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Aneros Blogs > DarkEngine's blog (by DarkEngine)

Burning arousal in one go

More and more, it begins to dawn on me that Aneros isn’t really all that necessary for some good hands-free orgasms. Frankly, it’s been that case since half a year into my journey. Today, I had roughly an hours worth of crazy Dry-Os — letting it finally ignite from a spark of arousal. The spark in question often develops initially from innocent glimpses of anything eye-catching — like a pin-up girl, or a throw-away sex scene in a film. Crap like that are plastered all over the net and TV. It flies past my mind, but about five days after the refractory period, libido hits its peak. It becomes increasingly tough to ignore that imagery.

And Thursday was such a case — it felt amazing. My perineum, prostate, ass… all were warm, tingling and buzzing; just like what users on the forum report! Tumblr also proves its a fantastic source of porno, as much as funny posts and awesome projects. I precum’ed a little too, and although one shouldn’t, I see it as a barometer on how active the prostate was. Quite a bit, from the looks of it.

One nice aspect about Anerosless sessions is the ease of experimenting on stimulation. The device isn’t in there having a party and making some noise, so it’s easier to see what works on creating unique sensations. I practiced different hums to see which effects the abdomen, for instance. I also touched around the body and neck, varying between rubbing and tapping — the neck certainly gets the prostate active.

Later that day, I decided to give the Progasm a go — the session wasn’t that effective, in fact. Some sweet moments did arise unique to the device, for sure, but it didn’t scoop me away into Orgasm world. Hmm.

It goes back to arousal levels. Must of blown a lot of it on that spark.

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Fantastic Session

TL;DR:
* Week of abstaining from anything erotic
* Builds libido perfectly for a session
* Sweet sensations, everything happens without any prompting
* Clamping solidly, continuously
* Allow breaks to naturally happen for around five minutes.
* Sex is on fire.
* I really hope the neighbours don't hear my moaning or humming.

Now I'm into a good routine of sessions! Every five to eight days or so is when the libido builds up enough that my mind urges for some sexual activity. That's something of a sweet-spot for Aneros session — and it's relatively new, first uncovered early into the abstaining for a month. The big build-up of libido in question is likely from divorcing myself of anything erotic during one week, most of all nipple stimulation, which can quickly cause an orgasm to burst the bubble. (However, it's great before a session to get some momentum going)

So basically, Aneros sessions of recent act as a valve to let off some sexual energy.

Or frustration; last night had a scenario of stressing needlessly on whether to have a session, partly due to the awkward after-effects detailed at the end. Pleasure waves began making unprompted rounds that day - a sign of libido hitting its peak. At the same time, I was feeling oddly grumpy and fed up. That alone can often break sessions, resulting in delaying them by a day or two. But I went with it. Besides, the Progasm may cause problems like last time and the session is only an hour.

Nope. Luckily the Progasm slipped in fine with virtually no pain. The time with it was…wow, better than ever. First session in a while where I legitimately felt like progress was made, even if 'progress' shouldn't be a part of my experience at this point. Sadly it's now difficult to explicitly clarify —what-- was so good, other than your typical "REALLY GOOD and EVEN BETTER!!!" I guess the "daunting, looming, gargantuan build-up" I mentioned in late 2012 is now commonplace when using the Progasm; maybe it's not a build up like I initially thought, but rather an orgasm. There's this slight wave of faint nausea and adrenaline before the Progasm and body starts dancing; varying the breathing pattern pumps up the p-waves frantically. Often the orgasms would be so tense, I'd clamp vigorously and my ass would start pushing out the Aneros — then shoot it back in, hitting the prostate. Drop of precum would often appear. Moaning nowadays is impossible to hold back, give or take.

The best part of the whole session (and those recently, too) is it all happens for me. I really don't have to do anything for the Aneros and body to start joining together and creating some high-octane magic. Again, the week abstaining is a key factor in all this.

The only issue is that with these sessions, my arousal gets so crazy high that I desperately want some release; naturally the entire load is blown on masturbating for a Super-T. And this is a complicated, angst-y crossroad: If I ejaculate, I'll feel like complete crap, and briefly sink into self-loathing. Or I avoid this, just take out the Aneros and remain on edge and turn into an emotional see-saw.

Both honestly have their pros and cons. Last night I just took out the Aneros, sternly avoiding a Super-T. I couldn't sleep much because (among other factors) my arousal was rocketing all over the place, even if I loved that feeling back in 2011. Even now, my knee is constantly shaking because my arousal is live-wired. My emotions are all over the place.

But alas, I'd be complaining likewise if I ejaculated. I'd be all grumpy and upset on what a looser I am, and behave somewhat irrationally. The day would probably be spent rotting on my chair! It's a win-loose situation, and this its one of the reasons why I hesitate on an Aneros session.

But whatever, amazing session, still glad I had one!

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Back to Aneros!

TL;DR:
* Finally a session!
* It wasn't much.
* Ass rejecting the Progasm.
* Lingering arousal )Damnit…(
* Actually feels like I need to pee when touching the prostate now.

One month has fully passed! The goose was cooked, and it was time to see how a session would fair — but only until my body and mind had a wanting for one. Today felt like such a time, possibly due to a near wet-dream last night.

And I’d also try having a session during the day! It’d seem the most appropriate — I’m wide awake and it’s just me in the house. Perfecto.

So in goes the Progasm! And…the session wasn’t that great. It certainly wasn’t dud material, as some sensations swelled outside of my control, but it wasn’t the surprise smack that my previous session gave either. What gives?

For one, the Progasm was not staying put. This model kept trying to slide its way out, like my ass was pushing it out of bed. I’ve heard some customers have this issue, but I’d never thought it’d occur just like that. Usually the ass pushes when clamping down on orgasms, but even then, devices often stay put. So that got in the way of letting the Aneros do what it should.

Secondly, ass pains aside, my mind just didn’t quite sink into the experience. It really felt like a trip back to 2012 when I’d sulk that nothing happens, even when doing nothing. Even some erotic material didn’t spur much, along with nipple touching. Maybe that’s a lie - some positions got the device going, but not for long. Despite that, I did precum a bit more than usual. Month build up and all.

After 30 mins, I ended the session and pulled the device out. It had ALREADY escaped halfway. I pondered on why the session wasn’t so great, with two schools of thought: The Progasm didn’t settle in like usual, and might of been too strong for now. Or, my mind wasn’t really in the mood after all, and maybe requires a few more sessions to sink in - perhaps a few more days of break for my brain to decide, even.

Interestingly I wasn’t too fussed by all this, which is unusual. It wasn’t a great session? “Whatever, I’m happy.” And that’s nice. I realised that there’s something of a trade-off with great orgasms — the mind has to be focused on sensing greater feelings, which would seem free of implications, but in concentrating on where great orgasms start, one then gets anchored into a world of orgies. It can easily drop into an addiction like it has before the month hiatus with me. There’s a fine line in the balance of happiness with life, and happiness with orgasms. After all, straight-up masturbation can be done quickly and forgotten about; multiple-orgasms and Aneros require meditative thinking, which unfortunately can linger into other relaxing states. )At least that’s the case with me.(

Perhaps having broken away from orgasms and arousal for a month has cleaned the slate more than I bargained for, and Aneros sessions may take a bit of time to simmer back into. But I hope in doing so, I don’t allow arousal to control me and my state of content again.

The aim: good times that don't linger in my head…!

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Paraphimosis woes [Updated]

Break from the norm once again: this time it's a medical condition effecting the sea-monster. Maybe you heard of this, or phimosis?

If not: Phimosis is when the foreskin is tighter than it should be, making retraction quite difficult, and possibly painful. Resolving it is quite straightforward, with stretching exercises — and if subscribed, steroid cream to assist the process.

But what if one allows the foreskin to remain tightly retracted, and let hard-ons occur? Then there's risk of the condition's older brother: paraphimosis. This is when the skin is trapped under the head, and by extension blood. Trapped blood can eventually cause bloated swelling to form, ballooning part of the shaft under the head. The (flaccid) result is this:
http://www.tabletsmanual.com/img/wiki/paraphimosis_1.jpg

Gross. And it can potentially swell to much larger degrees. Luckily, mine is only by that much, pictured above. Saying this, when errection does occur, the is compressed into a ring, or 'mane' of sorts, around the head.

I've had paraphimosis for as long as I can remember. Back in high school, I wondered why my skin wouldn't fully retract, but that never got me into a rut. Trying to do so did hurt, though. Early college days, however, I finally decided to pull my skin all the way down and saw what was by then paraphimosis. I was ignorant to this, of course, and simply assumed this gross appearance was me doing something I shouldn't off - namely pulling the skin too far back.

But this leads me to another pointer: this condition hasn't caused me any genuine trouble. Sure, erections certainly are sore, but that's when the skin is forcibly retracted. Even then, THAT pain goes away with either some steroid cream or perseverance. This all struck me as odd when recently I read that paraphimosis is sometimes considered a medical emergency, and early symptoms of it has to be dealt with ASAP. Wow! Again, maybe that's because it could swell to alarming degrees. Lady luck, and all.

But never mind that, I do want to get this checked out and dealt with. Back in 2010, I learnt of tight foreskin and headed to the doctors. Steroid cream, did the trick. But phimosis came back, and I still had that tight mane under the head. Second trip in 2012, I brought up what was then the discovery of paraphimosis. I was given a shrug, and reassured it's simply phimosis I should worry about.

But not now. Now I know how my phimosis could be stopped for good, and I definitely do want some surgery done to fix this ugly condition. Thankfully by today, new medical techniques are around to treat it, so circumcision can be avoided. On top of returning my penis to pain-free erections, it'd more importantly prevent the risk of bursts or infections.

EDIT:
Poking around Google today, I stumbled upon the real nemesis: the phimotic ring; more generally known as a ridged band. This is where PART of the foreskin is tight compared to the rest, and leads to the tight band I mentioned above. It's all clicked together now. Paraphimosis was never an issue because I may not actually suffer from it after all — it's when the skin becomes trapped severely behind the head, and for me, it was never an issue to pull it back up — just a nuisance.

So for a month I'll try stretching the tight part of the skin. If that doesn't fix things, I'll try 'preprutioplasty' surgery - which is a limited dorsal slit )which itself is a limited circumcision(. I'm still uncertain, and I suspect the paraphimosis may be a edematous swelling in itself, rather than simply tight forskin. Regardless, the surgical treatment above would certainly resolve things.

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Abstaining session

Been over a week since the 6th May, my blog last entry. I talked about having a break to build excitement — and last night's session made a point of that.

Over this week I abstained from anything sexual, and looking at anything sexual for that matter. No porn, fetishes, masturbating, touching, none of that. This was simply to make the next session a week later feel great, but I preferred this clean break from it all. In fact, just the THOUGHT of something like Aneros or a pin-up girl churned my stomach, it felt gross! My mind and body clearly needed this break, what a great choice I made.

What also felt gross, as the details above show, was the session. I stay in the city every week for work, for a few days. The few nights I sleep at the apartment are quiet and spacious — perfect, compared to the cramped conditions of my regular habitat )including virtually no sound-proofing(.

So Saturday is when I head back, and there was a growing urge to give the Progasm a shot whilst having the chance. At the same time, my conscience waves its finger on how lousy that decision is. It was stereotypically a 'Devil vs. Angel' on the conclusion front.

At first, no — "Let's just go to bed and move on." Then I had the bright idea to peek at some porn. It all caved in from there.

Slipped in the Progasm, and with no surprise, the sphincter was in pain. Per usual, I set the timer on my phone to 25 mins — when the alarm goes off and I'm still in discomfort, it comes out and the session ends. Unfortunately )Or fortunately!( this is where it went. Stools and gas are a real nuisance with that model…

But what brief moments of pleasure I did get were some of the strongest and passionate ever. When people wonder if it is like being fucked…I guess so, yeah. Pleasure kept building, and nothing would stop it. The Progasm had a mind of its own, and it wanted to be best buddies with the prostate. That gland didn't 'ignite' or 'crack' like some describe it, but it was swelling and taking the stimulations like a bitch. Even writing this section felt incredibly gross, uergh…

But my prostate got a real working afterwards, as evident by the constant feeling of needing to pee — the most pronounced I ever felt, and surges of horny lust washing over me every half hour. Then came 2:00pm where I was half-asleep, enough that most of my body dozed off as well. Except for my brain still dancing with sexual excitement. I could feel pleasure suddenly build in my lower half, like an energy condensate. In my mind I was moaning and borderline shouting. What was going on!?

Then I felt like I ejaculated, fortunately it was just a Dry-O! Except it wasn't, not this time. I nervously slipped my hand under my pyjama and…yup, I felt goo all down the side of my leg. I didn't just jizz precum, I jizzed a LOT of it. Fucking great…

Fortunately since it's transparent liquid, it wasn't too hard to clean up but still needed to send some things in for emergency wash this morning.

It was admittedly a great session, and that precumming moment was incredibly powerful and surreal. But still, I broke my body's natural abstaining rule. Back to abstaining, this time sticking to it. If my body wants to back into sexual times, it'll let me know.

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The key is 'excitement'

)NOTE: This only really applies to experienced users - for those starting off, your perspective may be different(

New entry is certainly a random occurrence, given how dead on its feet my blog is…!

My usage on the device is sparse these days - and that's nice. Recently I've set myself this challenge of not doing )and refraining from thinking( anything sexual for at least a week. I made it to day five before horny thoughts intrude. Keeping busy helps a lot, of course. In fact, being stressful at times these past few years aided as well, in its own broken manner.

Too bad that on Sunday or Monday, the absentee is gone. Back to being on heat — and not particularly thrilled.

It could be that all this MMO and sexual nonsense has developed into an addiction, in a strikingly similar fashion to someone jerking off four times a day. It's beginning to feel this way, and I need to keep it in check!

On top of helping me feel all around happy and 'at ease', it recharges the battery. You know the one. It helps a lot, though! And it's logical why. The more we do or think of something, the more it 'numbs' - our body and mind adapt. It'd of course make sense that the more we think or use Aneros within a week or so, the less pronounced it works. Counter-initiative. And if you want to look at it in a universal sense, it's basically boredom.

So by taking a good break, excitement can build. The mind rearranges what is at the forefront, and everything at the back simmers down - we recalibrate what is the norm and what is unorthodox. This was actually standard affair back when I started my journey; I'd get fed up that the device never really works and carry on with my life. Then a few weeks later, curiosity perks and excitement builds.

Now i've mingled too much with orgasming and Aneros as a whole. There is no spark left.

Still, writing this, I feel an urge - a lust. I want waves of pleasure, and a sense of release, but now is not the time.


ON ANOTHER NOTE:
The mind sure can produce some strange, new thoughts when you abstain - have you noticed? Like today I get some BIZARRE sequence in a dream of a…
motion-graphics looking grid. Like the miscellaneous motion graphics on the huge screens behind DJs/gigs? That sort.
Except this was in form of an odd touch-screen games for smartphones/tablets. The screen was made of dark blue circles )Anal cavity?(, enclosed around the square perimeter by lighter blue circles. In the centre was a white circle - presumably the Aneros.

Yes, I also need to break my addiction to those stupid smartphone games.

Touching it could move it around, but the aim seemingly was to make everything else change colour to white. White, I suppose, was the colour of orgasm.
And the trick was to use slow, subtle, to-and-fro motion. Gently move the white near the perimeter. The space starts convulsing, and the white circle grows - the permitter itself starts to ease from blue to white. It builds and builds.

The whole )part of the( dream was wanting what I didn't allow.
It was excitement.

Had similar dreams before - not quite as focused on a specific style, but still vague and intriguing. )Such as geometric shapes fusing together into one( Two dreams before led to a huge wet patch the next morning.

All this taught me something important though. When using Aneros, my mind shouldn't jump to what makes me flat-out horny. It should focus on what gets my excited, and that in itself can be very subtle thoughts.

The things I learn...

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Life in the Endgame

That's that, I suppose. I've come as far as I'll get.
Super-O's don't seem all that amazing to me, but I'm still holding onto the possibility that these amazing orgies haven't truly occurred yet. Perhaps I haven't fully let myself go in sessions.

It's been mentioned before, but my 'depression' doesn't help with the Aneros, MMO as a whole. Or vice versa!

Even then, the session last night was great. I've had pretty strong build-up to it after the past few nights - and that time I just went for it. What a great time! The weird fluttering in my stomach was strong, and my prostate went nuts. I found a position that worked great was kneeling on the bed, with the body (and sometimes femur) being upright. The p-waves grow very strong in the abdomen and pelvis.

In fact, my abdomen aches somewhat from all the tensing it has been doing! Or it could be mattress and sleeping positions causing it. I still have sexual energy flowing around me and erections will occur on a hairpin.

Great session - though these days I'm still fairly irregular on Aneros usage. Will use it maybe once every four weeks - which is a change from using it for a week and then going off it for over a month. Again, the device feels like it stirs depression as well as arousal.

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Super-O: Kind of, sort of, maybe?

TL;DR:
* Continuos, building orgasm
* Arching back up non-stop
* Moaning is genuine now, and not 'acting'
* Rectal muscles & prostate pulsate upon possible orgasm - similar to Super-T
* First wet-dream
* Similar orgasm outside of sessions
* Still picky/reluctant to actually use Aneros

The decision was made: the next time I have a session, it would be with the Progasm and nothing else. It's too bad my sphincter muscles haven't been comfortable with it since this time last year (read: ring of fire) - though recently on one or two occasions, it settled in fine. So maybe I can take that chance?

That night I dived in, and tried it. Fortunately it wasn't producing searing pain, though still uncomfortable - more so than Progasm should be. After 15 minutes the stress on the sphincter calmed down.

And, oh boy.

Some entries with the Progasm brought up this feeling of huge, imposing orgasm. Like it felt far away, but still gigantic. Those were brief - but that evening, it was constant. That's not to say the distance had shrunk, mind you, but the Progasm's fullness was causing waves of imminent orgies to just surge non-stop.

I should note that these weren't necessarily pleasurable. There weren't tingles, rushes of adrenaline, or sweetness in the abdomen. It was just a truck ton of arousal and what felt like an incoming of a huge orgasm that never happens. But that's not bad! And actually, that's how orgasms have felt in general recently, anyway - pale, and numb. Maybe I'm so use to hands-feee orgasms by now that I've been desensitised? There isn't the "Holy crap, what is happening??" excitement.

It was still enjoyable, and got me really aroused. I was breathing and panting, my legs were twitching, my hips grinding. My abdomen was quivering with each exhale too.

And something new, too: When my arousal hit such a high, my abdomen tensed into a rock-solid state for the longest I've known. During this point, my ass did too. Then eventually, the Progasm was gently being pushed out - but gradually absorbed in. How to describe it? It's corny, but it felt like the prostate was accepting the Aneros - becoming one. As it sinked in, the prostate (and rectum) both engorged and softened up; like when the Jellyfish's body pushes water to propel forward, I suppose.

The whole event feels almost the same to ejaculating with the Aneros in - it's drawn into the glands, they soften up, and bam. So maybe I was right last year, the whole journey was about reaching that point of orgasm hands-free.

The session ended because gas was building. Anything like this is enough to warrant pulling it out. But was this a Super-O? Did I finally reach that far? Who knows. Again, it didn't feel like "OMG, THIS IS SO AMAZING!!" but it certainly felt strong.

In other news, I was up in London this past week - partly to visit my father. Getting away from my current abode did me great for stress relief! And these past few days, bursts of arousal were crazy. Today, after waking up from a siesta at 5:00pm, I had a crazy erection and felt super horny out of no where. Also, yesterday I hit an orgasm nearly as strong as the Progasm session. Damn!

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Chemistry of the Mind

TL;DR:
* Sensations specific to anus within first minute of insertion
* Most sensations weren't Aneros exclusive until later
* Faint Out-of-Body moment early in session
* Involuntary Tug-of-War generated pleasure in anus/PC muscles
* Frequent practice still needed on sensing Aneros

That Aneros itch. I don't know about you, but it's always a source of slight distress for me. Self-inflicted distress, that is. The backbone behind it all is the best time to use the massager, specifically:
1. If my mind is sound, and I am happy enough
2. When I, and everyone else, is in bed
3. I'm in the mood for Aneros

As you'd expect, all three are situational. Waiting for everyone to go to bed is awkward since they can be up as late as 2:00am - and my happiness dips in and out. Saying that, my happiness is spent too much on arousal which obviously needs to change. Happiness is not all about sex and orgies, unless you're a University fresher.

But regardless, I should stop scheduling my Aneros sessions so damn much. It's just not working - it builds up too much anticipation, therefor expectation, and induces stress for the right time and setup to fall into place. Quite often I postpone a session by a night because I happen to loose interest, or because one of the above three doesn't occur. Boiling all these points down: I should stop caring so much about what day and time to use the Aneros. No thought or mind should be placed in it until I feel like doing so. It doesn't HAVE to be at night, after all.

But even then, I've already 'scheduled' in my brain to definitely use it on Monday. What's the point? To be fair, I am afraid my arousal might die off soon - but it's not like my arousal HAS to be in on-and-off chunks. Generally, 24 hours off is my minimum before using Aneros again. Just need to stop making such a big deal out of it.

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Should Really Take a Break

Nothing says Super-O desperation like three devices in one session!

I'm really kind of fed up right now, and it's effecting my sessions and overall attitude towards Aneros. Graduated from university this summer and I'm in that sickening, sludgy void of being unemployed. Want to be out of it as soon as I can.

And then in terms of Aneros, now I have this weird tinge that I've been relying on it too much as a source of my happiness or joy. Those new sensations, however brief, were incredible and unforgettable. There's always that itch of needing more. And boy, it's really opened up my senses to MMO in general. Even outside of sessions I can have bouts of pleasure in the abdomen.

At this point however, there are two layers of reality that have finally surfaced: a. I'm bored of Aneros/MMO
b. I've forgotten all the progress I've made, and ignore all the great vibes.

With the latter's meaning, great pleasures before DO still happen often during session. These were pleasures that, when starting off on the journey, made me consider the session a huge success. Now, though, I think...I take them for granted.

Before I thought "amazing!" and now I think "Meh, okay"

Ouch. It's really a stinker reflecting on my outlook over this. Although nice, pleasure waves of that magnitude don't feel like enough. I want stronger than before! But that's unrealistic and unaccepting <sp> of everything I achieved.

That seems to be an issue with sessions I have. The second I get the Aneros out the box, I'm at least subconsciously rooting for huge success. I'm hoping for a Super-O, no matter how little. That sucks, it's not what I should be entering these sessions thinking. But I can't help that! At least right now.

So I should take a break. Before, these somewhat happened anyway from stress over projects. It'd be a natural cycle. Now I need to make this happen voluntarily, maybe doing no MMO for three months or so. As it stands, I want huge orgasms to take my away from reality - to take my mind off things and give it something to obsess over. No way. I want a real job, and to be independent. To put my time in University to some real use.

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