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Another Session - - Not Much

At the suggestion of another user here, I have been practicing some exercises. I have been able to isolate the anal, rectal, perenium and urethal muscles. I am still working on finding the scrotal muscle. I found that by holding my penis straight out I am able to find the urethal muscle that pulls my penis back in. And by placing a finger on my perenium I found that one. I seem to be at a loss so far in finding the scrotal. I guess it is like trying to find the muscle to wiggle you ears - - you can't exectly tell somebody how to do it, they just have to know that it can be done and figure it out on their own. So I will keep working at it.

The energy thing was amazing over the weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday I felt it surging whenever I wanted it to - which was basically all day. I tried the exercises in the car on the way to work on Monday. Because of the sitting position in the car I was only able to do rectal, anal and peremium. I was able to get some waves of energy going.

I was traveling by air on Tuesday and Wednesday and was unsure if the aneros would get the secruity undetected so I left it at home although I would have liked to have had a session in my hotel room. Anyway, I got home and had a two hour session last night. When I first put it in, I had a strong urge the something could happend right away - I guess while my rectum is adjusting to the intrusion. I had decided to just let things happen on their own last night for the most part and see what happened. Actually, after about ten minutes, I fell asleep for about 20 minutes. So I guess I was pretty relaxed. When I woke up I noticed that the aneros was more active on its own then I have experienced in the past. Very gently being pulled into myself and then releasing and repeating again and again. Sometimes when it contracted in, the contraction was pretty tight. I felt something starting to build a couple of times, and remembered that my breathing needs to be deep and not shallow. But after I took a couple of deep breaths, it seemed to kill the build up. So that was about all. No p-waves, no energy but I did feel like I was in a peaceful place.

Hopefully, I will be able to have another session tonight.

I keep telling myself to be patient and to enjoy each session for whatever it ends up being, nonetheless I am frustrated that nothing seems to be happening of a greater magnitude. I end up starting to doubt myself that something will ever happen - like maybe I am not made for super Os. I am trying to push beyond the negativity and just come back for more. Eventually it will happen - I hope. :)