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Aneros Blogs > iamroconnor (by roconnor)

Stimulating the Prostate to Orgasm (II): Probes, Prostate Massagers, and Vibrators

From the Guide to Prostate Sex at:
http://ambigendered.blogspot.com/2013/10/stimulating-prostate-to-orgasm-ii.html

In the first post in this series, I gave some general advice about how to approach learning to have prostate orgasms and talked about the easiest way to try to stimulate the prostate: manually. In this post, I will talk about the use of probes, prostate massagers, and vibrators.

Probes

The idea here is very simple. We want to use some sort of device to reach the prostate and massage it for sexual stimulation, both comfortably and effectively, thus solving the problem of fingers that are too short.
The prostate is on the front wall of the rectum. So, if you are playing by yourself, and lying on your back, then, after you have inserted your toy, you will have to push it away from you in order to force it up against your prostate. Or else you will have to reach around behind yourself and kind of pull it towards your back. These are not the most comfortable positions.
It is therefore very nice if the toy has a shape that helps get it into contact with the prostate. Many toys designed for prostate stimulation do have some sort of curve to them, for this reason. But I find that these 'curves' usually are not sufficient really to solve the problem. This may be because 'prostate' toys very often begin life as g-spot toys, and, while there are similarities between the g-spot and the p-spot, there are also important differences. The most important, in the present context, is that the vagina is (obviously) more toward the front of the body than the anus. It is therefore a lot easier to manipulate a toy inserted into the vagina than one inserted into the anus.
I'll come right out and say that the NJoy Pure Wand is the best thing I have ever found for this purpose. It has a nice, one inch ball on one end, a larger, inch and a half, ball on the other end, and a graceful curve along the way that narrows to about half an inch in the middle. It is made of metal, so it is extremely rigid. Either ball works well for insertion, and even the smaller one is large enough to stimulate a good portion of the prostate. The other end works as a handle, and the Pure Wand is long enough that it is easy to manipulate without having to double oneself over. It also helps a lot that it is narrow in the middle. This makes extended use more comfortable, and gives very little resistance to movement at the point of entry.
The Pure Wand is expensive, no doubt, and not everyone will be able to afford one. But I've used other toys designed as g-spot dildos, such as the Tantus G-Force, and many of them have worked just fine. Look for something fairly long and, preferably, fairly rigid. If it's too flexible, as silicone toys usually are, you won't be able to apply enough pressure to the prostate.
Again, what we are looking to do is to massage the prostate, more or less. You will be using a toy to do it, but the options are much the same as with fingers, as described in the previous post. One wants to hold the toy so that it puts a firm but gentle pressure on the prostate and then to move the toy around, in and out, side to side, in circles, or what have you. The movements need only be very slight. We're not talking about thrusting movements, but much smaller ones, certainly no more than an inch in any direction. The key is really to establish a rhythm and then to maintain it as your arousal grows.
You may well find that different parts of the prostate are more or less sensitive. The most sensitive part of mine seems to be the part that is deepest inside me. I can almost always reach orgasm by massaging that part. But it also feels good to massage the front, and I can sometimes reach a slightly different sort of orgasm that way. That is easiest, though, once I've had a few orgasms in some other way, and my body is aflame already.

Prostate Massagers

The first device I found that was able to give me prostate orgasms reliably was the original Aneros prostate massager. I have since used similar devices made by other companies. They can take some practice to master, but it is the best kind of practice.
Prostate massagers, as I am using the term, are "passive" devices, by which I mean that they do not use batteries, and they are not directly manipulated by the user. Instead, they are powered by the user's body, in a way I shall try to describe.
Massagers of this kind basically consist of two parts. There is a "finger" that is meant to be inserted into the rectum. The finger is usually curved and is just long enough that, when the toy is in place, the tip of the finger rests against the prostate. There is also what is usually described as a "perineum stimulator", which remains outside the body and comes into contact with the user's perineum (the bit between the genitals and the anus). The real purpose of this part of the toy, though, is to anchor the toy against the body.
Think of the prostate massager, then, as a little lever, with the fulcrum being where the perineum tab rests against the body. If you were to press on the base of the toy, where the "finger" enters the anus, and then release the pressure, the toy would move in and then out, but as it did so it would also rotate around the fulcrum. As a result, the tip of the finger would press upon the prostate, while simultaneously moving over it, and then it would move back over it when the pressure was released. If you were to do this over and over, you would be massaging the prostate.
Prostate massagers can be used manually in precisely this way. This is made easier if they have a handle, which most of them do. I have found moving the handle in a little circle to be very effective. Note that this is something a partner can do, as well.
But there are other, more effective ways to operate these devices. I would recommend starting with what is sometimes called the "clench and release" method. Once the device has been inserted, clench down on the toy, contracting your PC muscles, much as you would while doing Kegel exercises. And then release the muscles. Contracting pulls the toy into the rectum, just as if you were pushing on its base; releasing lets the toy fall back again. Doing this rhythmically thus massages the prostate, just as if you were manipulating the toy with your hand.
This sort of exercise gets the blood flowing and helps prepare the body for the most advanced of the available techniques. With this method, one again contracts the PC muscles, but not all the way. Rather, one tries to contract them just half way, and then tries to hold that position. It is impossible to hold the PC muscles at half contraction, but that is the point. The muscles kind of 'flutter', contracting and releasing of their own accord, which causes the tip of the massager to sort of dance over the prostate, as if by magic. The sensations this produces are incredible, and they typically bring me to orgasm within a couple minutes. Subsequent orgasms tend to come more quickly, and to last longer, and I can have as many as ten or fifteen orgasms this way.
As I said, it takes time to learn how to do this. It may well be like nothing you have ever felt before. Your body and mind are accustomed to reaching orgasm in a completely different way. As you become more aroused, you may want to clench down harder. Resist that temptation. Do not try to reach for the orgasm. Let it come to you. And when it starts, let the pulsing contractions of your orgasm take over the movements of the massager, and just ride it out.
It's worth trying different toys of this type, too, such as those from Nexus. The different sizes and shapes produce very different sorts of experiences. Some have not worked for me at all, because they don't seem to fit my internal anatomy very well. The most surprising one that did is the Pure Wand, which is very heavy, but still can be used as a prostate massager. So don't give up if it doesn't seem to happen for you at first. Keep trying.

The first device I found that was able to give me prostate orgasms reliably was the original Aneros prostate massager. I have since used similar devices made by other companies. They can take some practice to master, but it is the best kind of practice.
Prostate massagers, as I am using the term, are "passive" devices, by which I mean that they do not use batteries, and they are not directly manipulated by the user. Instead, they are powered by the user's body, in a way I shall try to describe.
Massagers of this kind basically consist of two parts. There is a "finger" that is meant to be inserted into the rectum. The finger is usually curved and is just long enough that, when the toy is in place, the tip of the finger rests against the prostate. There is also what is usually described as a "perineum stimulator", which remains outside the body and comes into contact with the user's perineum (the bit between the genitals and the anus). The real purpose of this part of the toy, though, is to anchor the toy against the body.
Think of the prostate massager, then, as a little lever, with the fulcrum being where the perineum tab rests against the body. If you were to press on the base of the toy, where the "finger" enters the anus, and then release the pressure, the toy would move in and then out, but as it did so it would also rotate around the fulcrum. As a result, the tip of the finger would press upon the prostate, while simultaneously moving over it, and then it would move back over it when the pressure was released. If you were to do this over and over, you would be massaging the prostate.
Prostate massagers can be used manually in precisely this way. This is made easier if they have a handle, which most of them do. I have found moving the handle in a little circle to be very effective. Note that this is something a partner can do, as well.
But there are other, more effective ways to operate these devices. I would recommend starting with what is sometimes called the "clench and release" method. Once the device has been inserted, clench down on the toy, contracting your PC muscles, much as you would while doing Kegel exercises. And then release the muscles. Contracting pulls the toy into the rectum, just as if you were pushing on its base; releasing lets the toy fall back again. Doing this rhythmically thus massages the prostate, just as if you were manipulating the toy with your hand.
This sort of exercise gets the blood flowing and helps prepare the body for the most advanced of the available techniques. With this method, one again contracts the PC muscles, but not all the way. Rather, one tries to contract them just half way, and then tries to hold that position. It is impossible to hold the PC muscles at half contraction, but that is the point. The muscles kind of 'flutter', contracting and releasing of their own accord, which causes the tip of the massager to sort of dance over the prostate, as if by magic. The sensations this produces are incredible, and they typically bring me to orgasm within a couple minutes. Subsequent orgasms tend to come more quickly, and to last longer, and I can have as many as ten or fifteen orgasms this way.
As I said, it takes time to learn how to do this. It may well be like nothing you have ever felt before. Your body and mind are accustomed to reaching orgasm in a completely different way. As you become more aroused, you may want to clench down harder. Resist that temptation. Do not try to reach for the orgasm. Let it come to you. And when it starts, let the pulsing contractions of your orgasm take over the movements of the massager, and just ride it out.
It's worth trying different toys of this type, too, such as those from Nexus. The different sizes and shapes produce very different sorts of experiences. Some have not worked for me at all, because they don't seem to fit my internal anatomy very well. The most surprising one that did is the Pure Wand, which is very heavy, but still can be used as a prostate massager. So don't give up if it doesn't seem to happen for you at first. Keep trying.

Vibrators

Using a vibrator can be a very effective way to stimulate the prostate.
There are many vibrators that are made specifically for prostate stimulation. Many of these are 'male' versions of g-spot toys, often coming in different colors: black instead of pink. (Enough with the gender stereotypes!) Some of them are specifically designed for use by people with prostates. But almost any vibrator that is long enough to reach the prostate can be tried. Since you will be inserting this into your rectum, however, the usual safety tips apply. The toy should have a wide, flanged base so that you cannot lose it inside yourself. And you probably do not want anything too rough.
Multiple speeds, patterns, and so forth are all nice features in any vibrator. But there are a couple things I have found are particularly important with prostate vibrators.
First, the vibrating mechanism should be where the toy comes into contact with the prostate. That makes the vibrations maximally effective. Unfortunately, however, way too many prostate toys have the vibrator at the base, where it remains outside the body. As a result, much of the vibration tends to be absorbed or otherwise lost before it ever gets to the prostate, which will make the toy less effective than it should be.
Second, it is important to get the vibrator firmly into contact with the prostate. If it just sits in the rectum, the soft tissues surrounding it will absorb most of the vibration, and, once again, little of it will get to where it needs to go.
We have the same problem with vibrators, then, that we have with probes and similar toys: Unless the toy has the right kind of curve, getting it into firm contact with the prostate can be very difficult if you are not a contortionist. Many prostate vibrators do have a bit of a curve, but that doesn't always help as much as it should. Either the curve isn't dramatic enough, or there isn't enough of a handle so that one can direct the vibrator where one wants it to go, or who knows what other problems one encounters.
There is at least one vibrator, however, that is perfectly designed in this respect. I am talking about the Duke Click-n-Charge vibrator, from Fun Factory. It has an almost scary looking shape to it, but the shape does the job, for several reasons. The bulb in the middle is what comes into contact with the prostate, and the girth of the toy, together with the extension at the end, provides some internal pressure to keep it where it needs to be. The little loop at the base, which remains outside the body, works somewhat like the perineum tab on a massager, again helping to force the vibrator up against the prostate.
There's not a whole lot to using these things. Basically, you just insert the toy, manipulate it until it is in firm contact with the prostate, hold it there, and let it do its thing. That said, there are many different places that one can put the vibrator, exactly: on the front portion of the prostate, on the back portion, in the middle or on one of the sides, and so forth. If one place isn't working, try another one. I often have the experience of moving a vibrator around and then, suddenly, it just hits the right spot, and I know I'll be cumming any moment.
If the vibrator has a curve, try using it curved up and curved down. The Billy vibrator from Lelo vibrator, for example, clearly seems intended to be used with the tip curving up towards the prostate, and that works very well indeed. But it can also be used the other way around. Used that way, more of the vibrator seems to be in contact with the prostate, though the vibrations are then a little more diffuse. It's a different kind of orgasm, but a very pleasant one just the same.

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Stimulating the Prostate to Orgasm (I): General Advice

From the Guide to Prostate Sex, at:
http://ambigendered.blogspot.com/2013/10/stimulating-prostate-to-orgasm-i.html

In two previous posts, I talked about what prostate orgasms are and described my own long journey of discovering how to have them. In the next few posts, I'll describe different ways of stimulating the prostate so as to cause them.
Before we start, however, let me emphasize that one should not expect too much too soon. For many men,* and especially straight men, the sorts of sensations you will be experiencing when you start to stimulate your prostate will be unusual, and it will take time to learn what feels best to you, and what kinds of stimulation are most effective. If you're not used to being penetrated anally, just adjusting to that sensation can take a while. So be patient with yourself. There are a lot of enjoyable feelings to be had here, even short of prostate orgasms.
Second, if you are going to play with your butt, then you are eventually going to run into a bit of poop. Usually, it will be just a tiny bit, and it isn't that big a deal, but it's not the most pleasant aspect of anal sex. Still, if the very idea of running into a bit of poop freaks you out, then butt play is probably not for you. It will be difficult to relax and focus on what you are feeling.
I tend to confine my anal play to the afternoons or evenings, as my rectum tends to be cleaner then, and to avoid anal play on days when things aren't quite right down there. Very often, though not always, I'll clean myself out before I get to playing. It feels good, and it makes it easier for things to move around inside you if there's nothing blocking their way. Many people already have an appropriate device for this purpose. A lot of hot water bottles double as enema delivery systems. Most drugstores carry these if you don't have one, and there are several simpler devices available as well, often advertised as anal douches.
You will want to use plenty of lube, since the anus and rectum are not naturally lubricated in any way. How much you need will depend upon what sort of play you are engaged in. If it involves in-and-out, thrusting motions, then you need more than if it involves just putting something inside yourself and leaving it there. Either way, however, you want to lubricate yourself inside and outside. For the inside part, I have found that a small syringe works perfectly. (Without a needle, of course!) You can fill it with lube, and then squirt it inside yourself. But whatever you use (and do make sure that it is appropriate to any toy you may be using, e.g., don't use silicone lube with silicone toys), double check that it does not have any sharp edges. Ouch! And not in a good way, either.
You can't wish yourself into having orgasms, so when it's time to play and experiment, try to get yourself into a nice, relaxed, comfortable mood. Have a shower first, or a warm bath. You can massage your anus a bit, to start enjoying those sensations, while you get nice and clean. It'll make your skin extra-sensitive, as well. And when you do start playing, try not to go right for the prize. That will only frustrate you. You have to learn a new way of having an orgasm, and that means you have to unlearn a lot of what you think you know about your body.
Most men's sexuality is very centered on their penis. If you want to learn to have prostate orgasms, then one of the most important things you need to do is decouple your sexuality from your penis. You have to learn to let sensations from other parts of your body be the ones that drive you to orgasmic bliss. So stimulate your nipples. Stroke your stomach and the inside of your thighs. Massage the cheeks of your ass. Massage your anus. Delight in all of these sensations, just for what they are, and not for anything they might bring.
If you're used to watching porn while you masturbate, give that a rest. Watch porn beforehand, if you like, or read some erotica, or whatever. Once you start playing, you will need to give your full attention to the sensations you will be experiencing. Your body is a wondrous thing. You are learning something wonderfully new about it. Honor that.
You are probably used to having an erection when you are aroused. But you may not get one from prostate stimulation. Or you may have one before you start and then lose it once you do. It does not matter. Your penis is not part of this experience. Until you understand this, you will not be able to have prostate orgasms.
You are probably used to doing something to cum. You are probably accustomed, as you near orgasm, to moving faster, pushing harder. Give that a rest, too. If you try to do something here, you will fail. You have to relax and just let it happen. As your arousal grows, focus on the feelings emanating from deep inside your body. Ignore your penis. Instead, focus on your breath, as if you are meditating. This can be a great way to focus your mind on what is happening inside you. It is inside you where the action will be, which is very different from how most men (especially most straight men) are used to experiencing sexual pleasure. But remember to breathe, even if you do not do it mindfully.
And remember: All of our bodies are different. I can tell you what has worked for me. But your body is not my body. Your intimate anatomy is different from mine. Your prostate has a different shape. It lies at a different place inside you. It is more or less sensitive than mine. It will take time for you to learn how to have prostate orgasms. Or maybe your body doesn't work that way at all. Maybe your body orgasms in ways mine does not. It's all good. Everything is normal.

Manual Stimulation

The obvious way to start exploring your prostate is by inserting a finger or two into your anus. And, indeed, this is not a bad way to begin. There are all kinds of wonderful feelings to be had from this kind of play. The anus is full of nerve endings, especially right inside the anal ring, and penetrating yourself with your fingers is a good way to get used to how it feels to have something inside your ass.
You can also get an initial sense this way of where your prostate is, and what it feels like when it is stimulated. You'll find it on the front wall of the rectum. It feels much harder than the surrounding tissue, kind of like a walnut.
Once you've located your prostate, then what you want to do, basically, is massage it. Use a firm but gentle pressure, and experiment with up and down movements, side to side movements, circles, or maybe just tapping it. Don't be shy! It's sensitive, and delicate, but you are not likely to hurt it with your fingers. So do whatever comes to mind, but always start out slow, and stop if it hurts.
When you first start doing this, it will feel strange, and it may take some time before you figure out what feels best to you. Experiment, and keep an open mind. You may feel like you need to pee. This is normal. You probably don't need to pee, but your prostate is very near your bladder, and your urethra passes through your prostate. You are probably just confusing this new sensation with one familiar to you. But have a good pee before you start, if that will make you more comfortable.
If you have a partner with whom to engage in this kind of play, you may find manual stimulation to be quite effective. Honestly, though, I do not find this to be a very good way to achieve prostate orgasms on my own. I tend to treat it more as a very pleasurable sort of foreplay. (Did you know you can have foreplay while masturbating?) My fingers are not long enough to reach more than the very front of my prostate. Even getting my fingers far enough into my ass to stimulate the front portion of my prostate is somewhat uncomfortable. I usually try to roll my hips forward to make access easier, but I find that my wrist gets very sore very quickly. The most comfortable position is on my side, and I reach around behind myself and put my thumb into my ass. This allows me to stimulate the anterior part of my prostate quite firmly and effectively, but it is very much limited to that part of the prostate. I've only been able to orgasm from that kind of stimulation a few times, and usually only when I'd already have several other prostate orgasms.
Still, as I said, this kind of play can be very pleasurable, whether it leads to orgasm or not. Try using a latex or nitrile glove. I find that very sexy, and it is much smoother than a bare hand. It makes clean up easy, too.
So, manual stimulation isn't that effective for me. In the next post, then,, I'll talk about some other ways to stimulate the prostate that work better.
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* When I speak of "men" and "women" here, I generally mean anatomical males and females. This use of the terms is not meant to offend men and women whose bodies do not match the usual gender expectations. As I'll explain in other posts, I'm a gender-queer myself.

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Stimulating the Prostate to Orgasm )III(: Dildos and Thrusting

From the Guide to Prostate Sex at:
http://ambigendered.blogspot.com/2013/10/stimulating-prostate-to-orgasm-iii.html

In the first post in this series, I gave some general advice about how to approach learning to have prostate orgasms and talked about manual stimulation of the prostate. In the second post, I talked about the virtues of probes, prostate massagers, and vibrators. In this, the third and last post, I will discuss the use of dildos.

Dildos and Thrusting

A way of stimulating the prostate that is very different from the other techniques I've discussed is, basically, to fuck yourself. Achieving prostate orgasm this way is something I only learned to do long after I'd learned to do it other ways, though, as always, Your Mileage May Vary. But I'm glad I learned to do it this way. It's a particularly interesting sort of orgasm, since the penetration and thrusting cause so many other sensations at the same time.
The difference between this method and the use of probes, which I described in a previous article, is that, in that case, there is not a lot of thrusting. Much of the time, using the NJoy Pure Wand, for example, I am more rocking it back and forth than moving it in and out, so there is not much stimulation of the sensitive tissues around the anus, but only of the prostate. What I have in mind here, on the other hand, is a form of play that is much more focused on the in-and-out, and so where there will be a lot of stimulation of the anal ring.
Just how much size one wants is very much a personal decision. But here again, it is important to be able to move the dildo in and out in a regular, rhythmic way, so you want something fairly comfortable. And you need a lot of lube, though how much you will need depends very much on what toy you use. More on that in a moment.
Simply inserting a dildo and moving it in and out will not stimulate the prostate very much. The prostate is on the front wall of the rectum, so a dildo that is pointing directly into the rectum is mostly going to miss it. To stimulate the prostate this way, then, you have to get the dildo to rub up against, or back and forth over, the prostate. And to do that, you will usually have to angle the outer end of the dildo away from the front of your body, so that the part of the dildo inside you will be pointed toward the prostate.
This angle can be difficult to get right. If it is too steep, then the front end of the dildo will hit the prostate too directly, which is at best uncomfortable and at worst painful. If the angle is too shallow, then you will not get enough pressure against the prostate. More than with any other technique, then, you will need to experiment, pretty much every time, until you find the correct angle, and it may not always be the same one. What works best for me is when I can find an angle that allows the dildo, with each thrust into me, to sort of bounce off the prostate, the tip of the dildo bumping against it and then the body of the toy gliding along it, and then reversing the process as the dildo moves back out of me.
The right sort of dildo will make all the difference here. I have found silicone dildos generally to be good for this use. On the other hand, I find that silicone toys never get really slippery, even with a great lube. Or, if they do get slippery, they won't stay that way. The most slippery lubes are silicone-based, but of course you cannot use a silicone-based lube with a silicone dildo )unless you want to melt it(. Using a condom on the dildo helps a lot, in my experience, and of course it makes clean up easier, too.
There is no particular need for a silicone dildo to be curved. Too dramatic a curve will interfere with the in-and-out sort of motion you are trying to achieve. Since silicone dildos tend to be flexible, you can aim them right at the prostate, and they will not hit it too hard: They will kind of bump into it, then flex and move along it, and yet they are rigid enough not just to get pushed away from the prostate. But a mild curve can be useful, as can a good-sized handle. Remember, too, that any device used for anal penetration should have some kind of 'flange' at the base so that it does not get lost inside you.
Doing this solo, it can sometimes be difficult to find a comfortable position that will allow me both to achieve the right angle of penetration and to get enough force behind the thrusts to make for a truly satisfying fucking. If I'm lying on my back, it is nearly impossible to reach down far enough to angle the dildo the right way, even if I angle my hips upward using, say, a pillow. Doggy style works a bit better, since, when I put my arm behind myself to grab the dildo, that naturally pulls it up towards my back and so helps achieve the right angle. But with one hand on the dildo, I have only one arm to support myself, which can quickly become tiring. What often works best is if I lie on my side, and then reach around behind myself. This is an easy position to maintain. Prone )that is, simply lying on my stomach( can work well, too.
When I get the rhythm right, this is a wonderful way to play. I can use a shallow angle for a while, just screwing myself without worrying about my prostate. This feels fantastic by itself—as I've mentioned before, the tissues around the anus are exquisitely sensitive—and it increases my arousal until I am ready for an orgasm. At that point, I can change the angle to one that does stimulate my prostate, have an orgasm, go back to screwing myself until I'm ready for another orgasm, and so forth.

Glass Dildos

I have recently started to use glass dildos as well as silicone ones. I love how solid and weighty they feel, and it doesn't hurt how incredibly beautiful some of them are, either. But the main thing is how smooth and slippery they are, even without a lot of lube )though you will, of course, always need some(. One thing to watch out for here is that you probably don't want a lot of texture on a glass dildo )as with, say the Icicles #5 or #29(. My anus, at least, does not respond well to rough treatment, and while slow movement of something with some texture can feel nice, too much texture is irritating, at best.

Icicles #22
A gentle curve, on the other hand, is almost essential with glass toys. The Icicles #22, for example, has a nice "bubble" at the tip, but it can be difficult to get it to contact the prostate in the right way, because it is hard to get the angle of penetration right. And because the dildo is so rigid, if the angle is too deep, then it will hit the prostate too hard. Ouch! That said, if all you want is to get fucked but good, then a nice, straight dildo like the #22 is just the ticket.
Contrast dildos like the Icicles #17 and #21. The curve here makes them almost perfect for prostate stimulation. If you hold the dildo at a natural angle—just as it sits, on its own, in your rectum, with the curve pointing up towards your stomach—and then move it in and out, the curve rocks the head of the dildo back and forth. As it enters you, the bulb at the end of the dildo is forced against the prostate, moving over it as penetration continues, and then it pulls out along the prostate again as the dildo slides out of you, all in all providing quite a wonderful experience. My prostate, at least, especially appreciates the "moving out" part. With many different toys, I find that one of the most pleasurable sensations is when the tip of the toy kind of loops around the posterior portion of the prostate, and then presses against it as the toy is withdrawn, almost as if it is pulling on my prostate.

Icicles #17

My only complaint about the #17 is that the ball at the end is almost 1.5" wide, and there is no taper at all, so it can be a bit difficult for me to insert it. I have to warm myself up a fair bit, whereas the #21, though not much smaller, is much easier to insert, due to the tapered tip.
Glass vs silicone involves some trade-offs, and I feel different ways about it different days. Because silicone dildos are flexible, I find that I'm able to fuck myself much harder with them, and still achieve good stimulation of the prostate, than I can with one of the glass ones. It is, as I've already intimated, too easy to hurt yourself with something so hard and rigid. So be careful!
By the way, I should perhaps add that curved dildos have a tendency to want to turn themselves around the wrong way, so that the curve is pointing away from the prostate. So you may sometimes need to check which way around it is.
Finally, much of what I have said about glass dildos should also apply to metal ones, though I have not myself used a metal dildo, so can't speak from first-hand experience.

Going Hands-Free

No doubt, penetrative, thrusting stimulation of the prostate is easier if you have a partner who can manipulate the dildo for you, though I confess I have never had that pleasure. And, obviously, if you have a partner who is prepared to wear a dildo, or one who has a fleshy penis of their own, then you have all kinds of additional possibilities to explore. But I have not had those pleasures, either, so I will not comment on them.
Still, there are other ways to go "hands free". There are plenty of "fucking machines" to which you can mount a dildo, and the machine will then move it back and forth, for automated fucking. Unfortunately, these machines tend to be fairly expensive, as in $500 or more.
I've had some luck, though, mounting a dildo to something rigid and then moving my body. Some years ago, for example, I had a vibrating dildo that had died. So I took out the vibrating mechanism from the base and mounted what was left on the end of a broomstick, or something of the sort, which I then was able to wedge under my mattress firmly enough that it would not move when I did. I could then get on my hands and knees, insert the dildo, and rock myself back and forth so that the dildo would go in and out of me. This is good for simulating intercourse, but it can be hard to get a good angle for stimulation of the prostate.
Similarly, many harnesses can be mounted on pillows, or wrapped around sofa cushions, or what have you, and a dildo can then be attached to them. Harnesses that are designed to mount on the thigh, such as the Outlaw Fix, are a good choice here, and I actually have a "harness", with extremely long straps, that was specifically designed to mount on a couch cushion, or an ottoman, or whatever, but I've not seen such a thing advertised for several years.
There are also various sorts of sex furniture that will accept a dildo, such as the Liberator BonBon, and these can be used as well. The BonBon does not work so well for serious thrusting, however, as there tends to be too much 'play' in this kind of setup. That is, it moves too much when I do, since the BonBon is pretty light, and there is nothing holding it down. )I suspect this is more of a problem when using the BonBon for anal penetration than when using it for vaginal penetration, since most vaginas don't "grip" nearly so firmly as most anuses.( But I have had some luck using rope, or something of the sort, to secure the BonBon to my bed.
Instead of thrusting, there is another technique you might also try, one that has sometimes worked very well for me. Using the BonBon, or a similar setup, I insert the dildo as far as it will go and then rock my hips back and forth over it. This causes some slight in-and-out movement, but mostly it effects a kind of prostate massage, pushing the body of the dildo against the prostate as my hips rock back, then releasing the pressure as they rock forward, and so forth, over and over. This is a nice, 'active' way to play, and it can give your hips quite a workout, as well as lead to some very pleasant orgasms.
Experiment with where your 'resting' position is. If you move your entire body forward a bit, so that the base of the dildo moves back, then the part that is inside you will move toward the front of your body, i.e., towards your prostate. If you move your body back, then the dildo moves away from your prostate. This allows another degree of control over the amount of pressure that will be applied when you rock your hips.

Conclusion

There are several different ways to stimulate the prostate so as to bring about prostate orgasms. Not all of these methods will work for everyone, but all of them have worked for me, at least at some time or other, though even now some of them are more reliable than others. No one can know what will work for you and, as I have said, it will take time to learn how to orgasm in a new way. Only through practice and experimentation can you find what does and does not work for your particular body.
If you're wondering whether to start trying, though, then let me just say this: You do not know what you are missing. If you did, you would not wonder; you would start right now. Prostate stimulation provides a kind and depth of sexual pleasure that is simply not available to people with prostates any other way, so far as I am aware. When was the last time you had fifteen orgasms in an hour?
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them.

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What Prostate Orgasms Are

From the Guide To Prostate Sex, at http://ambigendered.blogspot.com/p/how-to.html.

As I recounted in the first post in this series, it took me several years after I first discovered prostate orgasms until I learned to be able to have them on a regular basis. But what exactly is a prostate orgasm?
For that matter, what exactly is an orgasm? It is important to understand, first of all, that, even in men,* orgasm is different from ejaculation. It is possible for a man to ejaculate without experiencing the sort of pleasure we associate with orgasm, and it is also possible for a man to experience the pleasure of an orgasm without ejaculating. Importantly, these "dry" orgasms typically are not followed, as ejaculatory orgasms usually are, by a "refractory" phase, during which sexual arousal is essentially impossible, no matter how much additional sexual stimulation one receives. That is, while "dry" orgasms do release some sexual tension, they do not release of all of it. Additional stimulation will increase arousal, and one can have another "dry" orgasm very shortly afterwards. Men who have these sorts of orgasms are thus able to have multiple orgasms, much the same way that many women are.
There is a good deal of debate within the medical and psychological community about how orgasm should be defined. Everyone agrees that orgasm involves both physiological and psychological components: certain sorts of rhythmic contractions of muscles in the pelvic region, and an intense experience of sensual pleasure. The debate centers on which of these really is the orgasm: the physiological part or the psychological part? We know the two can come part. So the question is: Can you have an orgasm without feeling it? If the orgasm is the physiological response, then you can. If it's the psychological response, then you can't.
For our purposes, it doesn't matter very much how this question is answered. What does matter is that the two components of orgasm are closely related. Part of what feels so good are those rhythmic muscular contractions. Who knows why, but we humans experience them as extremely pleasurable. Anything that triggers such contractions, then, will thereby trigger at least part of the experience of orgasm.
And it turns out that one way to cause such contractions is to stimulate the prostate. A prostate orgasm, then, is simply an orgasm that is brought about through stimulation of the prostate.
My own experience is that prostate orgasms feel very different from ejaculatory orgasms. Part of the reason, I'd guess, is that many groups of muscles are involved in orgasmic contraction. Probably one of the reasons different orgasms can feel so different is that different groups of muscles are involved on different occasions. It wouldn't be surprising if only some of the muscles that contract during ejaculatory orgasms do so during prostate orgasms. That does not mean that they feel less good, but only that they feel different.
More interestingly, many men say that prostate orgasms have a "whole body" quality that ejaculatory orgasms usually lack. Indeed, men often describe prostate orgasms in ways that sound very much like how women describe their orgasms. In my case, prostate orgasms are not centered on my penis and testicles, the way that ejaculatory orgasms usually are. Rather, they feel as if they start deep within my pelvis and then spread throughout my body, enveloping and enfolding me with waves and waves of pleasure.
Many men also report that prostate orgasms last longer than ejaculatory orgasms. Scholarly consensus is that ejaculatory orgasms, for most men, last about 10-15 seconds. A typical prostate orgasm, for me, seems to last about 20 seconds, and it is not at all unusual for them to last 30 seconds or more. I have had prostate orgasms, in fact, that lasted for over two minutes, and some of these ended only because I felt so overwhelmed that I had to stop.
And, as said earlier, most men find that they can have multiple prostate orgasms, because there is no, or only a very little, "downtime". In my case, I often feel as if I need a rest, simply because the orgasm I've just experienced has left me somewhat drained. But sometimes, it leaves me energized, and I am able just to keep stimulating my prostate, so that a second orgasm may follow the first within thirty seconds or so. I don't think I've ever had more than three orgasms in a row like that. )By then, I really was ready for a rest!( And I often find that, even if I do pause in between, if I've had a few orgasms from one kind of stimulation, I need to switch to something else if I'm going to continue. Fortunately, there are a lot of different ways to stimulate the prostate, so you have a lot to choose from.
There's another kind of anal orgasm I've experienced as well, and which is worth mentioning here, especially because it is a kind of orgasm that women too can enjoy, since it doesn't involve the prostate. I call it a "peristaltic" orgasm. Peristalsis is the process through which contractions conspire to move something through a tube. It's peristalsis, for example, that moves food and then waste through the intestines. And it would seem that at least some of the muscles that are involved in peristaltic processes in the rectum are also involved in orgasm. So, again, if you can find a way to trigger those sorts of contractions, you thereby trigger at least part of the experience of orgasm.
The only way I know to achieve peristaltic orgasms is with the Peridise anal probe, from Aneros. These are very tiny little toys. They come in sets, with four different sizes. They're all just a few inches long, with a small bloop at the end )from 5/8" to 7/8"( and two even smaller bloops along the shaft. They're thus very easy to insert and small enough for anyone to use. The larger ones are a bit easier to use, but the smaller ones, strangely, are more powerful, perhaps because they force your muscles to work a bit harder to grab onto them.
You "activate" the Peridise by doing something very much like a Kegel exercise. Instead of really clenching your PC muscles down hard, though, you squeeze them just about half way. There is no way you can actually hold that position exactly, so what happens is that the muscles rhythmically clench and release themselves, just a bit, thus moving the Peridise back and forth in your rectum. This feels pretty good in its own right, as the Peridise gently massages your insides. If all goes well, however, your rectal muscles will realize there is something there for them to grab onto, and they'll start to do that of their own accord. And once they do, they'll decide they need to move that thing along, since that's they're job. And that means peristalsis, which just happens to feel amazing.
This technique can is be used with certain sorts of prostate massagers, such as those in the Aneros line and some of the Nexus toys. But there are a lot of other ways to do it, too. I'll discuss those the next few posts.

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* When I speak of "men" and "women" here, I generally mean anatomical males and females. This use of the terms is not meant to offend men and women whose bodies do not match the usual gender expectations. As I'll explain in other posts, I'm a gender-queer myself.

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How I Discovered Prostate Orgasms

From the Guide To Prostate Sex, at http://ambigendered.blogspot.com/p/how-to.html.

I don't remember when I discovered anal play or what led me to it. I've always enjoyed fucking my girlfriends in the butt, though I've only rarely had the pleasure. What I don't recall is when or how I discovered how the pleasure to be had from my own butt being fucked.
I would prefer to have a )female( partner do me, but only on a few occasions have I been privileged to have someone else penetrate me with a dildo or vibrator. Most of my experiences of this kind have therefore been with myself.
Before we continue, let's get one thing clear: A guy's enjoying anal penetration does not 'make him gay'. As has often been pointed out, the claim is absurd on its face. I mean, what is the argument? Gay men enjoy anal penetration; Fred enjoys anal penetration; so Fred must be gay! Well, gay men enjoy getting blowjobs, too; every man I've ever known enjoys getting blowjobs; so every many I've ever known must be gay. Right?
That argument is so terrible that it obviously can't be what really drives men )and it's almost always men( to worry that a guy's enjoying anal penetration 'makes him gay'. The real argument is quite different. It's that a guy's enjoying anal penetration makes him feminine, and being feminine makes him effeminate, and that makes him gay. The steps of this argument are pretty lame, too, but it at least makes some kind of sense. But to think that certain sorts of sex acts are exclusively 'feminine' or 'masculine' is sexist on its face. And even if it is 'feminine' for a man to enjoy anal penetration, why is that supposed to be bad? Could it be because what's feminine is inferior and men should not stoop to such things? That kind of reasoning only makes sense to people who are sexist and homophobic.
What's really ironic about this sort of concern is that one of the joys of anal penetration for men is how it stimulates the prostate. Which, of course, is an organ only men have.* Indeed, the main reason I like anal play so much is the kind of orgasm it gives me. I have always envied women because there are so many ways they can masturbate, and because of the seemingly endless orgasms some of them manage to have. One woman I knew used to cum five or six times nearly every time we had sex, one right after the next. I'd have sold my soul to be able to do that, but my anatomy always got in the way. Until, that is, I discovered my prostate.
My earliest anal masturbation, in my college years, involved dildos. Dildos are for fucking, and that's what I started out doing. I found out pretty fast that, if I fucked myself at the right angle, the head of the dildo would bump into my prostate, which felt fantastic. At first, I found it difficult to get the angle just right. If it was too steep, it would hit too hard, which could be painful. If it was too shallow, it would miss my prostate altogether. But when it was just right, it would cause intense sensations deep inside my body and make precum flow out of my cock like a river. Very quickly, the sensations would build towards that pre-orgasmic state, and I would find myself lingering there for a long time. It felt like, if only I could just keep at it long enough, or hit just the right spot, I'd cum. But I would always tire before I got to that point, or just getting too horny to keep at it, so I'd stroke myself to an orgasm with the dildo buried inside me. The feeling of my ass grabbing at the dildo while I came was wonderful. But I always wondered what would happen if only I could keep at it longer. I had to cum, eventually, right?
So that became my quest: To cum, just from anal stimulation.

My First Prostate Orgasm

One day, I was incredibly aroused before I even got to bed. I'd been surfing for a while, reading stories and looking at porn. The inside of my undies were covered with precum. I got out my favorite dildo, lubed it up, and slid it into my butt. I lay on my side and pulled my legs up, which I'd discovered created a good angle for getting at my prostate and helped keep my arm from tiring. The deep, intense sensations started more quickly than usual. I remember looking down and seeing a puddle of precum growing on the sheets. Soon, I was moaning loudly as I fell into a fantasy of my girlfriend fucking herself with the very same dildo while she rubbed her clit. Suddenly, to my great surprise, the sensations started to rise beyond what they'd previously been like. And then it happened: The familiar feeling of orgasm welled up slowly within my body, and then the contractions began, starting deep inside, and making their way to the tip of my cock. I shuddered uncontrollably as my whole body was overtaken by pure pleasure. It went on for a very long time, longer than any orgasm I'd ever had. When I finally came down, I looked at my cock and noticed, first, that there was no cum, just a puddle of precum, and, second, that I was still hard. And I noticed, too, with great excitement, that I was experiencing no post-orgasmic lack of interest.
I basked in the glow of that amazing orgasm for a while, and then I want right back at it. I did it slowly at first, but harder and faster as I felt the same feelings build again. It didn't take as long the second time for the waves to start crashing over my body, throwing me mercilessly against a rocky shore of overwhelming joy. That second orgasm was the most intense I'd ever had. I remember thinking, at one point, that I had no idea how long it was going to last. It only stopped when I stopped fucking myself, not because I wanted it to stop, but because I just couldn't cum so hard and keep moving my arm at the same time. And again: There was no cum, no loss of erection, no satiation. I came twice more that way, before deciding it was time to ejaculate, which I did, by stroking myself in the usual way. And that orgasm too was unusual, because there was no 'peak'. There was no building, building, building, bam! Rather, the ejaculation came suddenly. Without warning, I was just spurting huge amounts of cum so far and so powerfully that it hit my face.
So that was it: My first multiple orgasm, and I'd managed five in just one session. It turned out women weren't the only ones who could cum over and over. I was damn sure I had found nirvana, and I'd achieved my quest, in one sense: I'd cum, just from fucking my ass, though I still wanted to be able to ejaculate that way.
I wasted no time trying to have more multiple orgasms as soon as I had some more privacy. To my great disappointment, however, it wasn't at all like riding a bike. I thought I'd learned the secret and would be able to repeat the experience any time I wanted. But, in fact, I was unable to have even one of those special orgasms again for quite a while. If I could have one, I found, then I could have almost as many as I wanted. But getting that first one was difficult. I tried fucking myself in different ways. I tried getting myself really aroused before starting. But nothing seemed to work reliably. It was random, and it was frustrating.
Thus began my second quest: To find a way to have multiple orgasms when I wanted to have them.

Vibrators To the Rescue

The obvious thing to try was a vibrator. I'd toyed around with those when I was younger. I found one a Wahl vibrator at the house of a woman whose kids I used to babysit and 'borrowed' it now and again. )Yes, I know that was kind of gross. I was a teenager. Go figure.( I decided that getting some of those vibrations to my prostate would feel good. So I ordered up a couple different styles.
All of them turned out to be useful. The soft, phallic vibrators I ended up using in much the same way I had been using a dildo before. Adding the vibration definitely felt good, especially if I turned the vibrator on only after the intense feelings had started welling up deep inside me. There were times that this combination got me multiple orgasms, but it ended up not being any more reliable a method than the dildo, really.
The harder models I used in a different way: Instead of fucking myself with them, I'd just put them in my ass and set the tip of the vibrator on or alongside my prostate. That didn't work so well with the softer vibrators. Since they were soft, and had the vibrating bit in the base, there wasn't much vibration at the tip. But the first time I used one of the hard ones, I remember being shocked by the intensity of the sensation and thinking, "Oh yeah, this is going to be good". And it was. I pressed it hard against my prostate, occasionally moving it in and out, or side to side. I'd had multiple orgasms on a few occasions by then and could tell when things were going in the right direction. But I wasn't prepared for what happened next. Women often speak of finding just the right spot, holding the vibe right there, and then exploding. That's exactly how it happened for me.
I was moving the vibe around and then suddenly, there it was: the perfect spot. The sensations immediately became incredibly intense. My hips rose up off the bed, and I reached down and grabbed my balls hard, pulling them up toward me. The tension was unbearable, and I thought I was going to pass out. And then, without warning, wave after wave of the most amazing pleasure I'd ever experienced carried me along. Body-wrenching contractions started deep within my body and convulsed my entire being with their power. Even more amazingly, since I was using the vibrator, I didn't have to move my arm, so I didn't need to stop to keep it from falling off, and I was only halfway down from the first orgasm before I was on my way back up the slope to another one. Less than a minute had passed, and I was cumming a second time, with bolts of pleasure shooting out from some place deep within me that I had never even known existed, taking hold of my body, and shaking me to my core. That one wasn't as intense as the first one, but it was pretty damn good.
I don't remember how many times I came that day, but it was a lot. Seven or eight times before I'd had enough. I stroked my cock until I ejaculated, with the vibrator still buzzing away inside me. I was so turned on that I started scooping up my cum, licking it off my hands, and rubbing it all over my face. And there was a ton of it, too. That got me so turned on that I stroked myself to another orgasm. That one was more relaxing and involved only a dribble of cum. I was drained but very, very satisfied.
Once again, I thought I'd discovered the secret, and once again I was disappointed. The hard vibrator, for sure, was able to get me off a bit more reliably than the dildos. G-spot vibrators, which I tried next, were a bit better. But none of them were really reliable. And I still hadn't managed to ejaculate without touching my dick.

Prostate Orgasms on Demand

Fate was on my side, though. Several months later, I ordered a couple more toys, and my order arrived with a free waterproof vibrator. I didn't care that it was waterproof. What was cool about it was that it had the vibrating mechanism at the tip instead of at the base, and that meant that the vibrations at the tip were much more intense than those in any of my other toys. That, I figured, had to be a good thing, and I wasted no time finding out.
That vibrator turned out to be the best one I'd had to that point, and my first experience with it was beyond memorable. I came over and over and over, masturbating with that thing in my ass for over an hour, though I did pause at one point to give myself a real good butt-fucking with one of my dildos. I'd say I lost count of how many orgasms I had that day, but I was so incredibly turned-on that I was never even able to start counting.
Even that vibrator, though, was still not reliable at giving me multiple orgasms. It did, however, help me attain my other quest, totally accidentally. One day, I was playing with it and was feeling quite tired. I'd been trying to have that first 'special' orgasm, but nothing was working. So I just decided to rest for a while. I lay back and left the vibe buzzing in my ass. I rested there for probably five minutes and then started mindlessly playing with my nipples, pinching and squeezing them. Then I felt it start. I was already very excited, from what I'd been doing previously, and my nipples have always been very sensitive, so playing with them was making my cock really hard. I was about to reach down and move the vibrator back up against my prostate when, all of a sudden, I felt myself racing towards orgasm. I reached down and put my hands alongside my cock, touching my thighs, when my cock suddenly started shaking and spewing cum all over my body. It wasn't all that great an orgasm, in fact, but what was satisfying was the fact that I'd finally done it. I'd finally ejaculated just from anal stimulation!
What finally did allow me to have multiple orgasms on a regular basis was the original Aneros massager, which I purchased not long after the episode I just described. I'll talk more about it, how it is used, and some of the other techniques I've learned since in future articles in this series.

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* When I speak of "men" and "women" here, I generally mean anatomical males and females. This use of the terms is not meant to offend men and women whose bodies do not match the usual gender expectations. As I'll explain in other posts, I'm a gender-queer myself.

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