tomorrow. BTW, the "do nothing" business worked for me, but not immediately. When I thought I was totally relaxed, I really wasn't. "Relax" is easy to say and hard to do. Yoga, meditation, and a shot of good whiskey helped me with that. Others have said that alcohol kills sessions. As you already know, everybody is a little different.

    Best wishes to you for more progress,



    • #3
      I just got a Helix last week and had a lot of quality alone tine to try out all the tips and tricks I read here and on the Wiki. Glad you found those as well. Like you I've tried active and passive techniques and have found both can get the involuntary motions going, but I've yet to get to an orgasmic peak like those described in the Super-O Threads.

      Relaxation is definitely the key. Any distraction at all, mental or otherwise, makes it difficult to get the best pleasure from the Aneros. These devices are designed to work with your body's natural contours, but everyone is different. In my case I've already noticed that the P-Tab may not be hitting my perennial sweet spot correctly so I've adjusted positions and found a little rubber cap that increases the surface area to better hit me where I need it (the rubber squeeze top of a medicine dropper works perfectly, after using the dropper to insert some Astroglide during prep). I suspect that not all Aneros shapes will hit your prostate exactly either, we're all different. I'm not going to purchase another yet, as I've felt mine working already.

      The prostate seems to be almost as elusive as a clitoris, it needs to be coaxed into a relaxed state to get the best pleasure from it. Arousal also makes it easier to contact with the Aneros, as blood rushes in to engorge the tissues.

      I think this is a very subtle effect overall, but one that seems to yield amazing effects. I'm not goon to give up trying, and you shouldn't either. Next few times you try, take some time to locate your perennial sweet spot, make sure the Aneros is hitting it. Also, you should feel the contact on your prostate even if you're not aroused. Try it using "too much" lube, and again with "too little", see if either helps (although I've found too little lube to be uncomfortable, it felt best to me when everything was sliding inside nicely). Keep your perenium dry if you can, and check the position of the P-Tab. Almost all of the recommended positions seem to produce some effect but once you change positions you sort of lose your focus a bit. Stimulating the nipples, of all things, triggers the prostate area in a very slight but noticeable way.

      And when you get tired during a session, just end it with a few good strokes and an amazing ejaculation. You'll know then if it's hitting your prostate ;-).


      • #4

        I agree with 'ten_s_nut's response and some of 'RigelOrion's as well.
        Originally posted by craig030713
        Who knows...maybe I should take a little break. I have probably 3-4, 2 hour sessions a week lately. I used to do it every day figuring practice makes perfect. I worked for a little while anyway. Well....if anyone can help that would be awesome.
        These statements indicate a couple of other issues to me.

        First, taking a break is probably a very good idea at this point because your prostate may not be responding due to too frequent stimulation. As 'ten_s_nut' mentioned every man is different and this includes the frequency of their biorhythms. While 'ten_s_nut' may be fine using his Aneros nightly, daily use is out of the question for myself. I believe each of us has a natural optimal frequency for Aneros usage, be it once a day, once a week, once a month or whatever. Part of the rewiring process is learning about your own natural rhythms and then responding to that rhythm as appropriate. Trying to impose a schedule of usage is likely counterproductive as your body may reject such an artificial rhythm, it is akin to hyperventilation, you can only sustain it for short periods before the body naturally counteracts it.

        Second, just as your body has natural rhythmic cycles which you can disturb through conscious action, attempting to impose your will in creating a bodily response is likely foolish as well. Successful, satisfying Anerosessions are very much dependent upon your level of arousal, both physical and mental. Your Aneros massager is a good arousal amplifier but not such a good arousal generator. If you expect to 'Plug 'n' Play' you may be sorely disappointed with your sessions, Your natural arousal flows from the spring of your subconscious, not from the your ego consciousness but you can use your conscious mind to focus, enhance and nurture that instinctive arousal to heightened levels.

        Third, addressing your original query -
        To contract....or not to contact?
        There is no rule or formula for this. IMHO, you need to re-visit those techniques which led to your "...ok sessions...", but this time wait until your body signals its desire (natural arousal) for a session. If abstinence is an effective technique to enhance your arousal then I'd suggest you try that as well.

        @'RigelOriont', I don't recommend going the Super-T route until after successfully having had a few Super-O's. IMHO it is just too easy to get rewired into that mode of experience which may then preclude advancing to the Super-O.


        • #5
          craig, its a great question.

          my answer is: both.

          some sessions try holding gentle contractions.

          some sessions try really relaxing.

          you are trying to coax your pelvic floor muscles to start contracting on their own, like a reflex. when you hold gentle contractions it fatigues them and they might start fluttering, which might feel good. that trains them to do it more. relaxing deeply frees them to take control of themselves. they are both tools in the toolbox. i know it is frustrating.



          • #6
            Thx guys for the advice. Definitely not giving up. I'm loving the good sessions I "do" have. And honestly it's become such a huge challenge for me at this point. Probably the killer for me btw. I think I need to work on relaxing more. Again thx.


            • #7
              Hello Craig,

              first, @Rigel -- Luv the clit analogy !!

              TSN's words on relaxation are well chosen and might be worth several reads.
              Twice in the last six months I've gone dud.

              In January, I'd had three or four dud sessions in a row. One Friday, B.F. Mayfield visited Chat to help guys and happened to mention that there were some 'seldom visited' joys inside the back door. Especially one somewhere on the posterior wall. (hmmm, an Easter Egg hunt in the offing.)

              So, I sent dame Aneros and cousins through the dishwasher and put them in the sock drawer (solitary confinement) for two weeks. Went to the local adult 'book' store and bought a simple anal explorer. (four bucks on the clearance table). Every-other-day for two weeks I spent 10-15 well lubed minutes on a treasure hunt in the 'cave-of-mystery.' On alternate days I worked on my breathing and the aerobic part of my regular workouts.

              That 2-week break refreshed my outlook, improved my breathing and left me not caring about a short streak of 'dud' sessions. Again in March I took a break -- just for one week though.

              Enjoy ....


              • #8

                I think most of the people on this forum have been where you are at. It is is EXTREMELY frustrating. I myself never got anywhere with contracting. But what works for me might not work for others.

                We are conditioned through traditional masturbation to be involved in the process and make it happen. Will it to happen. Aneros does not work this way, you cannot make it happen. When your body finally makes sense of the device, it just clicks and BAM! It just goes. It is very much a involuntary response, like when you wake yourself up by your body jerking. I know this sounds strange now, but when it happens it will feel very natural.

                If you think your are in a rut I vote for taking a break..from the aneros and the forum and go about your life and come back to it in a couple of months.


                • #9
                  @'RigelOriont', I don't recommend going the Super-T route until after successfully having had a few Super-O's. IMHO it is just too easy to get rewired into that mode of experience which may then preclude advancing to the Super-O.
                  Interesting observation. I hadn't thought of that. To be honest I feel as though I personally am on the right track, even with the Super-T finish, but I will keep this in mind so I don't distract from the overall experience.


                  • #10
                    Remember too guys that, not unlike our sisters, each of us goes though a sort of natural cycle. This has physical and hormonal effects, while not as extreme as with the gals, probably has an affect on how various elements of our orgasmic build do play together. Right now mine seems to be peaking once or twice a month and the major peaks are about a day or two after the full moon. (now, about last night ............... !!)

                    So, voluntary actions that produce 'amazing' results on one session may not work a week later. Simply, our bodies and brains have many variables and are less predictable than are our cars and hi-tech toys.

                    Married guys (and well-mated singles) know well about the variabilities in female g-spot orgasm -- dud sessions happen and it's important to recognize and accept that fact without dwelling on the cause.

                    ============================ ==

                    Re: Trad-O and super-T finishes. I think they are a must for bph therapy sessions but ----> Eighteen months ago there was a running theory ("conventional wisdom") on the Forum that it was a good idea to always wait an hour after a dry-O session before undertaking any penis play, edging or Super-T work. I've adopted that as a personal discipline including a change of Aneros Model.

                    I'm a bit superstitious and believe that I should offer my bod and brain significant differences in sensations to distinguish the difference between an approach to a dry-O and an approach to ejaculation. I also use a different Aneros for bph therapy -- right now that's a Vice (nice because it does the whole Super-T job from start to stellar finish!)


                    • #11
                      I just had my first Dry/Super-O with my Helix, so there's hope. Two weeks into this exploration, and it required all the relaxation mentioned in these forums. I did not touch Mr. Penis, until the last 30 seconds.

                      It was a 2 hour session, with the first tingles starting about 15 minutes in. I was fully prepared, lots of lube, and this time I watched clip after clip of fun vids (xtube, I think). Wave after wave of wonderful tremors for most if it. I was on my back, pillow under my ass to elevate things, and my legs were alternating between relaxed and upright. I did some contractions (not hard ones), and left it alone once the involuntary contractions started.

                      With no Super-O yet, I was getting to the end of my time so I decided to finish myself by stroking my shaft. I was already in the middle of an intense involuntary series of wonderful, fluttery contractions, and just as I started to touch my limp shaft and scrotum it hit me. Deep orgasm, and no ejaculation. It felt amazing, and I could've kept going. At first I thought I had cheated, but all the pleasure I felt was deep between my perineum and prostate.

                      I had a chance to feel where the Helix is hitting me, and honestly I believe it's missing both my perineum sweet spot, and my prostate. I almost bought the Progasm, so I may have to try that out to see if it's a better fit. The Helix hits my prostate but I feel that it's not as much contact as I'd like (I was able to carefully move it a bit to check). This experiment has been both exciting and rewarding. Don't give up!