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Fourth Session: Drifting Orgasm

(from the "My First Super-O" thread)

I had written previously about my very first experience, which, subjectively, was a revelation. More than anything else, that session taught me to become more aware of my body and my mind. From that experience and the subsequent three others, it became evident that the mental aspect was a crucial factor in achieving positive results. Distractions, internal and external, acted like brakes on the process. Being tired, being not all that enthused (lack of arousal), being impatient—these all dampened the experience.

Now comes my fourth session. I decided to change my position—from my side to my back—and though I immediately noticed a lack of sensation in this position, as opposed to the “tightness” I experienced on my side, I was determined to give this new angle a shot.

The lack of sensation seemed to be a certain “looseness” that the Aneros had acquired in this position. It felt like it was floating in place, while in the side position, it felt like it was being held or gripped. In all my other sessions, I followed, more or less, a pattern with my contractions—small and slow, medium and slow, small and fast, medium and fast, deep and slow. By this time I could feel a sudden fullness in my rectum—like it suddenly became very crowded in there—and the Aneros would be nudging a spot (incidentally, that spot only seems to appear at this point in my session) that seemed to be the source of my building pleasure. While that spot wasn’t actually pleasurable—more like putting pressure on a slightly sensitive itch—it seemed to produce pleasure as a “by-product.” Nudge, hold, release… a wave. Nudge, hold, release… a wave. This would bring me to a heightened state of arousal with full erection—a state that never culminated with any kind of release. Each time I was left at near peak, seemingly straining to get over that free-falling edge. While each experience was very enjoyable, the thought that something more was just over the horizon, so to speak, left me with a bit of disappointment, and maybe even a bit of frustration.

Yet, I have learned to take each session as a beginning, with a new perspective, as if I was an explorer setting out to discover places I’d never been to.

Which brings me back to my fourth session. While on my back, feeling that looseness, I decided to change my pattern and just go small and slow. Small voluntary twitches. I also decided not have any goal or destination in mind. Just go with it. After about ten minutes, I came to a full arousal quicker than in any other session. My rectum seemed to fill up. That spot appeared and the Aneros was hitting it square on. My erection was quite hard and trying to get harder by the second—it actually started to feel a bit uncomfortable. As this state of arousal built up, I was flooded by some of the most erotic mental imagery—of an endless sex act, of an endless sense of penetration (receiving and performing), of rising and flowing. And then I seemed to hit an absolute peak. The world simply stopped, held its breath, held its mind. My body locked up. My back arched. My eyes rolled up. I was at an incredible still point. A perfect resonant plucking of a taunt string. I flowed upwards. I flowed outwards. I expanded from the center. This was something beyond sex. Something beyond a “normal” orgasm. Instead of a frustrating denial, of being stuck on the edge, I experienced a soft lateral drifting while in a state of pure arousal. The string still hummed—though not as strongly as when first plucked. A gentle tap of the Aneros, and the process began to build again. And again.

It was an amazing and deeply satisfying experience, though I must say that during my session, I seem to have seen a glimpse of something even more incredible lurking just out of reach. It may be that this “something other” is different for each individual. For me, for some reason, it hints at an experience that could only be compared to an ecstatic mind/body union with a soulmate. I’m not normally so “metaphysical” or even “spiritual” but these sessions—and this last one in particular—has placed me in an experience that is best described in spiritual terms.

I have much to explore. At my age, long after the “magic” of the universe has been worn down, I am again filled with curiosity and delight.

Who’d a thunk it?

Will(from the "My First Super-O" thread)

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Reflections on My First Session

Reposted from the forum...

First of all, thank you for the kind encouragement and comments. From what I have read on this forum so far it is apparent that the members who post here are extremely supportive. On this journey, which in and of itself is ultimately a personal and solitary endeavor, having others to share experiences and insights with is vital.

I may take up the offer of starting a blog of my progress. I think it would be of general and personal interest.

As a brief follow up to today’s session, I wanted to touch on a few things. The most immediate is the “state” I find myself inhabiting. By “state” I mean my current emotional/psychological condition. I find it extraordinary that the feelings of well-being continue to persist. Throughout the day, I have reflected not a few times on how good I feel. I have been under the heavy cloud of depression for most of my adult life. I have taken medication for it. I have practiced meditation. I have experienced contentment and quiet joy at various times through medication and meditation. What I experienced today was very much like those occurrences. The major difference is that I haven’t been on medication in over four years or meditated for even longer.

Who could imagine a supposed medical/sexual device as an instrument of mental well-being? Though it’s early yet in my exploration, this first experience bodes well for this kind of application.

Who could imagine that a “sexual” activity would turn into a meditative discovery of bliss?

Who could imagine that a “masturbatory” event would have such profound consequences? Here I am, hours later, and I still can’t help smiling in quiet amazement.

This device, this experience, was much more than a journey towards orgasm. The implication inherent in this is quite awe-inspiring.

Who could image?

Right now, I have the need to tell all the novice pilgrims--those about to undertake this beautiful journey and those recently underway--to enjoy each step, to linger here and there, to take delight in every experience--open your eyes, your hearts, your bodies and minds. It is not a race. The destination is not important. There are no rules. No one wins or loses.

Drift along as if on a slow river. Experience each moment to the fullest. Think not of the journey’s end—to do so is to ignore this moment. This moment. Now.

I know that for quite a few folks, the ultimate goal is a “Super-O.” Nothing wrong with that. It’s healthy to have a goal. Where the difficulty lies is in the grasping of that goal. The attachment to that goal. I have had some Zen experience in my youth and like most of the beginners, enlightenment was THE THING. We wanted it like breathing itself. We wanted it with all the straining might of a heart for a soulmate. And that was the problem. That want, that attachment, that obsession, became a great wall—one that defeated every effort to climb. The path to enlightenment is not a straight and narrow path towards eternal bliss. It’s light, evanescent, shifting, a firefly eluding the grasping hand. It’s full of contradictions and absurdities. It’s pain and suffering. It’s joy and laughter. To truly grasp enlightenment, you must let go…

To attain a Super-O, you must surrender the need for a Super-O. Relax your grip.

Relax your mind. Give up your expectations. Each journey on this path is unique unto yourself. You will find your own way. No one can actually take you there. You must arrive alone.

As I started my session today, I found myself obsessing on details—this from having read way too much about the subject. Do I have enough lube? Am I lying on the “correct” side? Is my leg bent enough? Is the Aneros set right? Are my contractions too soft? Too hard? Too short? Too long? Am I breathing right? How often should I contract? What should I contract? Am I doing any of this correctly? Am I? Am I?

I came to the point of telling myself—“Enough!” It doesn’t matter. Relax. Empty the mind. Be within yourself. There’s no right. There’s no wrong. Experience what’s going on, right now. Pay attention. Let whatever happens, happen. Try this, try that, FEEL. There’s no goal in mind. I’m not here for a Super-O. I’m not here for a Less that Super-O. I’m here to experience whatever happens—good, bad, or indifferent. Whatever.

Once I threw off the yoke of expectation, I opened up, I became receptive, I became able to recognize and feel pleasure in whatever form it might take. What I felt in the beginning stages was very much like a gentle cool breeze on a hot day. It was unexpected and very subtle—but wonderful nonetheless. Everything built from that tiny shiver of pleasure. And it was only built by gentle handling—as if trying to nurture and grow a fragile flower. That such a towering tree might erupt from this fragility was a thought I never entertained, but nevertheless ultimately experienced.

Had I tried too hard to make that flower grow, it would have wilted and died…

Looking back at what I have written, it is amazing that the seemingly simple act of inserting a piece of hard plastic into one’s anus would warrant such ponderings. I thought about excising some of the more philosophical points, but then I thought, “No, this is how I feel. This is what I experienced. This was an extremely subjective experience. Maybe someone will get something out of it.”

For me, all this spiritual/philosophical scribbling is a sure sign of having hit upon something greater than myself—and yet paradoxically, realizing that this something IS none other than myself.

I see the Aneros as both a pathway to a wonderful orgasm and as a tool for better understanding my mind, body, and spirit. It may just be the ultimate meditation tool—it certainly gave me a sense of oneness and peace (a sense that seems to have longevity) in a manner far easier than the traditional weeks, months, or even years of formal meditation.

But as I have written earlier, I have only begun this journey. I can only speculate, but if today’s session is any indicator, I am in for quite an extraordinary trip.

I hope each and every one of you finds your own journey as equally rewarding.

Enjoy yourself... and then share that enjoyment.



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Experience, The First

I'm jump starting this blog by reposting my forum entries...

I recently bought a Helix after considerable reading here and on the web. Today, with the house to myself (a rare occasion), I thought I’d give it a try. Going into the session, I had in the back of my mind all the positive experiences I’ve read about. The negative ones were there as well. I though of them as guideposts along a middle path—one I would endeavor to travel with an open mind. I wanted this to be my own experience, not set against the expectations, hopes, and dreams (achieved or not) of those who went before me. There would, of course, be similarities in my experience, since the journey covers familiar terrain, and we are all human.

Guideposts. Markers along the way. With those acknowledged, I began…

I’ll not detail the usual prep and position—just that I lubed sufficiently, lay on my right side, right leg straight, left bent at the knee. I lay with the Helix within me for around 10 minutes. It did not feel uncomfortable—merely a sense of pressure (or fullness).

I began some gentle contractions of the sphincter. I felt pressure and then slightly more pressure. My penis moved with each contraction but did not become erect. At this point in the session, perhaps 15 – 20 minutes after insertion, I would categorize my experience as being minimal.

I began to strengthen my contractions and time them with my breaths—contraction/inhale, release/exhale. Slowly, almost imperceptively—and this is important I think—I began to feel a slight warmth in my lower abdomen and groin. Nothing earthshaking. In fact, if you were not focused on how your body was feeling, if you were distracted away from your body for any reason, I doubt you’d even realize this “warmth.”

I contracted nearly full and held for about 30 seconds and then release. The warmth seemed to expand and I was slowly awash with a feeling, how can I describe it? A sweet longing? A warm, gentle embrace? Loving peace? And somewhere beneath it all, lurked an excitement. I could feel a far away tingling in the pit of my stomach—a tingling I have felt before whenever excited (and not always in a sexual manner).

An epiphany: If you come to an Aneros session seeking a raw, grinding, sexual experience… you will be disappointed.

I experimented with contractions, small and large, and each time I relaxed I was washed and filled with sense of well-being. Again, these sensations were not overwhelming. They were meditative. In fact, the Aneros experience up to this point felt exactly like a good meditation experience—focusing, breathing, relaxation, spreading bliss.

Again, not the wham-bam-thank-you explosion of a traditional sex act.

These contractions I’ve been experimenting with were generally well spaced and slow. I decided to try rapid contractions.

After about 10 or 15 rapid, moderately hard contractions, my penis, which had so far been dormant, awoke with a vengeance. I kept up the contractions and found my hips thrusting, my penis as hard as it has ever been, and on the verge of an ejaculation that would not come. As gentle and blissful as the first half of my session was, this was strenuous and lustful. I knew I was on the boundary of unexplored territory (at least by me). And though I could not cross over yet, I left a marker there, knowing I’d return and take that step into a new world.

I finished up with an intense penile orgasm… my mind now suddenly facing a new paradigm.

This had not been what I expected—even after reading volumes of testimonials and forum threads. While the journey is similar, the subjective experience is quite different.

My first experience—it was akin to a 3 part symphony. The first movement was very subtle. If you weren’t paying close attention, you’d hear (feel) nothing. But there was a current, low and insistent, playing nevertheless. The first movement, if given time, builds slowly, with brief swells of joy, peace, bitter sweetness… the movement, if allowed to continue, becomes one of all encompassing beauty, and then the next movement, sudden energy, a drawing up of power, a thrusting, expansive need. It is the edge of a deep climax… closer and closer, building and building… and then there is that 3rd movement, which eluded me today.

But I know it’s there and, while I’d like to experience it, it is not the end-all, be-all. The entire symphony, every movement, is worth enjoying.

It’s not just about sex. It’s not just about getting off. It’s about being and expanding one’s mind-body focus. Though this may sound like complete hyperbole, I believe the Aneros is a viable vehicle for a profound spiritual awakening. And I wouldn’t consider myself as spiritual, much less religious…. Though that may be changing.

In all, a remarkable first experience.


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