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Still trying after many years

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  • Still trying after many years

    After another dry spell I realized that it been in the order of ten years that I using the Aneros products. I think that I could count the number of good very pleasurable sessions on one hand with no super or dry 'O's. As you can imagine I have tried most things but most days now end up relaxing so much that I fall asleep! As someone who never wants to give up I did wonder if anyone had any ideas on how to reinvigorate my long journey?

    Thanks In Advance

  • #2
    (Note: This is my own personal speculation - and when I say "you" I'm really talking about myself. I'm just going to ramble and spit-ball random ideas)

    Relaxing so much you fall asleep... you're either tuning-out too much, or leaving sessions too late at night. Maybe aneros sessions have become a passive, low excitement thing to you, and so they've been given the priority they deserve in your schedule. Like a late night chat show you only half listen to as you fall asleep.
    That seems like a vicious circle. Like "Yawn, here we go with another aneros session, I'm not going to feel anything, so I might as well just daydream while the tool does its work". I think as much as we try to get rid of expectations and need, it's possible to take it too far and condition yourself out of associating the aneros session with sex.

    But I don't think it's your fault, it's hard to treat aneros sessions as self-sex if they've never been that. When they produce the same mediocre results every time, you can't get excited about it, because there's nothing to be excited about. On the other hand, if aneros sessions regularly fucked your brains out and left you a helpless puddle on the bed, you might anticipate a session differently. You might get tingly just thinking about it.

    So it's a vicious circle of low expectation, low anticipation, low arousal, low pleasure... feeding into itself. And this is the hole you have to dig your way out of. The good news is that the association works in the other direction too - as I mentioned already, the very real tingles of anticipation, not hoping, but knowing the aneros is going to make you feel things, and that the steps you take preparing for the session is a gesture of submission to what is about to happen. It sets you up for a whole different mindset.

    If you're thinking about grocery shopping or remembering the time that funny thing happened, then you're fucking up badly. Using the aneros isn't a lottery, where you throw the aneros up your ass and sit back waiting for the results, thinking "maybe this time it'll make me super-o". It's a collaboration and you need to be there.

    What I'd recommend specifically is only having sessions when you feel like you can bring the sexual side of yourself to the table. I'm sure at this stage you must have a sense for when a good session just isn't on the cards. Fewer, better sessions might help you develop that association between the aneros and certain pleasure. Rather than pulling the handle on the slot machine over and over, expecting to lose, because that's what happens most often.

    Boredom is a problem though, and the need to constantly add some new twist or technique to the session is what has kept me going. Even if it's only that I'm going to experiment with holding some new kind of ass-contraction - it at least keeps me focused and in the game. I've had to fight for every inch of improvement I've had, but beyond a certain point the pleasure itself is enough to keep your attention and keep the session in a sexual frame. That's when you can focus on relaxing and letting go to the sensations. Rather than getting it all backwards and trying to sleep your way into an orgasm before the fire has even been lit.

    Another thing that has helped me is modifying my aneros. Moving the p-tab. I can't say for sure whether the new spot was magically different or whether it was some kind of placebo, but what it definitely did was make things feel a little different. And (at least for a while) it took me out of the boredom mindset of "I know exactly what I'm about to experience". It turned things back into an exploration of the new, and a sexy experiment where anything could happen. The same thing happens when I get a new aneros model.

    I think it's worth getting a dildo (or similar hand-held device) too. Since you have to manipulate it by hand, it keeps your attention from wandering too far. I see two parts to aneros rewiring... one part is about receiving pleasure, and the other is having it become all twitchy, involuntary and self-building. And I think they are skills that can develop separately. Maybe with a dildo you could discover what it takes for you to hit new peaks. Take one half of the problem and try to solve that. And I think if you can heighten your sensory awareness with that kind of exploration, you might come back to aneros sessions with new "wiring".

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    • #3
      I'm in the same boat as monkeyrj. Been using the Aneros for more than a year during which time I had one session that had a few pleasurable sensations. Since insanity is doing the same thing while expecting different results, I've stopped hoping for results during my Aneros sessions. I now use it when I take a nap, since I figure I'll by laying down anyway. Of course I do sphincter contractions, but I still feel absolutely nothing. (

      Should I have a more intense sexual fantasy (which I've tried, along with other things)?

      You write:

      I see two parts to aneros rewiring... one part is about receiving
      pleasure, and the other is having it become all twitchy, involuntary and
      self-building.


      Those sound the same to me. What is the difference?

      Comment


      • #4
        Clenchy, awesome response, I totally agree with what you're saying.

        monkeyrj, I am amazed that you have stuck it out for so long with the Aneros concept and can only hope that you will have some type of breakthrough very soon.


        I too had a lot of trouble falling asleep during sessions, especially trying to do the "do nothing" method. For me getting somewhere requires some serious focus on the perineum area and the internal pelvic muscles around the prostate.
        May I suggest a few sessions without the Aneros? A session without the device you might allow you to generate sensations that the device amplifies in most people.

        Give this one a try: Lie on your back without the Aneros. Relax a little and think about something arousing while you focus on any ache or tingle in the interior area between the base of your penis and your anus. Very gently, with no attempted rhythm, move your pelvis around. Add very tiny, brief contractions of your PC muscle. If you feel any tingle or ache focus directly on it. Try to keep it going.
        Arch you back a little as you follow the sensation.You may notice a very subtle internal pressure/ache/tingle that grows as you focus. Keep at it and focus on anything pleasurable. Imagine being really turned on by something/someone as you focus on the sensations. Add in very slight contractions of you anus and/or PC muscle. Continue with anything that adds to the sensations. Don't force anything, just relax and enjoy any pleasure. Focus your entire being directly on any tingle, ache or tiny spasm. Let the sensation build with no expectations and see where it takes you.

        Any success in building sensations is a step in the right direction. Multiple sessions may begin to build on your level of arousal. Try focusing on the sensations occasionally while out of the bedroom. I find sitting in a comfortable chair with my legs crossed really allows for focus in the interior perineum area. Everyone's body/mind combo is different. I have managed to reach insane levels or arousal with this method of mental focus on specific sensations. The Aneros device only adds to the experience.

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        • #5
          I've stopped hoping for results during my Aneros sessions.

          It's more nuanced that that. It's good to drop your expectations and stop needing a specific outcome. But if that means you're going to take your ball and go home, then that's no good. Throwing your hands up at the aneros and going "I've given up trying to work with you aneros, you can just do what ever you want to do and I'll be here napping until you're ready to show me how serious you are", like somebody's jaded wife isn't helpful. Like I said it's a collaboration, and you need to be there.

          I now use it when I take a nap, since I figure I'll by laying down anyway. Of course I do sphincter contractions, but I still feel absolutely nothing. (

          It's not a mechanical process, where if the aneros just moves enough your body will orgasm. The contractions will send out a cloud of sensory data, and it's up to you to filter though it all, and figure out which part of that signal is sex. The signal might start out as a narrow little beam, only the width of a hair, but when you practice tuning into it, it can grow to the thickness of a tree trunk... and become a sensory super-highway that carries big pulses of pleasure. But you have to be there, and you have to be paying attention... listening to the signal that wants to fuck you, and fucking it back. Sometimes giving up and checking out is exactly the right move, but there's a time and a place for that.

          Should I have a more intense sexual fantasy (which I've tried, along with other things)?
          Sure, what ever keeps you from losing arousal or thinking about the football... but staying in your own body and feeling what's actually happening in your body takes priority.
          You write:

          I see two parts to aneros rewiring... one part is about receiving
          pleasure, and the other is having it become all twitchy, involuntary and
          self-building.


          Those sound the same to me. What is the difference?
          The pleasure isn't just a mechanical thing. I've had the aneros jumping around inside me like crazy without any pleasure... and I've had orgasms without any movement at all. There's a reciprocal relationship between the movement and pleasure that can ramp things higher when you get the balance right, but pleasure can be built without movement.

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          • #6
            Some good insights there guys, as I said I will not give up. When it works I do get the focus and I can magnify the sensations but I can never really get more than I nice feeling. I think that you've hit the nail on the head that I do just bung it in and expect amazing things to happen so I would be interested to hear what other people do around trying to focus on erotic thoughts as this is where I struggle the most.

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            • #7
              You didn't say which Aneros tool(s) you have and/or are using. I am a novice users but already have helix, progasm Jr and soon to be eupho. They all should give different levels of arousal, IMHO. I started significant feelings of arousal around session #6. You may want to try a different model. Just a thought

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              • #8
                Hey @monkeyrj,

                10 years is really a long time... :-O
                As someone who never wants to give up I did wonder if anyone had any ideas on how to reinvigorate my long journey?

                @Clenchy made some really good points already. Unfortunately you didn't specify what the "the most things" were, that you already tried. So I'll just add what turned the tides for me after my first 5 unsuccessfull years:

                do kegels:
                Do them 3 times a day - 20-30 reps. Your pelvic muscles get toned after 3-6 weeks and you will develop a much better sensory awareness for this area. Learn to control the various muscles, it's not just the anus and the PC, it's like 10 muscles that you can learn to control individually.

                try new devices:
                I used the helix for ~5 years without success before I got my second and third aneros product (peridise and eventually the euphosyn). The eupho gave me my first super-o on the very first try and is still my favourite.

                try KSMO:
                This stuff is really, really good! And compared to the aneros it's pretty foolproof. You'll get first achievments very early and this is very encouraging.

                See, in the end this whole rewiring and super-o stuff breaks down to one simple thing: stimulating your (whole) nervous system (or some specific nerval clusters) to start swinging/oscillating to a point where you brain triggers orgasms. When you masturbate you stimulate your genital nerve. Dildos or aneros devices up your bum stimulate the nerval cluster around your prostate. KSMO stimulates the nerval cluster of your belly, which is rather big and more responsive... butterflies in your stomach when you are in love or riding a roallercoaster - that's your belly cluster responding to stimulation. KSMO teaches breathing/vocalisation pattern to build up orgasmic nerval swinging (a.k.a. the butterflies) in your belly until this escalades in an orgasm.

                When you experience how it feels, when your nerves are responding it's only a short step to stimulate those oscillations with your pure will only.Or as Taoists put it: "Where the mind goes the chi follows." Aneros sessions will be alot easier, once you learnded do manipulate your nervous system.


                Hang in there and keep us posted!

                Cheers, Unfug



                ----------------------------------------------
                ☯Open heart, skeptical mind.☯
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                Comment


                • #9
                  Keep at it! I have been at it for 12 years, the last year is when all of the breakthroughs occurred. Finally withan electrastim noir I experienced the bliss known as super O last night. .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    @thetechman, thank you for you post. I am traveling slowly. This is my fourth year. I have had significant health benefits (life saving) from Aneros use. I currently get series of small pulses that over the years increase in intensity very slowly so I know it is alive down there. Knowing your time span I am encouraged to continue on my gentle slope to the 'top'.

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                    • #11
                      yeah I'm in the same boat myself. I think I started in 2011. I think for me the problem has been one of routine. Its a just a boring routine now. though occasionally I do get excited but usually just let down in the end with nothing particularily special happening. I would like to just take a break for a while and then do sessions only when I really want one but I seem to have become addicted to something in my ass when I have sex or masturbate ha ha. I think there were some good suggestions here though. I'll see what I can try out and change things up.

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                      • #12
                        I'm not sure what devices you have... I have most of the aneros line, I recently bought an electrastim noir, which I used w/o current - that's what pushed me over the top. I'd imagine we're all shaped slightly different inside, and sometimes it just takes a different shaped plug. That being said, I am going to try again with my progasm - because I have been very close with that before. Just try different things, and if you are into it, mj definitely helps A LOT.

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                        • #13
                          I have all the Aneros toys along with a couple of nexus ones and the noir.

                          Funnily, I had a real good session on Sunday but again I can never seem to get it to build past certain point. It's moving on its own and the sensation is pleasurable for around 10-15 minutes then that's it. No amount of relaxing or contracting can seem to magnify the sensation.

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                          • #14
                            No amount of relaxing or contracting can seem to magnify the sensation.

                            That's the catch. The discipline us not to magnify sensations, but to magnify your awareness for the sensations. It's not about generating sensations - it's about processing sensations.

                            "Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."
                            ----------------------------------------------
                            ☯Open heart, skeptical mind.☯
                            ----------------------------------------------

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                            • #15
                              ha ha love the matrix quote. Does make sense too!

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