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Aneros Blogs > AneRico Blog (by AneRico)

"Mind the Gap"

Mind the Gap - 31 May 2014

Between what you know, what you believe, and what 'is' there can be a gap.

The gap is huge here in AnerosVille. It has to do with psychic energy.

Don't talk about it. Don't acknowledge it.

Some guy shows up on the forums who is emotionally freaking out and we have no answers for him. Taboo subject here. Move along...nothing to see.

I think it was BMayfield who coined the term "Tantric Training Wheels" for the Aneros.

...oh really.....

And we gloss over what "tantric" actually implies and think only of extended orgasms.

Big Mistake.

Most guys don't even register that things are going on under the surface...within their psyche...their energy centers....things that are changing them from the inside out. Some guys do register it and are comfortable, some simply go directly to Freak Out mode. WTF is happening to me?? Somebody please help me!!

The Gap.

Belief systems crashing into physical manifestations.

There's a saying I love: "The mystic swims in that which the psychotic is drowning"

I'm not an expert, I'm not a trained mental health care professional. What I am, is experienced in some few mystical practices. Which is to say that, I spend at least some of my time walking in the gap.

I'm frustrated by the lack of understanding here. I'm ready to create my own website addressing these issues so I only have to type this kind of advice out once, then just point a link to it. "here, this may help you...no one will talk about it here..." That kind of thing.

The gap has bit me...and more than once. The outcome...the transformation...is always positive. But it Fuccking SUCKS being in the gap, especially when you don't know what you're in. If you know...if you acknowledge...there are at least tools that will ease your suffering and get you through faster.

If all this sounds like bullshit to you, so far, then thanks for hearing me out and be well.

If you're interested in more information here are some thoughts:

"Spiritual Emergency: When Personal Transformation Becomes a Crisis" by Stanislav Grof

spiritualemergence.net

or just Google "spiritual emergence" or "spiritual emergency".

We benefit so much from Aneros. But it can be a "tiger by the tail" too.

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A Session

8:34am Sunday 25 May

It occurred to me to do a -less session, cold. and describe it.

I'm sitting at my computer desk, feet propped up.

since I've been thinking of this, I'm somewhat "warmed up" in that I feel the tingles and pulses a little bit.

8:36 relaxing, focusing on prostate. warm buzz in my heart, anal muscles gently doing slow pulsing, energy tingles thru legs, feet, arms hands, fingertips as I type.

:37 closed eyes for a bit....relaxing pelvic muscles more...feelings intensify, i notice tense shoulders and relax them. eyes open to type and the feelings all recede.

39 stronger P-Waves....but typing again kills it

40 prostate giving pleasure and the feelings radiate

43...at :40 I opened an image of a nude woman. feelings inside exploded. hand went naturally to nipple, intense orgasmic pleasure from prostate filling my whole body, intense energy throughout, my eyes involuntarily close, by head tilts back, mouth opens in silent cry. I'm gasping because I'm forgetting to breathe smoothly. the orgasm begins to pump, my anal muscles pump in time with it and my heart begins to feel full and pumping in time as well.

The sensations are so intense I can barely stand them, so I try to stay in them...relax into them.OMG it is so hard to relax and breathe...I want to scream, my hands are a little shaky as they now rest on my keyboard. again when I pause to type a sentence or two the sensations subside to a low, tolerable level.

:48 ok, one more look at a nude.

:54 wrap-up: soon as I looked at that nude my prostate and anus began pumping low, slow, and hard. my chest tightened and it felt like I couldn't breathe. my heart surged with emotion, face grimmacing, eyes slammed shut, small bit of tears produced. Sensations were so intense I felt like I was lit up like a searchlight. my arms and hands trembled; legs just trembled a tiny bit. The orgasmic feeling surged so hard in me it was nearly unbearable. I just let it go on and on. inner convulsing, pulsating joy and excruciating pleasure. I was filled with bliss.

Now as I type I feel bliss, my chest is still a bit tight so I breathe deeper now to relax it. little shots of pleasure still eminate from prostate and anus. Upper thighs feel the inner tingling but this typing again kills most of the sensations.

:59 ok that was 25 minutes? felt shorter. ok, anyway...I intentionally stopped the orgasms but they are lurking here right under the surface. Now that I have opened them up they'll be right there , waiting, pressing me, the entire day )unless I'm absorbed in a task(. God that was lovely. But now I have to take deep gentle, regular breaths to keep the orgasms at bay.

So, that's a look into how my experience can be. It was a "cold start" report. Just wanted to give you a Boots On The Ground report.

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Back To Tantra Practice

The intensity of the Kundalini energy produced by my daily SuperO's is mind boggling, and I need to get it under control.

Tantra practice, for me, is the best way to do that. So I'm returning to the Tantra teachings that I took a course in years ago. I'm back in contact with a teacher as well as a local 'mentor'.

Back in November, unrealized by me, my heart chakra blew open wide. After that happened I fell in love with someone I should never have let into my heart. Breaking it off was devastating for me and made me realize that I need better personal skills to deal with a number of personal issues I'd let go on too long.

It has also made me realize that Tantra is the way for me to continue to have this Kundalini awaken in a manner that is comfortable and manageable.

I know we all have our definitions of tantra, kundalini, etc. I also know there are members here who reel at the suggestion of these ideas.

THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM. IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM.

Hopefully I will keep this blog active with updates about the Tantric practice and how I am adapting to the massive kundalini production.

if you are curious about what version of Tantra I am practicing you can find their website here:

http://www.ipsalutantra.org

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I'm Over Aneros Girl

One too many hints she needed money for this and for that. One too many outright requests for money.

So I emailed the guy who introduced me to her. Guess what? He'd been talking marriage with AG for the past 8 or 10 months. He's my friend but I didn't know that part. We both realized she was using him...and using me.

I'm not through with her. Not yet, anyway. But I'm over being romantically infatuated with her.

My friend was pretty devastated by the discovery of her tricks. I didn't like being the one to tell him, but we talked it through and I gave him all the details, including proof of lies, and he realized he'd been duped too.

So, time to move on to the discovery of the Next Wonderful Prostitute Who I Cannot Possibly Live Without.

kids, I don't think I'm cut out for this stuff. But I need the affordable, passionate sex. Spiritual growth does not necessarily preclude this activity, but I sure am seeing the disparity between what my heart seeks and what my dick gets.

Thank god Tantra embraces love and lust and engagement of the senses.

....ok, time to find a new piece of ass......

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Sexy Dream Last Night

She came over and sat next to me.

"Do you always forget to touch your nipples during sex?", she chided.

I looked at her. Oh hell, she's throwing me a huge hint.

and with that she was atop me. Bare. My hands working her magnificant nipples.

Her face dropped to mine and her mouth covered my mouth with elegant deep but not forced kisses.

She said lovely things to me between kisses. Then the dream shifted away.

Nice to meet you, Baby.

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I Miss Aneros Girl

I was supposed to be with her all this week. I cancelled. Its complicated.

A friend recently said to me, kindly, " I don't pretend to understand your relationship with AG".

Kids, I don't pretend to understand it either.

She is a prostitute )in a country where it is legal(, an adept with Aneros or manual prostate massage, a mystic, and a kindred spirit. She fuccks like a tiger, and I fucck her back like a tiger; even among prostitutes this is rare for me.

I spent a weekend with her at her home recently. Met her two boys. Met several friends of hers. We had a blast. We made love in ways that were so tender and intimate...I simply cannot express to you how it was so different from the usual prostitute experience, it was way off the charts from that. And yet, that could just be the 'technique' she uses when she sees that a guy is hooked.

The terrible truth about sex with prostitutes is that then entire thing is based on lies and deception. My experience with prostitutes has taught me to be so cynical that, even if AG is the 14 Carat Gold Cast Genuine Article, I don't believe anything that comes out of her mouth...ever. And on some levels, that just stinks to high hell. And I hate it about myself....that I know this and am this person. But it's self-preservation.

Still....I'm so blind to the realities of this. I'm quite infatuated...a dangerous condition.

So I'm 'distancing' myself from her. I am working to suppress the feelings of love and wanting to be with her more.

The Aneros journey has awakened me to my flaws. I realize now, more than ever, how needful of romantic love I am. My wife does not provide that for me. Thank god she agreed to an 'open marriage'. But that agreement doesn't suddenly fix my flaws..it exacerbates them, brings them straight to light.

Anxiety and incompleteness. I'm much better along towards healing myself of Anxiety Disorder )THANK YOU to the guys who have posted here in the past...I found encouragement and links to resources(. I'm progressing, with a long way to go, towards loving myself first, and finding all the love I need within myself first. As it is I still am 'needy'. That's weak, and miserable. It leads to bad choices.

"It's strange what desire will make foolish people do." -- "Wicked Games", Chris Isaak

She makes love to me so intensely. We both know how to share energy and it explodes between us.

Makes me blind.

So I'm drawing back, physically and emotionally. I can't do this to myself.

Oh yeah, I'll see her again. Of course I will. but not for a month or so.

I'm pretty unhappy about protecting myself like this but I have to. Until I can be more emotionally self-sufficient, less needy of 'connection' I have to keep a wall around me.

The Aneros journey has taken me into realms I never imagined. I'm going to have to do a post on the thing that led to this stuff with AG; )my heart chakra opened, and I fell in love with someone. It kicked my ass terribly, but I discovered that I needed 'fixing'(.

Thanks to resources such as Brenee Brown )see her youtube TEDTalk at TED_X Houston(, online Anxiety Disorder coping tools )I've got this for life guys, but I'm SO much healthier now that I have tools to deal with it(, friends here who have offered solid advice, the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy", websites such as mgtow.com and blowmeuptom.com. Also, my rediscover of Tantra as well as my focus on energy work, kundalini, and working with my chakras.

This has been a lot of effort. Not just ass-play fun. heheheheheh. And I'm the better for it.

.....and I miss her.....

I don't pretend to understand it. I'm taking logical, calculated steps to be healthier,

...and I miss her.

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Aneros Girl Showed Me Something

We were sitting in a bar we like to frequent. Though I've only known her a short while, we've both been coming to this place for years.

A guy approaches our table. I've seen him around over the years. Disheveled clothing, obvious physical disorder of some type that has twisted him and made his speech garbled but recognizable.

I've always had an easy time ignoring him. Let me say that again, because it pains me...I've always had an easy time ignoring him.

He's one of those you don't want to look at too much. )what does that say about me? It says a lot(.

So he approaches the table.

AG lights up! She is beaming, throwing her arms around him, hugging, kissing his cheek. "I just love this man!," she exclaims.

I watch as they talk for a while. She hasn't seen him for a long time.
She introduces me and we chat, then he leaves.

I have never seen anyone do that with this man. Usually he just kind of 'slinks along', keeping to himself, staying out of the way.

I've told you AG is spiritual. But this revealed to me how huge her heart is. She is a beautiful woman. She could act aloof and I'd have hardly noticed it.

It's dangerous for me to talk about 'heart' and her, or any 'working girl' for that matter. I know the stakes. Still, she projects energy, and she feels and senses energy. Sex with her is an incredible exchange of kundalini energies. She doesn't call it 'kundalini' but it *is* every bit that and it dominates our sessions.

Having heart. Having sex. Dangerous combo. Love wants to enter the picture. That's a recipe for pain. I remain very skeptical of her feelings, I have to. I'm intuitive, and I sense stuff. But I'm also NOT objective with her. So I have to watch it.

This is a comfortable balance for me.

But when a woman shows me such heart. God, I have to respect her for that. And it has caused me to think about my own judgmental tendencies.

I don't like this path. I don't like having to mistrust someone. Not that it wouldn't be any different in the 'civilian world'. Sex with non working girls is still fraught with deceit, manipulation, and calculation. "Does she want my money?", "does she just need a 'stunt dick'?", "is she lying?", "is she hiding a boatload of Crazy?".

I see this in guys who are re-entering the dating world. They are up against all kinds of manipulation and deceit to the point that they are quite vocal about it in web forums.

And yet, here is AG. Her motivations are her own, god knows. But she opens herself so brightly at the slightest prompting.

I've told her that , when describing her to others I say "She is pretty, she is sexy, and she GLOWS".

When I see her, swear to god, she glows. When I knew her before we were 'dating' she didn't glow. But now she does.

I'm keeping my feelings at bay. Don't want to get hurt again. But there's room for me to admire the person she is.

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