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this journey is insane

Ok, first, some catching up to do since the last time I blogged. First, I've had in total about 6 session since I last posted here. The first three were good, but endlessly frustrating. They got that way because they were too good. Or, too good without any release or "payday". It got so bad I had to take matters into my own hand after one session; that's something I try very hard not to do so that I don't confuse the rewiring. Well, after posting in the forum of my frustration I got some sound advice. The gist of it all was to forget trying to O, and just concentrate on the subtle, using only very small contractions. Ok, what the hay, I decided to give it a try....

Holy Shit!!!! The first time I did this it was amazing. Whereas I usually get the flutters/involuntaries and they would almost "interrupt" the mood, these were vastly different. This wasn't flutters, this was a complete takeover by the Helix and my body. It was dancing around and fucking me like crazy...and it wasn't my doing! It's like it came alive all by itself. It felt great, and I found it a big turnon too. Not sure why, but in that instant the idea of my wife fucking me really got my mind going. Safe to say, it had me at great heights. And this was going on for 5 to 10 minutes straight. Whenever the involuntaries would slow down or stop all it took was the slightest contraction of either my sphincter or PC to get them going again. When I tired I turned on my side and just did some even softer contractions leading to very nice feelings.

Then, I tried again last week. This time my goal was to just relax and, if I could, even fall asleep. I relaxed for about ten minutes, then did some very light contractions until some involuntaries started. Then I turned onto my right side and tried to just relax and zone out. After some time of relaxation, and my mind coming back from the slight dream state it was in I started some light, rocking contractions. I'd lightly contract the sphincter and then "roll" that into a light contraction of the PC muscle. I wasn't really holding any contraction for more than a few seconds. Well, this started to drive me wild. I don't have the words or command on my language to explain how wonderful this felt. I could feel a glow in my abdomen that grew and grew into what I can only describe as an orgasm type of experience. I'm not sure if it was the "dry O" or not but I can tell you this: it was NOT at the tip of the penis. It was more internal. But, the feeling - that warm expanding buzz - was the same. It wasn't overly intense, but it felt like an internal O. And here's the cool part; instead of lasting for a few seconds it lasted about 20 seconds or more. Then, keeping the same mindset it wasn't more than a minute and another one hit me, again lasting about 20 seconds or more. It was fantastic, and for the first time with my aneros I felt....fulfillment, satisfaction, release. Again, none of this was in my penis, and while my penis got hard on occassion through the session it wasn't at the time of these gifts. Was it a dry O? That's the big question. I immediately went to the forum to see if anyone else's experience sounded like mine: inconclusive. But, as I said, I was satisfied, happy to end the session, and it was my first session feeling like a went over the top of something.

That brings us to today. I had another session today and it started much differently than most. My plan was to again just relax and do nothing, maybe fall asleep, and then see where that state brought me. Not today. All I did was insert the Helix and it was giving me some cool sensations. I managed to relax for about 5 minutes before it was calling me to do some contractions. Well, after another nice (but not as powerful) period of some involuntaries I rolled on my side and tried to take things real slow. I tried the rolling contractions, had some light nipple play, and just tried to concentrate on how things felt. I'm not really sure what happened (although I can't wait to try and repeat it). At some point things were feeling REALLY good again, and I thought/hoped I'd have that same mini/quasi/whatever it was Dry O experience again. Not to be today. But I received something that was better. I found myself being so overcome by the unprecedented feelings in me - and not just my butt/prostate, the feelings were strong enough to be throughout my core - that I was letting out these low moans, grunts, and wimpers. That might not mean much to most, but suffice to say I'm not audibly inclined as it relates to sex. But, I couldn't help myself. I was almost wimpering at times and that only made things feel better. There was no "release", no "end", but I was on this heavenly plateau of pleasure for about 5 minutes straight. It felt as if I'd either explode in euphoria, or it would fade away. It did neither; it just stayed there, second after second, minute after minute. I didn't know how long I could take it...it was like riding the edge of the greatest orgasm on earth but never going over. Finally I couldn't take it and allowed my mind/body to bring me slowly down. I was expecting to feel the most sexually frustrated that I've ever felt given that there was no "climax", but strangely I didn't. Once I recovered I found myself feeling very sexy, aroused (mentally), but also very satisfied. No frustration at all. Then, just when I was deciding to try and get my groove back to see if I could return to this wonderland my wife came home. She knows about the Helix, in fact one of my sessions that I didn't blog about was her watching me have a (very) short session before sex. Sex with the Helix was great, but that's another story. Anyway, I still wasn't comfortable with her coming home, and finding me naked in bed with my Helix in, so I ended the session right then.

Does anyone know what the heck that was that happened to me? As I write this I'm quesitoning myself because, while there never appeared to be a "going over the edge", it just in hindsight felt so damned good and fulfilling. Was it a super O, or the start of one? Who knows; I certain that I don't know. All I know is this...today was an absolutely incredible experience of pleasure. And the other day (with the quasi dry Os) just felt so satisfying. So, for all the frustrated users, or naysayers, or beginners, or people thinking about whether they should try putting this crazy thing up where the sun don't shine, all I can say is this: this is becoming incredible, and I've gone from skeptic to KNOWING I'm on a path, and that path is taking me places I never imagined I could go.

Hope I can keep this progress up! Thanks for reading.