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Abstinence and Diminishing Arousal

It's been a while since I've posted up a blog, figure I should keep my progress as current as possible. I've felt that since I've been abstaining from Aneros use )and sex with the wife( for a few weeks, the desire has been lacking and there hasn't really been any reason to post )though I do get urges and 'less sessions in the interim(. Looking back on it though, I probably should have done this a few times last week to help re-center my "self". Between numerous headaches, excessive driving )traffic( and the gas crisis in NY, stress has taken a strong hold on my life, meaning sessions have taken a back seat. I still try for 'less sessions as much as possible, but these have been few and far inbetween. The closest to a session I'll have at night )in bed, before going to sleep( is an energy meditation session to combat the headaches and stress, but have had no mindgasms like in the prior weeks.

Due to the hurricane, been spending a lot of time with the wife and family. These have helped with the stress, and improved my rather sullen moods recently )as well as remind me why I fell in love with my wife(. Still, I've been snappy, quick to anger and irritation, and generally had very little desire to do anything other than stay home and try to stay warm. Thankfully, my wife would not let me sulk, and forced me out of my shell to open up to the love of those around me. That helped significantly in combatting the stress, but it just wasn't enough.

Once power came back last week, things finally started returning to normal. My 'less sessions have been very energy fulfilling, leaving me bubbly, happy, and in general pleasant to be around )and I enjoy people's company, which is somewhat rare for me(. I find a good 'less session, whether I have any waves or Os, to be so self invigorating. It's not mental, or attitude related, but truly I feel content with my inner-being, and I'm usually flowing with energy in all my interactions. I've definitely grown more centered spiritually in these past few weeks. My wife has noticed a change in me, but she sees it as being a bit "disconnected" compared to my usual self. We spoke in depth about it, and I made her realize that it's just that I'm more relaxed about everything due to my deep breathing and meditation exercises. Stress just isn't affecting me in the same way it usually does, and I'm more care-free than before. She was just worried that I had started some mind-altering substances, but I assured her those worries are unfounded. To be honest, I wish I could start her on these deep breathing exercises and energy sharing with me, just so she could understand exactly what's going on with me at this point in my life )our lives(.

In regards to the Aneros use and my prostate pleasures, there isn't really much to report. Since the hurricane, my desire for prostate play just hasn't been a priority and the "itches" that I have are throughout the day when I can't start a session. By the time I've been getting home, I'm too tired )physically and mentally( to really want to start a session. A few times I've woken up in the early AM craving it, but I'm not a morning person and usually just go back to sleep. However, one day it was so strong that I literally could not go back to bed after an hour, so I started a session up at 5AM. Cleared myself out, pre-lubed with just some ID Glide )couldn't find Vaseline for the Aneros itself(, inserted and climbed back into bed.

Amazing sensations. MGX was dancing on the prostate like never before. I was able to notice the subtlest movements, the smallest twitches that normally go unnoticed were at the forefront of attention. These weren't pleasurable, in the usual sense, but the entire time I was inserted I could feel every little nudge, move, twitch, jump. It was incredible. Coupled with the growing feeling of my heartbeat in my pelvic region, I plateaued several times and could feel something more beginning to build. However, the time was ticking, and before I knew it, it was time to wake up and prepare for the day. Fortunately, I was working from home, but anxiously awaited a free moment to myself to start another session.

When I finally got a moment, I prepped myself in the bathroom with some ID Millenium )synthetic based lube( and some Vaseline )found it, finally( and started my session on the bed. Again, amazing sensations, but pleasure was just a bit too much of a tease, and I was horny for something more. After about an hour, decided to try my luck with the Helix in front of the PC )no erotic material(. After about another hour, couldn't hold back the horniness anymore, and had to finish myself off traditionally. Overall, the session was good, but was a little lackluster in the prostate sensations department. Still, this session opened up my eyes to the subtle sensations that I could be experiencing if I just relax into it a little more.

Fast forward another 4 days, and I'm driving home late at night taking the back roads. Getting some pleasurable sensations in my perineum, so decide to slow down and focus entirely on this growing pleasure. It began to spread into my scrotum, and I could feel my prostate swelling. The feeling was absolutely delicious, and got me rock hard almost instantly. The pleasure in my perineum just kept growing though, and before long I was having a mini-O, but the pleasure didn't stop there. After a few more mini-Os, the pleasure became too much to handle, and began to radiate into my cock, swelling it )and my prostate( even more. My prostate was fully engorged, and my anal canal was dancing all around, eventually causing my cock to twitch and spasm into a full-blown dry-O. It felt like I was ejaculating so hard, and yet nothing came out. It was amazing! When I got home )around 11:30PM(, I was still itching for that sensation, so I lubed up and had another ride.

This was like one of my first MGX sessions. Semi-voluntary contractions )my body was doing it's own dance, and I was just letting it( were all over the place, involuntaries were making the MGX dance like no other, and the contractions were bouncing around in waves. Breathing turned into gasping, contractions turned to twitches, and something was building in my belly that just begged to be released. After about an hour of this, the belly tension eased up, and I was just in a constant state of pleasure for the remainder of my session. No waves, no twitching )though muscles were still "rolling" in waves(, and quite a bit of pre-cum. I eventually fell asleep, and woke up in the morning with a raging erection that I kinda snuggled into my wife. Nothing resulted from it, but the erotic thoughts were making the Aneros dance inside me until we both got out of bed in the morning. In all, an excellent night, one I won't soon forget.

Anyway, the title of this post makes it seem like I haven't had any sessions in the past two weeks. This is only partly true, in that this is the first time since about 6 months into my journey that I've been able to abstain for longer than 3 days at a time )from either traditional masturbation or prostate massage(. In the past 2 weeks, I've only had 2 sessions )with a week off before the first one(, and I find that I'm just not aroused very much anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't GET aroused. I used to be a walking horn-dog, one of the statistic claiming that every 10 seconds a man thinks about sex. For me, that is no longer the case, as I rarely think about sex other than when I'm near my wife )and get a good grope of her various assets(. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, I've discovered, as I've become more productive with my time as a result )able to stay focused for longer periods of time(. Having borderline ADD )mental trainwreck(, the Aneros has trained me to organize my mind in a way that's helped me outside of the pleasure/spiritual realm.

Despite the lack of desire during these abstaining sessions, I'm really curious to see at what point my prostate beckons me to play. I don't think I've ever "waited for the whisper", but I have had strong sexual desire for sessions. I'm going to continue on this path and see how long it will take before it gets unbearable to the point that I NEED a session. Maybe it won't come, maybe it will. Either way, I've been able to focus on the important things in life recently, and even if I never get that call from my prostate I'll still feel like I've accomplished something.

Until you hear from me again, good vibes to you all.