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Session 5

The journey continues. Early in my practice as I am, I'm beginning to establish a routine. I let my wife know I'm going to meditate. She is invited to witness, participate, whatever. I shower and use the anal syringe. Generally clean up. Lay down the towel, etc. I'm going to stop describing that part.

I paid attention to someone (I really should know who) who said to think of the aneros as a pacifier. I did that for a while, and I really liked it. I just sort of sucked on it with my anal canal.

I'm beginning to get over my hygiene concerns. The idea of an anus is not as disgusting as it was very recently.

Anyway, I set the timer for 40 minutes, and pretty much just paid attention. Had what I imagine to be a P-wave.

Sitting here at my desk I'm getting an enormous P-wave. One of those, "your under our control" feelings. Wow, it's really rolling over me. I had to stop typing for about a minute or two. It won't quit. Not that I'm trying to stop it.

The key is neither try to stop it or to keep it going. Attention is all that's called for, no sense of control. I'm glad to set an alarm. This could become enormously time consuming. Better than any drug.