Posted by on 2012-10-22 12:00:00
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Rikaaim's post just made me realize that while we all share in the same journey, the path that we take through this journey is a very personal one. We all have different obstacles (both physical and mental) that make each journey unique, but that doesn't mean that they don't resonate with other's experiences. I used to take EVERYTHING that was said on the forums to be the absolute truth, and tried incorporating the ideas into my own sessions. My problem with doing that was that I was ignoring the personal aspects of my own journey to try and discover a shortcut to the promised land. This was definitely the "aha" moment that I needed.
Whether I realized it or not, my sessions were always about "searching" for greater pleasure. While I did enjoy each session for what it was, and kept expectations to a minimum, there was still some goal that I was trying to reach. This is what I meant with "driving the car" instead of "riding in a hot air balloon". I felt like it was up to me personally, like I had total control, over where I wanted (needed) to be, and subconsciously I was getting frustrated and impatient that I hadn't gotten there yet. The first step in understanding a problem is recognizing that the problem exists in the first place, and this realization was a wake up call. It opened my eyes to what the Aneros itself was capable of doing, where it was capable of taking me, instead of where I wanted to go with it. That was my key. That was my moment.
Since then, my sessions have gotten better each and every time, whether I reached any spectacular height or not. I've finally identified certain key milestones that I thought were really nothing. I was ignoring p-waves, ignoring sensations in my pelvic region, ignoring the subtlest of pleasure in obvious (and not so obvious places) because I was expecting so much more. Now, the slightest p-wave is enough to get my excitement revved up. I notice the slightest quivering in all my limbs, in my belly, in my chest, and they entice pleasure without consciously thinking about it. All these things, while I still felt and acknowledged them, were being dismissed as being insignificant to the goal. Once I embraced them as part of the goal is when I started getting the most out of my sessions.
This has been life-changing, and not just in a sexual way. I find myself noticing everything about my mind and body now. Certain emotions are amplified when I begin focusing on the feelings they cause. I can alter my mindset simply by redirecting my energies to a more desirable emotion. These spiritual aspects were definitely unexpected when I started this journey, and they are still so new that I'm excited about the possibilities. The gratitude I feel towards the product, the company, and this community are so immense that I can't even begin to describe it. It is a sense of belonging, a sense of love, that I've never quite known before. However, I am glad to have discovered these feelings, and am proud to be a part of this community.