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Reflections

stream of consciousness - want to apologize for that, but no apologies - finished session - shea butter now my choice. 42 minutes - set my timer - gotta get back to work - gotta go the entire time - stop me start me

I've been doing the sessions now every day for the past 8 weeks, at least 30 minutes, mostly 45 minutes occasionally 60 minutes. I always set a timer.

I'm experiencing the Eupho being pulled up. It's not like I'm really TRYING to do it. The comparison came with how other muscles in my body work. I thought of holding a penny between my fingers. When I do it now (hold a penny) I don't have the least bit of feeling that I'm TRYING to hold the penny. I'm simply holding it. I don't worry for a minute about squeezing the penny harder than necessary to avoid dropping it. And I certainly don't have to think about which muscles to use. I could hold the penny all day if I wanted to.

I'm feeling that's what's happening with the muscles of my anus/rectum. Those muscles are coming under conscious control so well that I can now drop the technicalities and simply "hold the penny." I feel like there is a canal of maybe four or five inches that I can move around much as I might move my tongue. Like my tongue knows the little chip in my tooth, my anal/rectal muscles are beginning to know the Eupho.

I'm not at all concerned about whether my perception is anatomically accurate. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm a scientist and the anatomical accuracy IS important to me. But this is not an intellectual exercise. This is proprioception. This is full of contradictions. Embrace ambiguity. You practice and practice the scales, so that you can forget the scales and simply make music.

Reader Comments

Posted on 2011-01-16 10:58:45 by rook

Yeah ! First a tolerance for ambiguity, then acceptance, then "embrace" You are internalizing these elements at a phenomenal rate! nice traveling