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Aneros Blogs > Blag (by Benjam)

On the subject of losing motivation

Well, it's been one and a half months so far and I have not made much if any progress. My sessions are still without much result. But I will not elaborate much on this; there are a number of other journals I have posted about the situation already.

I'm finding myself losing motivation to continue. At first I started this daily. Then I went every other than, and now the frequency of my sessions are getting lesser in time. I suppose I may be losing hope as time goes on.

I am a little relieved whenever I read the forums, seeing how there are others who have experienced this sort of difficulty when they started out. However, I still have to tread carefully. The forums and blogs create the illusion that I am part of the minority here, a very small one at that. And the more I read about the more rapid success of others, the more I feel inferior or somehow cheated.

Thankfully when it comes to the actual sessions, I tend to be in greater control of my doubts and other thoughts, though this doesn't seem to help much at all in terms of my aneros progress. I suppose I still have a ways to go before it can be considered truly hopeless for me, so I will continue as long as I can.

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Still nothing to report

So far it's been a little over a month since my first use of the Helix. I have nothing particularly new to report from my last post. Progress (if any) is still slow. I'm continuing learning to appreciate whatever I do feel, even if it is nowhere near encouraging of any sexual feeling.

On two sessions, I decided to break the rules by trying manual stimulation. I know this is not good, but I was curious as to what would happen. Depending on how I moved the helix, I felt increasing needs for urination. Not particularly any sort of distinctly pleasurable feeling, just that sensation of urination. I suppose this is the sort of sensation I am looking for through hands-free use, but I get nowhere near it until I work the aneros by hand. I'll ease off on the manual stimulation for the moment unless someone has any advice regarding it.

I will also probably stop posting the semi-weekly updates as I was previously trying. It's clear that I have a long way to go and I don't want to flood this site with many "nothing's happening" posts. I have a feeling they would pile up pretty high. It's somewhat depressing in a way.

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Week 3: Starting to feel like it isn't working out for me

Another week has passed with little or no progress for me. I used to practice for an hour every day, but over this recent week I've been skipping a few days. I think I am losing motivation to keep this up. I used to be very interested in having the daily sessions, but now I'm starting to feel more motivated to do other more useful things with my time than use the helix.

I wish I could come here and say, "Wow! The Aneros is great! My pleasure is so much better and it's changed my life!" like some people have, but I simply can't at this point. Over the week I've tried a variety of different suggestions from the forum, blogs, etc. Different positions, different breathing tricks, different forms of stimulating myself, different forms of mental stimulation. I've also tried the 'do nothing' approach, but in doing nothing, I also feel nothing. I just can't seem to find my way though all of this regardless of what I try.

Maybe I just need more time. My body may be more resistant to alternative stimulations than I hoped. I'd like to think this is exactly the case, but how can I tell when I need time when I can't tell if I'm doing it right in the first place? It's hard to know if I'm on the right tracked when I am blind to my progress.

I'm going to remain patient and keep trying. My motivation may be lower, I may have less of a desire to have these sessions, but I still have to give it a shot.

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Entering week 2: still not feeling it just yet

Nearly a week has passed since my first post here. I have been having daily sessions, one at hour each. Most of these sessions have been at night (around 10 pm to as late as midnight) while a pair have been earlier in the day. My overall level of progress is very little. I'm beginning to realize that it may take much longer than I expected to experience even the smallest of benefits from the massager.

Words on mentality:
In time, it started to become easier to drop my expectations and goals. My current goal is relatively simple: feel anything other than my muscles on the massager. I've also learned not to be as frustrated with my lack of any positive sensations. This required somewhat of an attitude change, thinking of the daily sessions as 'a possible chance to progress' rather than 'it BETTER work this time.'

I've also learned to avoid the aneros site forums. Reading it for too long only makes me frustrated and a little upset. I must stress that my reasoning is not because I think badly of anyone there. The forum is filled with a torrent of success stories (or decent progress stories) that are discouraging to someone like me, who has not made that same progress. I do apologize, but I guess I can be a highly jealous person at times. As long as I stay out of there, my mind is clearer and a little more patient as I practice.

I've learned that you can't simply do this at any time, especially not at night very close to bed time. Two of the sessions came very close to my typical bed time hours, and even if I tried to stay a little active with contraction/breathing exercises, I had to fight to stay awake. It is somewhat of a comfort to realize I'm comfortable enough with the massager to sleep with it, though I'm not particularly interested in spending an entire night with it. Maybe I can try this, but I'd heeded the warnings of some and will avoid it for now.

Uncertain progress:
Starting from around my fourth (of eight) session, I tended to feel a sensation in or around my penis. I suppose it is the common 'need to urinate' sensation, though it's rather weak so I can't be absolutely certain. Regardless, this sensation tends to stay through most if not all of the sessions it occurs.

As I've stated before, I often feel nothing from the massager other than the parts near the anal muscles and the tab. However, I think I might be developing a very minor sensitivity to the device. With some contractions I do feel something that feels somewhat like the head or another part of the massager. Whether this is being felt on the prostate or elsewhere is difficult to tell because the feeling is very minor and difficult to accurately identify.

That is about all I can really think to say for now. I will continue my daily sessions and post again if I encounter anything interesting. If not, I'll post my general thoughts again next Sunday.

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First two attempts - no results

Introduction to my situation:

Several months ago while studying the physiology of orgasms for both males and females, I came upon the concept of men's prostate orgasms. Of course, Aneros was suggested by one or two web sites. Since my standard penis-based masturbation is rather lacking in pleasure (it feels a little nice on the second half of a session, but typically nothing really phenomenal overall), I decided that I would give prostate-based pleasuring a try in hopes that it would have better results. Since then, I had used various methods to approach prostate massage, but none of them seemed to work. So late last week, I decided I'd take a chance and buy an Aneros Helix, which I had read was considered the more 'adventurous' of the starter-type models. I acquired the Helix on Sunday and, of course, had my first session that same day.

First time
The results of the first session were minimal, or perhaps even nonexistent. It left me feeling a little depressed, worried, and very disappointed. I had well read that it often takes a lot of time; that there is learning to be done and so forth. I can tell that I approached the situation the wrong way, but I'm surprised that I felt nothing positive, as if I might as well have stuck anything up there.

I was probably a little hasty in the "relaxation" phase of the session. After perhaps 4 minutes I thought I was truly relaxed, at least physically. So I tried the muscle contracting exercises, trying to get accustomed to how it moved with my muscles as well as how the outer portion of it functioned outside. There was some slight concerned that I could not feel the perineum abutment as much as I thought I should. I tried to reposition and press it in a little to no avail, but I figured maybe it would work out later on.

I continued the contraction exercises for a while, but I became concerned that I could not really feel any distinguishing sensation on my prostate. That is to say, I couldn't really even tell if anything was touching it or not. After about 20 minutes I gave up for the session. I had a very unfortunate sort feeling as I set things away and carried on with my day.

The next day (today as of this writing) was my second attempt. Since the last time, I had read various information from users on the forum. I believe this both helped and harmed me. I was reading accounts that first timers felt at least slight activity on their first or second tries, even if it wasn't exactly what they were hoping. So I became concerned with the usual stuff: Is there some kind of incompatibility between the model and myself? Am I incapable of even the slightest enjoyability from this stuff? etc.

Second time
(For this and all future sessions I'll organize it into convenient categories)

So I decided I'd be a little less impulsive this time. I took a warm shower to loosen up, and some nice music was playing through my head. I also had things preset on my bed so I could quickly get into it. And so after drying up from the shower, I returned, put it in, and laid out sideways as directed. Being at least a little more experienced now, I made sure to do everything a little more carefully.

Ten minutes to relax, I thought. I regulated my breathing and began to feel somewhat at peace with the silence of the room. At the very least I felt more relaxed than last time, and though I had expectations, they were far more realistic than last time. I felt my heartbeat slowing and my body felt quite like I was on the way to sleep if I were to have stayed there.

The Process
After about ten minutes, I felt that everything was in place and ready to go. I tried the contractions again. This time I was more conscious about it and tried to vary the strength, position of the helix, and other things in order to find what might work. Sadly, nothing of interest was happening, but I persevered, knowing that this was just a step along the way.

Some ways through, I tried laying on my stomach, as I have seem several videos of a user having success with this. It seemed that the helix felt more noticeably submerged, I could more readily feel the perineum abutment pressing, so I thought I would stay in that position.

Still, through the whole session I couldn't feel anything that would distinguish the prostate being touched. Should I allow some time to develop even a feeling of pressure to emerge? Knowing that I am as new as can be regarding prostate activity, it would not be surprising if I had to practice in order to detect any sort of feeling.

I'm also concerned that my body itself hasn't responded in any noticeable way. I will keep practicing over the next coming weeks. My hopes are rather low, but hopefully something will happen sooner rather than later. I can envision myself using these sessions as a time to relax even if I have no pleasurable gain. But if I won't gain any feeling whatsoever from the helix, I may as well just lay down on the bed.

I am willing to take any suggestions and encouragement I can find. I know I will be needing it.

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