When I saw a picture of a vagina for the first time I knew I had to get one. When I actually did get my first one, it was love at first sight. But I had a lot to learn after I got it. So with my own lessons learned I thought I would share some insights I learned over the years of keeping a vagina happy to help you get a vagina that will be a loving and loyal friend.
The first thing is that if you are going to bring a vagina into your house, keep in mind that it is attached to a woman; many guys lose sight of this simple fact. When you get up close and personal with your new vagina, there will be a lot of excitement, without a doubt. In the excitement, the cute furry vagina will hopefully drool all over you as it gets to know you; this is a good thing but keep in mind that this initial enthusiasm can be transient. when you enter into your vaginal relationship you do it with total commitment and a willingness to pay attention to all of its needs. Each vagina is different, just as each woman is different, and the same vagina on the same woman can behave differently depending on many factors. So you must learn to understand your vagina before you make too many irreversible mistakes with it. Treat your new furry friend with respect and trust and it will return your investment many fold.
This may sound trivial and obvious but it is a serious consideration that many guys overlook!!!!!. It is important that you also need to keep in mind that as tempting as it may be, don’t get your vagina as a gift to yourself at Christmas. The confusion of the holiday will not allow you to give the vagina all the attention it needs with the excitement of all the other presents under the tree.
The first thing that you need to realize is that unlike a guy’s penis, a vagina does not make all the decisions for its woman. As guys we all know that our cocks are in control of us 99.9% of the time. I can be engaged in the most heady discussion with three professional colleagues when a voluptuous woman with a thin bra and a tight silky dress walks by and the consideration of the worlds problems comes to as grinding halt as three cocks all strain at the pants that are confining them. The cocks will scream in shrill unison at their owners: “look at her, look at her, oh my god look at those nipples, look, look dammit stop what you are doing, look at her!!!!!! Don’t you want to fuck her?”
There was the occasion when I was at the lake with the love of my life, the woman who bore my children, the woman who I would give my life for and whom I will love until the day I die, when a lithe young nymphette with a very skimpy bikini restraining a lush bountiful vulva went into the water in front of us. As I struggled to maintain my concentration on my lovely wife’s conversation, my cock was making this huge ruckus jumping around in my own swimsuit barking and straining: “holy shit, look at that pussy, will ya look at her!!!!! What a camel toe oh my fackin god , her bewbs are gonna snap that string holding that skimpy top, wowee, wowee!!!!!!” It was all I could do to keep my cock from detaching from me, from jumping out of my bathing suit and chasing her down the beach.
But vaginas are different, they are very cool and restrained. Unlike my frantic penis which is always straining and pulling and yelling, vaginas tend to be more calm and reserved. Vaginas don’t tell their women what to do; with vaginas it’s the other way around. The woman tells the vagina what to do. A woman can be sitting at a sidewalk café when a good looking guy with noticeable bulge in his pants walks by. Her brain will notice the bulge and think hmmmm I bet that package is a hefty, meaty one! Does it hold promise of stiffening into a respectable live dildo .. . .but just wait a sec, is it just a hot dildo or is there something worthwhile behind it?. What about him? She will then start the scan. The scan puts the airport x ray machines to shame. In seconds she will size him up. She will look for marks of sincerity in subtle places that guys never look, mainly his eyes. She will look for your grooming habits for things like having hair where you should and no hair where you shouldn’t. She will look at his lips and his smile; she will assess his confidence by his stride and his fitness by looking at his back, ass, legs and arms. She will look at his shoes, a lot of women judge guys by their shoes. She will look for signs of his integrity by looking at his hands, do they show strength or weakness, skill or dexterity. Could she imagine his hands caressing her vagina and stoking it lovingly coaxing it to orgasm? Could those hands be trusted with her most secret asset, the seat of her femininity?
At this point her vagina hears its name and is very likely to perk to attention with a response: “did someone call me, is there a prospect out there that I should know about? Where is he, tell me what does he look like!!!!!!!” The woman will determine if the vagina needs additional information, and if so will share it with her vagina. Bear in mind women are cautious with their vaginas, they won’t tell their vaginas more than they think they need to know; she won’t build hopes up unless there is good reason. Your job is to give her good reasons.
OK so now that you understand the woman – vagina relationship you can put your energy into the woman; recognize that what is good for the woman will ultimately be good for the vagina and that will benefit you.
The first thing about the woman that you need to keep in mind that sincerity and integrity are the basic credentials that you need to get the inside track; while pop culture would lead you to believe that cars, clothes, a huge cock and expensive cologne are the credentials de rigueur to be redeemed at the hot babe store, its not so. Right behind sincerity and integrity are other basics like warmth, honesty, good sense of humor and respect; these are qualities that are equally good to have in your wallet besides cash. Above all else, when you are gathering up all of these qualities in your back pocket to go out and find the keeper of your vagina, always present them with an open smile and a warm hug. Hugs are greatly underrated. A firm embrace that shows your strength and your gentleness that is capped off with a warm kiss will make the woman’s head spin and her vagina weep. That is good; a damp drooling vagina does hold more influence over a woman than a wet one does.
So you have done everything that you should of and now there you are at home with the woman, don’t assume that she will let the vagina come out to play, even if she tells it that you are ok. The vagina may see you now and may like what it sees, but that is not going to get you your vagina.. At this point the vagina may start behaving like a penis. But unlike in guys, women are still in control, vaginas are well trained and the vagina will ultimately listen to what ever the woman tells it. That is the result of years of breeding as well as training.
You need to remember that playing with the vagina is a side benefit of a happy woman who is at ease with you; if you are lucky she might even develop deep feelings for you. If you are lucky and she does develop intimate feelings for you, she will grant you more than playtime with the vagina, she will grant you joint responsibility for its care and well being. That gentleman is the goal. Make the woman happy so that you ultimately have visitation rights and possibly joint custody if you show great sincerity and finesse.
After time, and the exchange of affection, mutual respect and evidence that you are worthy, you will begin to walk the path that will lead ultimately to the happy experience of having the vagina in your lap drooling all over you. Use the intimate relationship development time wisely. Don’t rush the vagina to like you to right out of the gate. Vaginal relations demand restraint and patience on your part. You need to be tender with it, tease it and pat it and show it that you can be trusted. Once there is a basic level of trust you should definitely kiss it and lick it if you see that it is drooling in response to you. Still don’t push it faster than it wants to go.
So after you get it home, the next thing you need to think about is feeding it. One of the things that you need to be conscious of is that all vaginas need a balanced diet to maintain good health. The best way to nourish a vagina is to use a cock to feed it copious amounts of cum; they crave cum. Every vagina is different though …some will require more frequent feeding than others. Some like to gobble it up fast and furious, while others like to savor the nourishment and stretch out feeding time. It will require judgment to figure out what the best feeding schedule is. Again keep in mind that the woman is in charge here, and that she will determine the amount and frequency of nourishment.
If you are lucky the vagina will develop a taste for you and will reject being nourished by anyone else. If it develops a taste for food other than yours you are in trouble. Vaginas are cagey and they can sneak away given the slightest opportunity. Once a vagina gets a taste for the exotic you are in trouble. The vagina might get into the habit of going out on the prowl late at night.
Again this as much a decision of the woman as it is of the vagina. So don’t let up on the love and affection to the woman and learn its feeding habits well. Tell the vagina how you feel and don’t be alarmed if the woman overhears you. After the initial relationship is established the best way to get the woman to feel comfortable with you is thru communication. Communication is the last thresh hold to cross that will get you joint custody of the vagina. Once communication is established, trust follows immediately. With trust all you need to do to get access to the vagina is ask. With the establishment of trust your relationship will be solid. Now the vagina will always be there when you come home, happy to see you and forever happy to curl up in bed with you. If you can tolerate its incessant drooling whenever it sees you, you will be guaranteed to have a friend for life.
Regardless of what the ASPCA says, a vagina is mans best friend.