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Sex and Death

The following is quoted from a post of mine in The Tao Bums Forum. I believe that it reflects another dimension of the life force energies we are working with in their orgasmic and ecstatic forms here and connects us all to the poet's long held assertion of the union of sex and death:


My mother in her mid-80s had two surgeries for a life threatening condition; the first emergency to stop the condition and the second to repair temporary elements from the first. She had thought out her choices and intention long before and had prepared a living will.

After recovering from the violent hallucinations induced by the morphine given her after the second surgery, she talked quietly with me and said that she could not continue this medical path, and invoked her living will with absolute, crystal clear intent.

Soon she was transferred to a palliative care ward. It was cramped and noisy; restless and uncomfortable for her initially. That evening she manifested many symptoms and several nurses and her doctor attended. My brother and his partner and my wife and I were there. At some point she escalated into severe coughing, mucus, and cramping; sitting up rapidly and falling back repeatedly.

My brother and I were on either side of her bed at this point and the nurses and doctor standing by, not having any particular diagnosis or treatment at that moment. My brother and I were each holding an opposite hand and elbow of our mother through this sitting up / falling back in an effort to cushion and stabilize her motion, while talking to her to comfort and elicit her reports of what was the problem /what was it she needed.

Both of us began to feel a great sense of heat/energy/scintillations in our hands, going deeper and deeper and rising in power. With this she relaxed and remained resting for a few moments and the nurses took over again.

Astounded at this phenomenon, and having that energy remain pulsating rapidly throughout our hands we went out to the corridor where our partners were watching all this and waiting. We asked them to put their hands out in front of them face up, and then hovered our hands just above theirs without quite touching. They could feel very palpable persistent energy/vibrations/warmth from our hands, after wondering why we asked them to do this. What was that?

As she was able to relax after this episode, but not having died then as seemed to be where things were headed that evening, she then slipped any medication out the side of her mouth and never ate or drank again, but agreed to me, my brother or our partners swabbing her mouth with a moisturizing gel. Fortunately she was able to be transferred to a private palliative care suite and lived relaxed, in and out of conscious lucid dream states talking but not in clear words to those in the dreams, and to us simultaneously for several days before going into a sleep/brief-waking/sleep cycles and then into a coma, until after my brother returned from a long-planned trip with his son, of about ten days. The next day with both my brother and I in her room with her, and after days of no movement and coma, she stirred, lifted her head the little she could and worked her desiccated mouth as best she could, determined to articulate what we heard as: "Thank you...", with the attempt at a smile as far as her body could then do that, and left her body then and there.

These energies exist. If you aren't open and/or if you intend not to sense them, you likely may not. That does not prove they do not exist. Because they do not fit our model of the electromagnetic spectrum, or tickle our sensing instruments does not mean they do not exist.

Although I have sensed and worked with my energies for some time, her emanations that evening took me completely by surprise and were so powerful, at first I did not equate what was happening to anything like chi.
The doctor and nurses showed no interest in discussing it.

It is salutary that just as physics thought we were finally approaching the Grand Unified Theory of everything physical/energetic, we found that the Standard Model and related variants only explain about 4% of reality and 96% is labelled Dark Energy and Dark Matter, two categories about which we can currently only begin to speculate.

this is a good time to be enfleshed here

artform


In another thread there the following questions were asked by another poster

In cultures all over the world there are beings who guide the newly deceased safely to their destination, whatsoever that may be. I know that some humans are called to the same path.

Is any one here experienced with guiding the dead to places? What spiritual practices can loved ones perform to help those on their last legs?

Yours humbly,
James


and I replied with the following including the excerpts from the above:


<<<Soon she was transferred to a palliative care ward. It was cramped and noisy; restless and uncomfortable for her initially. That evening she manifested many symptoms and several nurses and her doctor attended. My brother and his partner and my wife and I were there. At some point she escalated into severe coughing, mucus, and cramping; sitting up rapidly and falling back repeatedly.

My brother and I were on either side of her bed at this point and the nurses and doctor standing by, not having any particular diagnosis or treatment at that moment. My brother and I were each holding an opposite hand and elbow of our mother through this sitting up / falling back in an effort to cushion and stabilize her motion, while talking to her to comfort and elicit her reports of what was the problem /what was it she needed.

Both of us began to feel a great sense of heat/energy/scintillations in our hands, going deeper and deeper and rising in power. With this she relaxed and remained resting for a few moments and the nurses took over again.>>>

I have no doubt from that experience we were doing what we could to assist and communicate while she was attempting to leave. That lifeforce projection by her, for I cannot think it was anything but powerful intention driving it, was her first effort. A very determined and self-assured person, she had come very close to dying from a childhood disease when she was about six years of age.

<<<As she was able to relax after this episode, but not having died then as seemed to be where things were headed that evening, she then slipped any medication out the side of her mouth and never ate or drank again, but agreed to me, my brother or our partners swabbing her mouth with a moisturizing gel. Fortunately she was able to be transferred to a private palliative care suite and lived relaxed, in and out of conscious lucid dream states talking but not in clear words to those in the dreams, and to us simultaneously for several days before going into a sleep/brief-waking/sleep cycles and then into a coma, until after my brother returned from a long-planned trip with his son, of about ten days.>>>

Throughout this period, I was there daily and other family and the family minister visited from time to time. She cheerfully conversed with us and gradually also with her ethereal visitors, but in increasingly garbled speak as her vocal tract was drying and diminishing. Yet she continued to find meaning in our interchanges and joy. I brushed her hair regularly, which was one her great comforts. Through a period into the sleep to coma phase, she expressed discomfort and small doses of morphine alleviated that pain and through this virtually all talking stopped. I sang old favourite songs and hymns of hers. Occasionally she seemed to try to smile or hum...

<<<The next day with both my brother and I in her room with her, and after days of no movement and coma, she stirred, lifted her head the little she could and worked her desiccated mouth as best she could, determined to articulate what we heard as: "Thank you...", with the attempt at a smile as far as her body could then do that, and left her body then and there.>>>

We talked and sang to her gently through this until she came out of the coma briefly. We hugged her and kissed her and brushed her hair again as she was leaving and assured her we would be alright. "Everything that can be done will be done.", I said and looking into her eyes you could see her peace. It was an honour and a privilege to be able to be there throughout.

all the best to you

artform

Reader Comments

Posted on 2009-02-21 21:03:23 by The_Bishop

This is a powerful post, thank you for sharing artform.

Posted on 2009-03-21 09:41:17 by Love_is

Hello artform, :)

I agree with The_Bishop. A very powerful story of your life experience. It effected me greatly. Both yourself and your mother from your accounts seemed completely accepting and at peace with the death of her physical shell. I'm always awed and humbled by such displays of love, acceptence and self-less generosity. I've always liked the things you've had to say in your posts, and the underlying message put across. This blog entry just confirms that. You're a good soul artform.