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Aneros Blogs > Backdoor Hammock (by vandelay)

In a Haze

It's been a while since I've blogged. I actually wrote a blog a week or two ago, but my Internet connection cut out and I lost the draft. I just didn't feel like rewriting it.

There haven't been any real big developments lately. Once in a while I still have a super-O or two, but sessions can be fine for me without them. I'm trying to dig deeper into different aspects of the experience. Specifically I'm trying to see if there's more to this haze I feel in my head when I have any type of Aneros inside or partially inside me. I can have a Peridise halfway in and already feel something starting in my head. The prostate isn't even being touched at this point.

It's a little like I have a head cold where my ears and equilibrium are affected. I'm not dizzy, but it sort of feels similar. I've tried getting lost in the sensation, but I don't seem to get too far. I can sort of separate myself from what is going on at the prostate, etc. The p-waves may come on their own or not, but I'm less actively part of the equation.

The biggest success I've had is using my mental focus when I'm beginning or in the middle of an orgasm. Focusing on the pleasure has really amplified it on a few occasions. Yesterday evening was probably the most intense sensation I've had during a super-O. Normally the duration of the pleasure is what makes a super-O so intense. Last night was probably the closest to having the sensation of a traditional orgasm during a super-O.

I wish I could just belt out the vocalizations when I experience the high points during my sessions. I live in a townhouse side by side with others and I'm pretty self-conscious about noise. Vocalizations are almost always part of my sessions, but I limit myself in volume. Sometimes I feel the urge to vocalize even before I feel the distinct sensation of an orgasm coming on. The vocalization seems to bring about the sensations, as if my subconscious knew what to do before I did. I'm going to have to find some way to experiment eventually with vocalizing more loudly to see what that does for me if anything.

One curious thing that happened today was that I felt my first mini-O while I was at work. I didn't dare let it go further as I was in an office environment, but no one else was positioned in a way to notice if I was expressing anything in my body language or from facial expressions. There were only a couple people in the area at the time anyway.

Today at work I felt pleasure directly from the anus just sitting at my desk. Actually I had a BM early in the afternoon and started feeling a little sensation just afterwards. That's how it started and it slowly progressed to a more general feeling of pleasure across my body after being back in the office for a little while. It was nothing overwhelming since I had the presence of mind to control the situation considering where I was. There were p-waves too, but it started lower than that. I think being in a more relaxed state at the time helped open the door.

My anus has been awakened much more than I would have expected. People talk about awakening the prostate and that's part of what I've experienced, but my anus is a gateway to my prostate in more ways than one. I almost always use a Peridise as a lead-in to the Helix or occasionally the Progasm Ice I recently purchased. As I mentioned, I get that haze in my head from having anything in me, but I also start to feel a little pleasure in my anus. The Peridise is a good way to increase my arousal without much effort. It makes the Helix more effective.

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Broke the Ceiling

I hadn't entirely given up on seeing where I could go without nipple stimulation, but it wasn't really on my mind this afternoon as I started a second session. The first was heavy on nipple stimulation and was very good as a result. I can't remember much else from it as it seems to have been mostly eclipsed in my mind by the session this entry is about. I do know that I got my penis involved which isn't the norm for me.

I started off this session relaxed with my legs slightly spread and bent with a cover over me and my butt resting on a pillow to get a slight elevation for handle clearance; a pretty typical setup. There was already the vague sense of pleasure I get from having one of the Aneroses inside. I felt something slightly extra, though, as I lay there relaxed. It was a more tangible pleasure from the Helix against my prostate. Maybe it helped that I had already had a session. Maybe things were still sensitive from that. Not sure.

I soon found that just focusing on this pleasure caused it to grow. I couldn't perceive any physical action from PC muscles. I wasn't trying to initiate anything. The pleasure was just happening by my thoughts. It grew and grew and grew until I was in the throes of what I had hoped to experience: a hands free Super O without even using my nipples. I was on cloud 9 and stayed there for close to an hour.

Things had finally come together. I feel like a load of sexual repression has been slowly lifted off my shoulders over the past 5 weeks or so. It culminated this afternoon as I broke though this barrier into a new part of the journey. The sensitivity has grown. The muscle control has come into focus. The awareness of the sensations from my body has heightened. The relaxation has been there nearly from the start and I've continued to rely on it. The rewiring continues even now.

There were a couple new things I picked up on during this Super O. Not only could my focus help bring about the p-waves, but a conscious relaxing of the muscles down there really aided things too. I'm guessing it was the PC muscles. In any case it was more a matter of hijacking the tendency to clench when the pleasure got to a certain point. Normally I can have an involuntary muscle contraction that feels like I'm starting to double over for a brief secon. This wasn't happening at least early on in the Super O. I had developed enough muscle/mental control to keep things relaxed to sustain the pleasure for huge amounts of time without refueling the fire with my nipples. I eventually used the nipples after I had dropped from the first Super O and it felt great as usual, but I could take it or leave it at point. I didn't have a care in the world.

I also tried initiating some movement of the Helix during the Super O and that worked out pretty well too. A side to side movement of the Helix ramped things up for a while from an already euphoric state. My prostate thanked me for that one.

I probably produced more precum from this than I ever have, but it still wasn't a large amount. That's just not how things work for me. I decided to try and have a T-gasm after I'd had my fill. It took a little soft porn to "get things switched back over" for it, but it was pretty good too. It's not always easy for me to cum with the Helix in. I haven't quite figured out what makes it easier one time and not at others. I suspect that if the p-waves are going on strong enough, it makes it harder to reach a T-gasm. It's just a curiosity at this point.

The journey continues.

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Trying to Lose Control

I had already started trying to use less nipple stimulation in my sessions and wanted to discover a new aspect to Aneros pleasure. I don't know to what extent different men use their nipples in conjunction with the Aneros. I may be on one end of the spectrum in how I have tended to rely on my nipples to build up and sustain a Super O. I sometimes sneak a quick nipple rub in at work or while driving to feel a little pleasure on the side. It doesn't take very long and it has grown in intensity from where I started.

I've held off longer or not even used my nipples at all a few times in the last few sessions. I can't say my dry O's are as strong or that I've reached an all out Super O, but it's definitely a different experience. The first time I reached a hands and nipples free dry O a few days ago I was left alternating between moaning and laughing. I was having sustained muscle movements from the Aneros for the first time and it was driving the orgasm. I actually had the Peridise in for this session and it turns out that I was laying on my side which is not common for me. I'm usually on my back.

I definitely want to see where things go with getting more automatic response going from the Aneros. My experience so far has been that I have a much more full body experience without the nipples in play. Using the Aneros with nipple stimulation is a step removed from traditional penis stimulation, and taking the nipples out of the equation seems to be one more step away from localization.

Whenever I've put the Helix or Peridise in I get a sudden but somewhat vague sense of pleasure. This has been the case for a while. There's a certain "haze" that forms in my mind along with a vague sense of pleasure in my pelvis area. The day at work before the evening where I had my first nipples-free dry O, this haze took over me for the last few hours of work as I sat at my desk. I had nothing in as I was at work. I just reached a pleasurable state from my body and mind.

The buildup to a mini-O or dry-O takes longer without the nipples. Like I said it seems more body wide. This is not just in the orgasm, but the buildup. There's only short times of localized sensation from p-waves or in my penis. The haze in my head that I talked about is really strong during the buildup. I have to try not to "do something" about it when I find myself in this haze. I just sort of "swim in it" and ride it where it goes. During this morning's session I thought of a decent analogy for what was going on. It was sort of like mixing color into a paint can. I was getting "swirled up" in the "paint" of my mind.

I've always relished the times when relaxation takes hold from my Aneros use. I think the title of my blog fits this mindset well. This body-wide reaction I've felt when not using my nipples has strengthened the relaxation feelings I've had. It seems sort of paradoxical to say, though. I'll just have to see how far into this paradox I can go.

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Letting Go

This morning I didn't have the luxury of time like I have had during previous weekends. I had to be on the road to visit my parents by late morning. Still, it was a fantastic session. I have been trying out the unrefined shea butter the last two days. So far the results are good. I'll have to see about leaving the Peridise in all night with it now. I unintentionally left it in overnight earlier in the week with no trouble, but I'd rather not take a chance with the water base lube.

I started off this morning with the Peridise as usual and held off touching my nipples for longer. I'd like to see what I can achieve with less nipple involvement. I'll have to see how things progress in the future. Things still felt pretty good in the limited time I had. I had a mini-O or two before getting the nipples involved.

I've found that I can't easily get into a more meditative state anymore. Things too easily progress to a more powerful state and there seems to be no need at this point. I'll keep it in the back of my head if I run into trouble in the future, but I sort of miss the more relaxing times I've had. I don't miss it nearly enough to trump the super-O's, though.

Both sessions I've had with the shea butter have been very powerful in that I have very pronounced involuntary movements at times. I don't know if I would have progressed anyway or if the new lube made a difference. During both sessions I had several instances of trying to reach for the sky with my arms and legs. This was sometimes coupled with twisting my legs together. That squeezing of my legs together added a little pleasure in and of itself.

A couple times I held back enough as the pleasure grew that I got some wild flailing going when the release happened. The spike doesn't last long, but I can do it in the middle of a super-O without interrupting anything. I want to continue to experiment with trying to forestall the release or control the rate of buildup to see what differences there end up being. I want to find ways to keep this interesting.

The biggest discovery I made started earlier in the week outside of a session. I've found it easier to bring myself to a mini-O through no manual stimulation of my nipples and no Aneros inserted. I'm not exactly sure what muscles I'm using, but I can reliably produce pleasure from the relaxation of what I think are the muscles for my sphincter. I just don't know for sure because it seems so subtle in muscle movement as opposed to amount the pleasure it eventually creates.

It doesn't feel the same as the p-waves I've had and it sort of creeps up on me. It's there and it steadily grows if I maintain this relaxation. Eventually I'll have to close my eyes and my eyelids will start to flutter. It's not as localized a sensation either. It's more full body pleasure even though very initially I'll notice it near my anus. It may emanate a little toward the back rather than toward the perineum too. Regular p-waves can have a full body effect, but I still notice the localized concentration in the pelvis.

Using this relaxation technique with the Aneros, and specifically with the Peridise, produces an interesting effect. Without fail my sphincter will try to clench within a few seconds of relaxing and keep doing this every once in a while. It's sort of trippy, I don't know why. There's a tug of war going on, perhaps. Eventually when the pleasure starts to grow I'll hold this relaxation without the involuntary clenching recurring. I can get a mini-O with or without the Aneros, but it's usually stronger with the Peridise. The Helix seems to get in the way of this a little with the stimulation to the prostate going on already. I'll have to keep exploring this relaxation.

One new experience I had during the meat of the session was with feeling like I was being auto-f**ked. I'm guessing what I experienced was the same phenomenon other people call this. Maybe what I had already experienced with super-O's was already this and today just took it up a level. Anyway, during the super-O today I got to a point where my arms and legs were partially spread out as I lie there in the throes of pleasure. I was at a point where there was no need for me stimulate my nipples to keep the fire stoked. I felt pinned to the bed. All I could do )or needed to do( was take in the pleasure. I've sort of felt this "pinning" before, but it wasn't coupled with an entirely self sustained pleasure. A similar feeling took hold a couple other times, but in a different way. I had involuntary pelvis thrusting going on and it seemed like my body was having its way with me.

I don't know how long this super-O lasted but I wouldn't have been surprised if it were longer than 30 minutes. Maybe not much longer, but it was a marathon for me. I'll tell you one thing. It was a very relaxing 2 1/2 hour drive to my parents' place after getting cleaned up. Water can't wash away the afterglow.

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Saturated

Things keep getting better. I had held off a day on using the Helix because of a little soreness. I was rewarded for my patience today. I got warmed up with the larger Peridise as I've been accustomed to lately. It was a little longer warmup than usual. I didn't have any dry O's; I just closed my eyes and felt a humming in my head as I occasionally added a little PC or anal movement at times. The humming had started almost as soon as I did. This lasted for half an hour or so.

After a while I needed a break to have a BM. I wanted to wait until I got that out of the way and cleaned up to switch to the Helix. I took my time in getting back to the session even then.

Once inside, the Helix had an immediate effect. I didn't have contractions or anything, but I felt a general wave of pleasure rise through my body as I got situated in bed. It was a good sign.

I've been keeping a T-shirt on during sessions so that I don't chafe my nipples and it has a side effect of limiting the amount of sensation my fingers can give my nipples. I think this is a good thing as it slows the progression a little and lets things happen more on their own.

I let things build for a while before touching my nipples. There was a nice feeling of pleasure like the wave I felt as I got in bed. I wasn't trying to do too much with contractions at this point either. A small amount was keeping things where I wanted them. The pleasure grew somewhat before I finally got to the nipples.

It took very little time with the nipples to get a real good p-wave going. The preparation was starting to pay off. I don't know how long it took to reach a Super O, but it wasn't as long as normal. I didn't even have merely a dry O before it like I've usually done. This *first* one lasted perhaps 5 minutes or less. There were the usual vocalizations and not much in the way of involuntary movement. I think at some point I felt a little extra warmth "downstairs", but that didn't lead to anything different. This wouldn't have been a bad session if a 5 minute Super O was all I had, but there was more.

After a short dip in the sensation where I relaxed and took in what just happened I worked back up to another Super O )or did *it work *me*?(. This one lasted as much as 15 minutes, I believe my longest yet. I couldn't get enough of it. I had more of a thirst to see how far this could go. It still meant not forcing things, but I wasn't going to be satisfied with only 5 minutes today. The only active method I had to keeping it going was to relax my PC muscles if I felt I was starting to over tighten on my own. I was having a little bit in the way of involuntary movement but not like when I had my first few Super O's.

I looked at my alarm clock to get a gauge of when this stopped. I was getting curious about how long this had lasted. I had looked at in that short gap between the first 2 O's, and guessed how long things went on. I haven't really tried to track my time before except to get a rough estimate of the entire sessions, but I felt something special was going on this time.

The third )and final( Super O blew me away. There was an even shorter gap between the 2nd and 3rd O's. I was still in a groove. Throughout this all I don't know that I noticed the movement of the Aneros or what particular contractions might be going on all that much. They seemed subtle by the standards of what I'd experienced so far. Subtle was plenty for my body this time.

I couldn't to let go of the pleasure this time. At times it would grow and grow. At others it just stayed there as I engaged it in waves. I was writhing around a lot this time. I was also extending my legs straight out toward the ceiling with my arms at times to try and find some sort of outlet for the continued. The most memorable moment was went I arched my back to raise my belly and pelvis toward the ceiling. I was supporting myself with my arms and feet trying to release a huge surge of pleasure in my pelvis. It was the strongest continued orgasmic wave I've felt with the Aneros. It stayed strong as I got my pelvis as far up as I could manage. I'm shaking here just writing and thinking about it.

On and on and on it went. I would back off a little. The pleasure would continue and let me right back in when I felt I could engage again. It was there even when I couldn't tell it was there. Pleasure was the new norm for a short while. I thought I might drop out of the orgasm by relaxing a little at times to recover from the previous wave, but it was still there to greet me when I was ready. My god, I'm in awe right now! How could this have happened to me? I thought something along these lines during the throes of this last Super O. I was verbalizing asking "Why, why, why?" at times.

Over 25 minutes it took. Twenty-five f**king awesome minutes. No need for a T this time. Thank you sir, I've had all I could ask for and more already. You can leave the check.

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Dark Side of the Moon

No, I'm not trying to speak euphemistically with the title of this entry. I *really* am talking about the Pink Floyd album from 1973. It's one of my favorites and I currently have it in the alarm clock/cd player by my bed. I play the first few minutes as an initial alarm setting then have the beeper turn on 15 or 20 minutes into it to give me a chance at a gradual wakeup.

I tried one time to play music on this alarm clock during a session, but something unexpected was an obstacle for me. It wasn't that the music or words themselves were a distraction. It was the lack of words or music at times. Here's what I mean: I started to lapse consciously because of the effect from pleasure on my mind. I started hearing gaps in the words and music that I knew so well )I'm still talking about Dark Side of the Moon btw(. I'm used to the music fitting like an old glove and knowing what to expect at each turn. Now my focus was being pulled toward this deviations from the norm. I just decided to turn off the music to stay focused on the session.

The last couple mornings have been new experiences for me. I actually woke up before my alarm yesterday with a "morning wood" and had a nice mini O / dry O. It only seemed natural. Today I set my alarm a little later because it was a Saturday and still didn't get up until the alarm went off. "Get up" isn't really accurate though. I spent most of the morning in bed "exploring".

I started off this morning with another erection as I awoke and then worked up to a pretty nice dry O still in my clothes. After a while I tried to give Dark Side of the Moon another try and listened for a while, but it was still sort of a distraction. There wasn't as much in the way of gaps/lapses since I didn't have my MGX or Helix in to get my mind churning. It was just background noise this time for the most part.

There weren't any really big highlights from this session. I only used the larger of the 2 Peridises if I had anything in at all. It was just a light pleasure Saturday morning with nothing to do. A few dry O's sprinkled in for good measure.

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Mental trampolines and smoke rings in my mind

)Warning: the first part of this is sort of dry. The last three paragraphs are the ones things get deeper and more interesting.(

I've had two sessions since I got my first additions to my Aneros collection. I've used both in the same pattern as it turns out. I got the two set of Peridise and have used the larger one to begin and end each session. I've used the Helix in the middle. The results have been astounding.

I think the Peridise works well for me in warming things up without going over the top, then returning to it when it's real easier for me to get pleasure from more subtle stimulation.

The Helix feels a little different than my MGX. There's pressure in slightly different spots. I can't tell if anything is particularly different when I'm in the heat dry O's and super O's. It's certainly not keeping me from enjoying myself that's for sure.

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised from the start at the subtle feeling of pleasure when putting the Peridise in. I move things around inside for a while, but don't quite make it to dry O's during the initial use.

Things get more interesting when I start in on the Helix. The first night I eventually got what was up to that point the most overwhelming super O's I'd had. I would have involuntaries and writhe around more as the things would go on. They'd last a minute or three. I was spent by the time I was done. That was a first. Usually things just die down, but this time I'd had my fill and then some. Putting the Peridise back in at the end was icing on the cake. I was still getting dry O's with it in and I finished with a very satisfying T.

Tonight started much the same. A decent warmup with the Peridise, but I actually got a dry O or two by the end this time. It was a sign of what was to come.

It didn't take very long into the Helix portion of the session to begin getting a super O. I don't know how long things went on, but I had a series of the strongest super O's I'd had yet. I imagine one of them lasted over 5 minutes, a first for me. The sensations just wouldn't go away. There were brief dips in the pleasure, but it was there the whole time.

The tone of the session changed when I finally started to feel like I needed a break. I like to explore during my sessions to see what strange and new sensations I can experience. This time it was like I was searching around in my mind amidst the aftershocks from the tumultuous Helix session so far. I began to relax and stay very still. Eventually I got caught up in waves that seemed to envelop most of my body and my mind. I could feel a slow pulse in the midsection of my body. I can't say it was pleasure as much as contentment that I felt. It was very strange and very satisfying.

As the sensation would pass through my head on its way seemingly out of my body it was like a smoke ring was encompassing my mind as it exited. At some point my mental focus got caught up in a pulse from my midsection and it seemed to amplify. After this happened a couple more times I was on my way to another dry O; a dry O with no external physical motion from me, not even any conscious effort to contract my PC muscles or anus. It was one of those "this is beautiful" moments. I was enveloped in pleasure merely from my mind. I caught a pulse and trampolined to orgasm.

I'm not a spiritual man, at least not anymore. I haven't investigated yoga to see what it's all about either, but it has me more curious with what I experiences tonight and what little I've read. The human mind is such a wonderfully complicated thing. It really fascinates me and tonight's experience just reinforces that. There are certainly ways to tap into uncharted areas of one's mind and Aneros has definitely helped me start in on a hugely exciting path. Onward...

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Beyond Expectations

I hadn't been blogging about recent events. Things had progressed real well in the past week. I had my first experience with Super O's only 8 days into my journey. One probably lasted 3 minutes. I was overcome with pleasure and whimpering "Oh my god" over and over. It wasn't quite like what I had in mind. It's easy to say you'll put expectations aside, but it's hard to actually prevent any kind of images in that will form an idea of what will happen. There wasn't a sudden transition like with a traditional orgasm. The ebb and flow of sensation in my pelvis grew over time. It was almost imperceptible the way it grew and took over in the end. In retrospect it really had a lot to do with relaxing, exploring and letting go when my body got to a state that things could start to cascade.

Anyway, as for this evening I had my first session since my breakthrough Super O session on Sunday. My anus has been more sensitive lately. That has been a surprise. At times I've felt P-waves and then tingling from my anus.

I had hopes of having more Super O's, but I was able to continue focus on being relaxed and not trying to do too much. A couple times when the P-waves would start to ramp up I'd take a step back in my mind and take in what I was feeling without actively urging it on with nipple stimulation or any added anal/PC contractions. Things still progressed faster than in any session before. The P-waves were more "gritty", more tangible than in previous sessions.

About an hour in I had already had a couple strong dry O's, maybe bordering on my Super O experiences two days earlier. I find that I need to readjust the p-tab occasional to keep it in place. At this point an hour in I made an adjustment and it hit the spot unlike what I had felt before. A wave surged from my perineum through my prostate and through my penis. That was pretty solid evidence that the p-tab is in the right spot when it's centered. That surge sparked the beginnings of my strongest, longest Super O to date. I felt more sensation that normal in my upper pelvis area. I tried to keep the muscles around there flexed while I kept the rest of my body relaxed. It wasn't going to stay relaxed for long, though.

I hit upon this visualization when I'm close to a dry O. I keep my eyes closed and the room is very dark anyway, but I act as if I'm looking out into the distance as if the ceiling isn't there and I had something to look at if my eyes were open. It seems to drop the last obstacle to keeping me trying to control the situation. I get a little detached and the body can go where it wants.

I started to have a Super O. I was vocalizing a lot, whimpering having been caught up in gradual wash of pleasure. I had some involuntary jerking of my pelvis and legs and times, but it didn't stop there this time. The wave kept going long enough. I played around a little with what little I could control what was happening. I let it back off a couple times to take in what I was feeling. Then I sort of concentrated on not letting involuntary movement take hold quite yet. Things grew and when I finally let loose one thing led to another. After my legs and pelvis were in involuntary contractions for a while that wasn't enough. I started to writhe and roll about the bed as my body looked for any and all outlets to express this new found pleasure. Every pelvic thrust was heavenly. There wasn't any backing down for a while.

The particulars don't seem all that important after this point in the session. I had found a new peak on the trail and now I'm just in awe and taking it in.

I don't know what I did to be able to have so much success in such a short amount of time. I think I have a good outlook on things. I feel more in tune with myself and my sessions are some of the most relaxing times of my week )when I'm not flailing around involuntarily and all(. When I finally took the MGX out at the end of the session it was the easiest it had ever come out. I think I was just that relaxed after the dust had settled.

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Silly Me

So I thought I could just type out a blog entry about my sexual experiences and share it with untold strangers on the Internet without my newly awakened prostate taking notice. I thought I was about to go to bed, but other forces were at work with their own agenda.

I had started swaying side to side as I sat and typed that first blog entry at my computer desk. The swaying got more pleasurable and relaxing by the time I was finishing. I was smiling, laughing a little as I realized the pleasure. It continued to build. Light tingling started to encompass more of my body as I sat there. I leaned back further and extended my legs as I was starting to go on auto-pilot, letting the sensations build. I started to realize I couldn't just sit here so I made it to bed, but there was no rest for me there. Nervous energy continued to dominate my body.

I was still dressed in the clothes I intended to go to bed in on a cold winter's night. That didn't stop my body having it's needs met. It didn't care if something was in contact with it's penis or not. It was calling the shots.

I hadn't had many involuntary movements during the session that preceded this. That was about to change. I stimulated my nipples periodically as I lay flat on my bed. I let the nervous energy move my legs and pelvis however it willed. The sexual energy I was feeling pretty much continued for the entire hour and a half session. I rode it as far as it wanted. Twitching around at times, pelvis making occasional thrusts forward; scrunched up in a fetal position to see how that felt; sometimes just lying there hugging myself and crossing my legs at the ankles. It was heavenly.

It seemed that my body just wouldn't stop producing pleasure from the muscle contractions I would initiate in my pelvic area. I've never had such sustained raw sexual pleasure in my life. I can't wait for the rest of the journey. I'll get some sleep one of the these days.

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A little R and R

This post will have good portions of sessions and activities before this evening, but I think some of it will be helpful for others just starting out.
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This has been an amazing three days after getting my first Aneros. I had already been reading up on the experiences of various users and going over the excellent insights from B Mayfield's threads. Relaxation was definitely one of the main focuses I picked up on; letting it happen; letting your body lead the way )to paraphrase(. I had in the back of my mind the thoughts of a Super O and if I might be so lucky to achieve it early on. I tried to not let those thoughts take over, though. I did what I could leading up to the arrival of the Aneros to practice breathing, general relaxation and explore the muscle movements around the rectal area. In retrospect this really helped me keep my wits and stay focused. It would get me to a sort of exploratory state of mind once I got going.

I had a couple short sessions on Saturday after the Aneros arrived where I got a little better idea of what worked and what didn't. It was successful enough in feeling new sensations that I didn't get discouraged at all with any expectations. I think I was still led by my thinking of traditional orgasms and expecting something like that even though I figured from forum threads that it really wouldn't be like that. I had a couple involuntary thrusts of pleasure with a sense that my sphincter was being pulled in a the same time. They didn't really last all that long and I'm pretty sure the P-tab didn't stay aligned for a good portion of the session. But it did lead me to do more searching on the forum and get a better understanding of the sweet spot and how to keep the P-tab there. Also of note was that I didn't even feel the need to have a T orgasm afterwards. I felt pretty satisfied from my initial efforts.

The second day was another small step forward then a bigger step but in a subtle way )if that makes any sense(. Anyway, I got a session in during the morning before the Super Bowl. I was doing more with seeing what bigger and smaller motions with the muscles would do. I was still working on the breathing and seeing benefits from sensations as my abdomen moved in and out with the deep breaths. I had more sensation in general and things seems to be progressing. I did have a T orgasm after this session to see what it would feel like. Definitely more sudden in the release; more pleasure, but also more work to get there. I pretty much expected this and it was a nice finish.

Session #2 on day two was after I'd had my fill of the a lackluster Super Bowl by the middle of the third quarter. I think I was hoping for more action and sensation from this session, but something different and valuable nonetheless happened. I probably shouldn't have expected much from a second session on just my second day. Not much was rising to the surface pleasure-wise. One unique sensation my have been something along the lines of the "butterflies" people on the forum reported feeling in their lower abdomen. I had experiences this too along with p-waves washing their way up that direction. What I felt this time was a low rumble in the same area of the lower abdomen. There was a little bit of detectable tingling from p-waves once in a while, but rumble continued for a few minutes. At this point I was mainly doing breathing to just see what would happen. At some point I had partially rolled up the towel I had under me to elevate my butt to make sure the handle from the Aneros wasn't touching anything. After a while of breathing, having my butt slightly off the bed and my legs mainly straight out with a slight bend I felt a gentle sway take over. Instead of stimulating my nipples with my hands I had let me arms drop to each side of me as lay anchor on this peaceful virtual "hammock" that had been created from my actions )or maybe lack of actions(. It was incredible. There weren't any p-waves or rumbling in my abdomen at this point; just a gentle sway as I was as relaxed as I could remember being in recent years. Just thinking and writing about this has my body swaying as I sit here. I don't know how long I just relaxed there, but there wasn't much else to this session.

Responsibilities kept me from starting a session on day 3 until after 9 pm. It was worth the wait though. I didn't have great expectations for this session as I had waited so late, but I thought that if I got some good relaxation out of it that it would be a win either way.

This time I made a pretty good step forward. I had the breathing down good and started out with the towel partially rolled up under my butt like I ended last night's session. The P-tab held in place real good this time. I think I was bending my legs too much in earlier sessions and making the perineum tend to move the tab aside if I wasn't careful. I spent more time with my legs bent less than before. That created enough pressure on the prostate within for when things started "heating up".

In the process of things building up I turned the session into a little game in my mind. I already had the mindset of letting things happen. I just wanted to continue experiencing new things if I could. The game was that I was sort of teasing myself; as if the source of the pleasure were some other entity within me. )In retrospect I recall a sort of anthropomorphism of one's body in different posts. This game seems like a natural extension of that thought process.( At times I would refrain from stimulating my nipples when I normally would as if to tease "myself". I would give a quick glancing touch of one or both nipples then pull away again. I'm pretty sure I had a silly grin on my face as I did this.

I tried different muscle contractions in the rectal area as the session went on. Some seemed to continue a little or their on, others not so much. One interesting one I call the cement mixer. I think the name gets the general idea across. This one kept going for a while each time I did it.

Somewhere along the way things escalated beyond where I had been before. There were more sustained p-waves. Every time my penis would get involved in the wave I knew something new and different was on the way. This anticipation while still letting things happen with only my general guiding of muscle contractions and nipple stimulation took hold and sent me into a blissful state for several minutes. No strong contractions or thrusts. No wild muscle movement. Just sustainable bliss in recurring waves with my subtle actions and movements getting in sync with my unconscious body. I didn't push things I just sustained the process as long as it felt right. I had a nice T orgasm afterward and called it a session.

And to top things off I sit here typing over an hour the session ended having started to sway since the point that I originally wrote about my swaying "hammock". What a peaceful place to be in. My muscles are quivering as I get another slight piece of bliss as the day comes ... to ... an ... end ... laughing.

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