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Sessions 8 and 9

One session before an errand and one after the errand. If I were goal oriented I'd have been disappointed in the first session. I think I felt the aneros on my prostate. I don't think I've really felt my prostate before. At least not in a focused way. I got the slightest hint of something new and different. A different note. Thinner, higher compared to the notes in the anus, canal and rectum. First session I just very gently touched the prostate with the aneros. No pressure at all. I didn't feel much, but I could feel the contact.

The second session was much more intense. Duplicated what happened in the first, then went far beyond. I started applying pressure against the prostate and putting my full attention on the feelings of the prostate. Again, just a fleeting glimpse at that note. But there. At one point I felt that the prostate was releasing something, and sure enough there was a small amount.

I remembered my blog of the other day so I checked on my prediction that I can reliably generate a p-wave. I consciously relaxed every thing, breathed deeply and slowly, I placed my awareness in my pelvis. Completely relaxed, but completely aware. At some point a feeling comes it feels like a twitch of sorts. Put the awareness on the feeling. Eventually the feeling builds, the twitches become deeper contractions. I hate that word! We're not talking about contracting muscles, we're talking about the experience. I want a better vocabulary to talk about this stuff.

Anyway, it was great. I stopped at four p-waves. I realized that I was following the p-wave up until it required more strength and endurance than I had. I couldn't keep up with the wave eventually. At that point I let it go completely, returned my attention to my pelvis and my breathing, relaxed completely and repeated the cycle.